go Page 290 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Maybe Paco Alcácer Sold His Soul To The Devil For The Power To Score Whenever He Wants
Though Paco Alcácer’s goal today came when Spain were already down big in their UEFA Nations League match against England, the weight of the scoreline was never going to keep the corners of his mouth from turning upward in delight. Alcácer had stepped over the sideline and into a 3-0 hiding in the 5...
One Of The World's Worst Soccer Teams Scores One Of Its Best Ever Goals
The history of the Montserrat soccer team is brief and inglorious. The tiny Caribbean nation has only been competing on the international stage since 1991, and in that time they’ve played 36 matches, managed just five wins, scored 33 times, and given up an eye-watering 161 goals to opponents. We are...
Look! On The Pitch! It's Messi! It's Ronaldo! It's A Goalie Goal!
If you’re going to score a goal as a keeper, you might as well be like KRC Gent’s Kevin Frans in Belgium’s fourth division yesterday and make it a stoppage time, point-saving wonder strike of an overhead kick. You’ll probably only get one—maybe two—in your whole career, so you’d better make it count...
Kenyan Drake Experienced The Full Spectrum Of Emotions In The Dolphins' Nutty Overtime Win
Things got real weird in Miami at the end of Bears-Dolphins. After a scoreless first half, Chicago roared back with three touchdowns in the third quarter. It seemed like the Brock Osweiler-led Dolphins were toast, but Albert Wilson forced overtime with a pair of long catch-and-run touchdowns, boosti...
Leonard Floyd Suplexed Danny Amendola Into The Turf And Gifted The Dolphins A Score<em></em>
The Dolphins scored first in their game against the Bears today and while head coach Adam Gase should be celebrated for somehow getting an offense to succeed under the helm of Brock Osweiler, it’s not like Miami didn’t have any help getting near the end zone....
Evgeny Kuznetsov Is A Goddamn Wizard
Considering how long the Stanley Cup celebrations over the summer lasted for the Washington Capitals, it’s a feat in its own right that they’re able to play any hockey at all, let alone win a game or two. Evgeny Kuznetsov in particular has shown that he’s shaken off the championship hangover, leadin...
Brock Osweiler To Start Over Ryan Tannehill Against Chicago And Likely Die
A season that began with momentary optimism for the Miami Dolphins has slowly regressed to become the staple of comical mediocrity we all expected it to be. The team’s prospects against the Chicago Bears and their man-eating defensive unit for Sunday got even worse when the Dolphins announced that s...
Pennsylvania Gov. Candidate: "I'm Going To Stomp All Over Your Face In Golf Spikes"
There are no circumstances under which you should feel bad for Chris Christie, but here’s the one that seems closest. Heading into the primary campaign for the 2016 Republican presidential nomination, Christie had a brand that worked for him. He wasn’t a great or even terribly good governor of New J...
Usain Bolt, Aspiring Soccer Player, Scores Two Goals In His First Start
Usain Bolt’s conversion from track star to soccer player continues apace. In August, Bolt got his first taste of the footy when he came off the bench for Australian team Central Coast Mariners in a friendly match and actually acquitted himself fairly decently. He built on that performance today, mak...
James Rodriguez Defies The Laws Of Physics And Ruins Some American Scrubs
A squad of Team USA kids who are mostly less interesting than the American soccer boys who are currently injured—and also this guy who looks just like Michael Bradley oh God wait that’s actually somehow Michael Bradley—is getting wildly overmatched by a World Cup-caliber Colombian team in a Tampa fr...
What Can We Learn From Four Stadium Deals That Don't Suck?
Whenever professional economists are asked about stadium and arena deals, they invariably explain, for the hundredth time, that these “almost never” work out to the benefit of the public. (Look, here are a bunch saying so just a few weeks ago!) Between the price tags in the hundreds of millions of d...
Khabib Nurmagomedov Threatens To Quit UFC If His McGregor-Attacking Buddy Is Fired<em></em>
One of the guys who jumped into the octagon and attacked Conor McGregor during the post-match mayhem at UFC 229 was Zubaira Tukhugov, who himself is a fighter on the UFC roster. After the match, UFC president Dana White made it clear that Tukhugov would never fight in the UFC again, and now Khabib N...
What's Up With The Golden Knights?
The sophomore slump has struck early. The Vegas Golden Knights, a year removed from a miracle inaugural season with a trip to the finals, are 1-3-0, and they aren’t scoring. That’s a problem against any team, but especially when trying to keep up with an offense like the defending champs’....
Vladimir Putin To Khabib Nurmagomedov's Father: Please Be Nice To Khabib
Khabib Nurmagomedov is back in Russia on a victory tour after defending his lightweight championship against Conor McGregor and then defending his honor against Conor McGregor’s entire team. After bringing the belt back to Dagestan yesterday, he and his father Abdulmanap met with Russian president V...
Good Dog Throws A Mean Alley-Oop
Max Pearce is an extremely good dunker. He participated in the 2018 College Dunk Contest, where he threw down a memorable and pleasingly violent one-handed self-alley-oop while filming himself with a cell phone in his off hand. The website of Purchase College says Pearce has signed with the Harlem G...
Italy Set To Unleash Lasagna Upon Poland
Italy’s pantry of attacking players has long been worryingly bare, and with the recent injury to striker Simone Zaza, national team manager Roberto Mancini was practically starved for a new flavor to add to the mix. Today Mancini announced that he has at last found the missing ingredient: Lasagna....
Good Dog Interrupts Soccer Match, Is Rudely Denied Belly Rubs
Many dogs have invaded soccer pitches in the past, but few have made clear their motivations for doing so. This was not the case during a soccer match in Georgia, where a friendly dog ran onto the field with a clear goal in mind: to score some rubs on his belly....
Everything That Happened After The Fight Was Great For Conor McGregor
When Khabib Nurmagomedov vaulted out of the octagon to try and beat up Dillon Danis for supposedly talking wild, racist shit on Saturday, he did more than cost himself a ton of money, earn a suspension, and line himself up to get “smashed” by his father. He also saved Conor McGregor’s ass....
Steve Kerr Says "I Don't Want To Be Here," Gets Ejected, Waves Goodbye
The Warriors left Klay Thompson and Draymond Green out of Monday’s preseason game against the Suns. Who cares! No team maybe ever has had any less use for the preseason than the 2018-2019 Golden State Warriors. Steve Kerr knows this. Watch him thank the referees for hitting him with technical fouls ...
Khabib Nurmagomedov's Dad On His Son Fighting In The Stands: "I Am Going To Regard This Severely"
In the build-up to UFC 229, Conor McGregor said, among many other wild provocations, that his opponent’s father was a “quivering coward.” Why? Because the father had not stabbed Chechen strongman Ramzan Kadyrov when the two appeared together at a mosque, and had been “showing fake respect out of fea...