fl Page 1100 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
College Football Roundup: The Big 12 Meets the SEC
It's Oklahoma and Florida for the BCS Title—an imperfect end to a season when no football team was perfect. Except, you know, Utah and Boise State. But they don't really count. What with their small conferences and even smaller media markets and exposure. The BCS is fair and impartial. Except, you ...
This Must Be Some Sort Of Mistake
I see the words that have been hastily scrawled with Magic Marker on this sweat-soaked towel, but I'm not sure I understand what they mean. It seems to imply that the Cardinals are in fact the NFC West Division champions. The Arizona Cardinals? The football team? Whatever! (Let the record show that ...
Morten Andersen Retires
Someone finally informed the NFL's all-time leading scorer that he is no longer in the NFL, so he officially announced his retirement today from Denmark. Andersen played 25 years for five different teams and the 63-yarder he hit in 1981 is still a Big Ten record. [AP/Google]...
FOX Broadcasts Some Viking Locker Room Dong
Thanks to everyone that sent us pics of this. It's hard to get emotional about Vikings head Brad Childress' son going into the Marines when there's all this flaccid black cock staring me in the face. Pretty sure Heidi Klum has the same problem when she's taping Project Runway, but we're getting off-...
NFL Update 2: A Game Colder Than Your Obese Sister-In-Law
Dallas (8-4) at Pittsburgh (9-3). Wind chill this morning was at 7 degrees, which means Steelers coach Mike Tomlin will come out wearing Bermuda shorts and a tank top. Wade Phillips will enjoy one of the few benefits of "natural insulation" today. I don't understand how, at 8-4, everyone is counting...
Michael Vick Spent $201K On The Day He Went To Jail
First off, I think it's a ton of shit when the media point to professional athletes as people that "have it all," as they've been saying about Plaxico Burress, for example. One thing they don't have? Common sense, apparently (who wears sweatpants to a club?) Michael Vick reaffirmed as much, when a r...
NFL Update 1: Fantasy Football Is Not My Forte
Chicago 20, Jacksonville 3. If you drafted Matt Forte in fantasy this year, JUST SHUT UP ALREADY! Yes, nice job taking a risk on a guy that was in every magazine's top 15 RBs. You're a real riverboat gambler! Forte has 52 yards on the day and the scorn of 11 of every 12 fantasy owners....
1 PM Games: Your Last-Minute NFL Cheat Sheet
Atlanta (8-4) at New Orleans (6-6). The Atlanta Falcons would get the 6-seed in the NFC playoffs if the NFL season ended last week. New Orleans needs to win here just to stay alive in the wild card race (they're tied for 10th with the Bears), but the Saints really need to win out or their season is ...
Federal Judge Blocks NFL Suspensions
Have you made your NFL picks for this weekend? (Just for fun! No money, right?) You might want to hold off on a couple of those games, since a few of the rosters won't be finalized until a judge makes up his mind about the suspensions of the six players who received four-game bans for using an illeg...
How The Gruden Stole Christmas
So are we pretty much agreed that the Big Three in Christmas specials are The Grinch, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer and A Charlie Brown Christmas? (Apologies to Will Leitch). Well, one of these will not be seen in the Tampa Bay area as scheduled on Monday, as ABC is pre-empting A Charlie Brown Chri...
College Football Preview: Why Conference Championships Suck Edition
Of all the ridiculous aspects of the BCS system, the conference championship game pisses me off more than any other because it points out the flagrant hypocrisy of the college presidents. In the same time period when they've fought a college football playoff because of the time it would add to the ...
Bernard Hopkins Not Exactly In Donovan McNabb's Corner
And now a few words from Bernard Hopkins, former middleweight and light heavyweight world champion, Philadelphia native (Germantown), prison guest and all-around badass. Subject: Donovan McNabb. Venue: KNBR-680 (San Francisco) radio, Thursday afternoon. Mood: Huffy. Key quote: "I wish the Wizard of ...
Plaxico Burress: Second Amendment Martyr
Well, here's a new take on the Plaxico situation. "Policy analyst" David Kopel has an editorial in today's Wall Street Journal, arguing that Plaxico Burress has been wronged. Not because he faces three-and-a-half years in Attica for what is essentially a victimless crime. (If you're not counting his...
Jamboroo, Week 14. Featuring Enhanced TV Graphics, The Hollywood Knights, Anthrax, And The TPIR Mountain Climber
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs, well, every Thursday afternoon during the NFL season. Drew's new book, "Men With Balls," featuring 100% new material, is available in stores and online here, and makes a lovely Christmas gift for the chronic masturbator in your life. You ...
Deadspin Reader Heroically Attends Screening Of Ryan Leaf Movie
In a simpler time, Mike Sebeckis was known as Seabass, Deadspin commenter extraordinaire. A software engineer who has been living in San Diego for 2 1/2 years, he doesn't have much time to frolic in the comments section these days; although he is still a regular reader and thinks Baby Mangino is a l...
This UFL Logo Is Easy To Swallow, But Hard To Take In
Remember that Communications 101 class you took where you'd spend hours inspecting the Land O Lakes package with a magnifying glass to search for penis-shaped trees? That was fun. But thankfully the United Football League has taken a less than subtle approach with its subliminal message. Yes, it ver...
Plaxico Burress Saga Turning Into Awful Russian Novel
This web of lies that is surrounding Plaxico Burress and his ventilated right thigh just keeps getting wider and stickier. As of this morning, it has now ensnared his wife, two doctors, an entire hospital, half of New York's backfield, and the guy who lights the Christmas tree at Rockefeller Center....
In The Club With Antonio Pierce
In case you missed it last night, Burress was suspended by the New York Giants and placed on the non-injury football list, costing him about $27 million in unpaid salary (plus fines.) The fact that he is not on an NFL roster may also make it easier for the prosecutors to hit him with that very large...
NFL Suspends Six Players Under Cover Of Night
So while the rest of the sports world was preoccupied last night with sweatpants and second helpings and trading contracts (and also some things are not related to Charlie Weis) the NFL decided to hide another little nugget of fun in the 6:00 p.m. news dump. Six players—including half of the Minneso...