fuck Page 13 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Warriors Owner: I Did Some Fuck Stuff With The Larry O’Brien Trophy
Here’s a bone-chilling collection of words from Haute Living’s new profile of Warriors owner Joe Lacob:...
Don't Do That: A Harrowing "Ask A Lawyer" Lightning Round
Welcome back to Ask a Lawyer, wherein I, a lawyer, respond to your questions. Got a vexing legal issue? Send it over, or drop it in the comments below. Today, we’re tackling the weirdest emails we’ve gotten so far, all at once. Let’s hit it. ...
A Night In Hell: The Savage Horrors Of World Series Game 2
“The path to paradise begins in hell.” —Mr. Baseball, My Life and Memories, Volume 2: The Childhood Years (Book 2, Ages 3 through 5)....
Science Says A Hot Dog Can Give You Cancer
A World Health Organization group has found that red meat and processed meats probably cause cancer. That basically implicates all the good stuff: ham, bacon, hot dogs, and delicious, delicious hamburgers. Your cookouts are about to get really sad. ...
ESPN's <i>College Football Final</i> Gets Live Sex Soundtrack
Beagle-eared and possibly insomniac reader Steve caught this moment on ESPN’s College Football Final around 3 a.m. Sunday morning, in which sex sounds mysteriously pop up into the broadcast. In ESPN’s defense, Stanford’s offense makes me horny too. ...
Bills Fan Spices Up Halftime With Mysterious White Powder
Okay, we’re calling it: Bills fans are officially the most bonkers fans in the NFL. As evidence, here’s a photo sent to us by a tipster at Sunday’s Giants-Bills game. Say, what’s that white powder in that guy’s dollar bill?...
How To Flip Someone Off With Three Middle Fingers
Here’s how to say fuck you to your haters with three middle fingers! On your own two hands! Haters can’t handle this!...
It Doesn't Sound Like Flip Saunders's Fight Against Cancer Is Going Well
In August the Timberwolves announced that head coach/president of basketball operations Flip Saunders had been diagnosed with Hodgkin’s lymphoma, but planned to continue coaching. After he suffered a setback that plan became unworkable, and three weeks ago Saunders took a leave of absence from the t...
Stephen A. Smith, Useful Idiot, Connects Weed To The Collapse Of Civilization
Stephen A. Smith, the painfully articulate, misogynistic, Floyd-fluffing TMT roadie, is still employed by ESPN, which means he showed up to work today to say fun, dumb shit very loudly to and with Skip Bayless on First Take. Today’s topic: drugs!...
Why Is ESPN Doing George W. Bush's Dirty Work For Him?
The ill-conceived remembrance is by now as much a 9/11 anniversary tradition as the insensitively branded 9/11 memorial tweet, but even by the degraded standards of the remember-when genre, today’s contributions by ESPN and Grantland are really out there....
Is Notre Dame's President A Liar Or A Fraud?
If it’s been too long since the last time you got teeth-achingly angry over some dipshit’s explanation for why college football players shouldn’t be paid, head on over to The New York Times and read Dan Barry’s conversation with Notre Dame’s president, Rev. John I. Jenkins....
Classic Man: "Women Should Take Baths"
Frequently in this space, we will consult a different entry in the 1987 book The Modern Man’s Guide to Life to see how the advice therein has aged. On Monday, we covered the art of bribery; today, we’re talking about chicks and baths....
Astros Trade For Scott Kazmir, Are Going For The Whole Damn Thing
The Houston Astros, who this time last year were churning through a 92-loss season, but have suddenly become a team to be reckoned with in 2015, just swung the first big trade of the season. They are acquiring starting pitcher Scott Kazmir from the A’s in exchange for prospects Daniel Mengden and Ja...
How Should You Feel About A Bear Using A Boulder To Break A Window?
As you’ve surely heard by now, a bear in a Minnesota zoo shattered a pane of glass with a boulder. That a wild animal would want to destroy a barrier keeping it within a confined habitat isn’t all that remarkable, but what is noteworthy is precisely how this bear went about breaking the glass....
Sentient Lacrosse Stick/Kicker Trolls Big Ten, Commits To Penn State
This here is Quinn Nordin, and today he committed to Penn State. Below, you’ll find a video he and a friend put together announcing his commitment, set to “Coming Home.” It makes no real sense in the first place—he’s from Michigan—and involving some sort of small, fixed-wing aircraft makes it even m...
Should You Fuck Tiger Woods?
There’s a report floating around that Lindsey Vonn broke up with Tiger Woods after she found out he was cheating on her with Amanda Boyd, Jason Dufner’s ex-wife. Regardless of the story’s veracity, it does lead to a basic question: Should people still fuck Tiger Woods?...
Dear Jon Stewart: Thanks For The Ride, Motherfucker
Good day to you, Jon Stewart. I never thought my first Dear Jon letter would explode with expletives, but ever since you, puckish fake newsman, hit what used to be called the small screen with your volcanic potty mouth and flagrant disregard for FCC regulations, you managed to disable just about eve...
Raising Your Kids To Be Cleveland Sports Fans Is An Act Of Cruelty
Last night, I knew how it was going to end before Game 6 even began. I’m from northeast Ohio....
Reports: Justice Department Brings The Goddamn Hammer Down On FIFA
According to reports in both the Wall Street Journal ($) and New York Times, a number of FIFA officials were just arrested in Zurich, Switzerland, and according to the Times are expected to be extradited to the United States where they will face charges of “wire fraud, racketeering and money launder...
"Amazing Grace" Played By Airhorns Is Our New National Anthem, Breh
Please, a moment of extreme silence to honor America and our Lord, for here is “Amazing Grace” played by a choir of airhorns. Hats off, hands on your hearts. Please direct your local place of worship to add this to the docket this Sunday, as it is both religious and our new national anthem. I litera...