gettypic Page 10 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Kevin Durant Out Indefinitely With Persistent Foot Soreness
Thunder GM Sam Presti held a press conference today to announce that his team is super boned. Well, he didn't say that specifically, but that's about all there is to be gleaned from his announcement that Kevin Durant, who was supposedly close to returning to the team after missing the last 13 games ...
Lionel Messi And Cristiano Ronaldo Find Their Final Forms
For a depressingly large group of actuarial soccer fans, this season's thrilling edition of the duel between temporally and cosmically entwined superstars Cristiano Ronaldo and Lionel Messi has mainly served as another set of cudgels to club down the other's reputation and legacy. Go deeper, becau...
Failure To Pay Office Pool Winnings Leads To Sad, Overwrought Email
This overwrought email, sent by the winner of a March Madness office pool to the irresponsible pool administrator who was dragging his or her feet with payouts, comes to us from a tipster who tells us that he dusts it off every March for a good chuckle. We don't blame him....
If You Want Blood And Guts, Root For Kentucky
Maybe you're one of those people who pushes all the difficulty sliders in your favor when you play NBA 2K15, or forces all the other teams to trade you their best players when you start up a Madden franchise. Maybe you only enjoy victory when it's achieved on the most destructive terms, your opponen...
If You Like Lanky, Versatile Big Men, Root For Frank Kaminsky
If the only skin you have in March Madness is the money you've invested in bracket pools, might I suggest paying attention to the 7-foot Midwesterner with the name of a 50-year-old plumber? Wisconsin's extremely talented forward Frank Kaminsky has led the 31-3 Badgers to their first-ever No. 1 see...
Olivier Giroud Is Good At Everything Except His Job
That right there is the quintessential pose of Olivier Giroud. His head tilted skyward, his face tightened into a pained grimace, his hands slowly making their way upward to his eyes or hair as he attempts to rub away the memory of whatever near-chance he was just unable to put away....
This Guy's Terrible Mashups Of Hozier's "Take Me To Church" Are Great
Have you ever listened to a song and felt it was missing that special something? Maybe you thought the tune was excessively cheery, and needed more melancholy wailing from the likes of Hozier, the dour Irish dude whose droning "Take Me to Church" is, somewhat inexplicably, a huge pop hit....
Attention: Stop Taking Photos In The Locker Room Of Half-Naked LeBron
Common courtesy dictates that you don't take photographs of half-naked strangers without their permission. Also, when you get caught doing so by said strangers, you should fess up instead of lying. This advice might seem obvious, but not so to three unnamed members of the basketball media. ...
Why Would Gareth Bale Want To Go Back To England?
There's a battle for Gareth Bale's soul being waged in the media of two different countries. On one side, you have the Spanish press expressing the frustrations of their readers by bashing the player's lazy, timid displays on the pitch. On the other, the press in Bale's native Britain is using its...
Promising NFL Rookie Retires Because Of Concerns Over Head Trauma
Despite being a rookie drafted in the third round, linebacker Chris Borland was an important part of the 49ers defense last season, even starting eight games. With Patrick Willis retiring and Justin Smith reportedly considering the same, the 49ers will rely on Borland even more heavily this season...
Burnley Beats Man City To Tighten Relegation Race, End Title Race
If the Premier League title race wasn't over six weeks ago when Manchester City failed to beat Chelsea, it surely is now, after Manchester City lost 0-1 to relegation-threatened Burnley....
Doc Rivers Is The Worst Kind Of Internet Commenter
Doc Rivers has made a very public case that DeAndre Jordan should be the NBA's Defensive Player of the Year this season. It seems absurd that the Defensive Player of the Year could be on the league's 15th-ranked defense, especially since the Clippers have plus defenders Chris Paul, JJ Redick, and Ma...
Attention, Milwaukee Brewers: Please Wash Your Hands
Brewers catcher Jonathan Lucroy and pitching coach Rick Kranitz reportedly have pinkeye. Gross. To prevent further cases, the team's banning high-fives until the contagion goes away. Another way to prevent further cases is by washing your damn hands, you disgusting baseball players....
Antrel Rolle Signed With Chicago After Getting A Message From God/Orbitz
Longtime Giants safety Antrel Rolle signed with the Chicago Bears this week, but leaving New York was not a decision he treated lightly. While a guest on WFAN sports radio today, Rolle explained that he agonized over the decision, even going so far as to ask God for a sign telling him what to do. ...
What The Hell Are The Saints Doing?
Chip Kelly's busy gutting the Eagles roster and reshaping it to his liking, but let's turn to the Saints, who are just throwing shit all over the office this week....
Patrick Reed Takes A Swing At Defending Himself, Slices Into The Woods
A month ago we republished a feature by Shane Ryan about golfer Patrick Reed's tumultuous college career. The story was an adapted version of material that will appear in Ryan's upcoming book, Slaying The Tiger, and had previously appeared on the site Tobacco Road Blues. The article told of how Reed...
Eureka For Europa! Why To Bother With Soccer's <i>Other</i> Club Tournament
You should watch the Europa League! No seriously, do it. We know what we've said before, but it's different now. And good....
Monument To English Soccer Failure Sells For $635,000
Wondering what gift to get the English soccer hater in your life that already has everything? How about a $635,000, 10' x 7' tribute to English soccer failure, which just so happened to be sold off to an unknown bidder yesterday: ...
Miami Officially Signs Ndamukong Suh. Will The NFL Fine Them Now?
Today what Chris Mortensen first reported three days ago was made official: Ndamukong Suh signed a monster deal to play for the Miami Dolphins. Everybody is reporting that Suh signed for six years and $114 million, with $60 million of that guaranteed ... the exact same numbers Mortensen first had ...
PSG Overcome Controversial Red Card, Boot Chelsea From Champions League
Schalke's nearly-heroic comeback yesterday put everyone on upset alert, and on cue, Paris Saint-Germain went and made good on its own upset bid with today's 2-2 draw against Chelsea, knocking the English club out of the Champions league. Despite a questionable red card on Zlatan Ibrahimović early ...