James Rodriguez Defies The Laws Of Physics And Ruins Some American Scrubs

A squad of Team USA kids who are mostly less interesting than the American soccer boys who are currently injured—and also this guy who looks just like Michael Bradley oh God wait that’s actually somehow Michael Bradley—is getting wildly overmatched by a World Cup-caliber Colombian team in a Tampa friendly. Thirty-six minutes into the “contest,” it was James Rodriguez who finally made the score reflect the talent gap with a wonderfully illogical left-foot shot that curled into the top corner past a pointless Zack Steffen.

The crowd—which is basically entirely Colombian supporters because who the hell would pay to watch a USMNT team that would still only be mildly interesting at best even if they did have a manager and a coherent plan—loved the goal. And honestly, any Americans who trudged to this game should just be happy they saw a good soccer play.