go Page 297 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Andrés Iniesta Has Moved To Japan And Become A Golazo-Scoring Fiend
They say you can’t teach old dogs new tricks. They also say there is always one exception that proves any given rule. I don’t really know what to do with these two chestnuts but they seem relevant to the fact that Andrés Iniesta has moved to Japan and apparently transformed into Lionel Messi....
Ben Zobrist Is Still Very Much Looking Forward To Robot Umpires
Ben Zobrist was ejected in the ninth inning of the Cubs’ 7–0 home loss to the Brewers Tuesday, for arguing (what else) balls and strikes with home plate umpire Phil Cuzzi. The beef went back a few innings, to when Zobrist took a called third strike in the sixth, and reacted angrily. Zobrist survived...
Roquan Smith Ends Holdout, Gets Some Protection Against Voidable Guarantees
Rookie linebacker Roquan Smith ended his holdout yesterday, agreeing to a contract with the Bears that partly addresses the concerns that had kept him from signing. The driving force behind Smith’s holdout was the same thing that initially kept Jets quarterback Sam Darnold out of camp: neither playe...
English Teen Lauren Hemp Scores From The Right Flank With Her Right Flank<em></em>
If we were to build a pantheon of world soccer’s most lethal weapons, there are a few iconic appendages we can think of that would be locks to make it in: Lionel Messi’s left foot, Cristiano Ronaldo’s right, Abby Wambach’s head. To those ranks we must now add the right hip/stomach/ribs region of Lau...
Old Man Wayne Rooney Produced One Of The Best MLS Highlights You'll Ever See
D.C. United sent their keeper up for a corner kick with a minute left in stoppage time of a tied game. It backfired, spectacularly. Then it didn’t, spectacularly, and it was all thanks to good ol’ Wayne Rooney. ...
David Bote's Walk-Off Grand Slam Was Exhilarating
When you’re playing baseball as a kid, just messing around with a bat and a ball in the park or your backyard, what are you picturing? Every time, it’s you’re down three, bases loaded, bottom of the ninth, two outs, two strikes....
Tiger Woods Is Back
Tiger Woods didn’t win, which is how I’ll remember this year’s PGA Championship. But he was close, which is what made it to me the most exciting and memorable PGA Championship in a decade. Because I don’t care about golf, don’t find it interesting as a sport. (Complaints can be directed here.) But I...
Steph Curry Succumbs To Steep And Sudden Athletic Decline
Steph Curry participated in the Ellie Mae Classic this week, for the second year in a row. Last year Curry shot 74-74 on Thursday and Friday, and missed the cut by 11 shots. It was by no means a world-class showing, but it was impressive stuff from a professional basketball player....
Savvy Sports And Media Knower: Why Is It So Hard For Me To Operate A Remote Control?
Bill Simmons, a man who runs a website renowned for its sports knowing and, more and more, its television and movie knowing, is having a hard time finding sports programming on obscure channels like, umm, TNT:...
Paul Pogba's Weirdo Penalty Is The First Premier League Goal Of The Season
At the start of a game that probably shouldn’t be played right now (I mean really, the World Cup ended less than a month ago for chrissakes, don’t these guys deserve some rest?), a player that probably shouldn’t be playing (Paul Pogba had a big role in that World Cup right up till the end, you might...
Jay Cutler Is The Breakout TV Character Of 2018
Jay Cutler is good at eating pussy. He wasn’t always, but he is now....
Luke Heimlich Signs With Taiwanese Baseball Team, League Kicks Him Out
On Monday, the defending champion Lamigo Monkeys of the Chinese Professional Baseball League announced that they had signed former Oregon State pitcher Luke Heimlich, who pleaded guilty to molesting his 6-year-old niece in 2012. Heimlich was probably a first-round talent, but he was not drafted by a...
European Tour Sent Tommy Fleetwood's $150K To The Wrong Tommy Fleetwood
Last month, English golfer Tommy Fleetwood finished in 12th place at the Open Championship. This month, Florida golfer Tommy Fleetwood received the $154,480 owed to English golfer Tommy Fleetwood by the European Tour for his 12th-place finish, and his friend tweeted the proof. There it is, right abo...
Yeah, That's A Goddamn Moth In An Umpire's Ear
Gahhhhh. This is an awful thing that should never happen—with any living creature, not just a dusty flying bug—but Yankees-White Sox umpire Bruce Dreckman was remarkably calm when a small, moth-like animal (most likely a moth) flew into his ear between innings....
Report: Hackers Attack PGA, Demand Bitcoin Ransom
The PGA of America has been locked out of important computer files this week after an attack by unidentified hackers, according to a report from Golfweek. The golf organization was taken down on Tuesday morning, when an attempt to open certain files led to a message saying, “Your network has been pe...
Why Your Team Sucks 2018: Chicago Bears<em></em>
Some people are fans of the Chicago Bears. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Chicago Bears. This 2018 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here....
Kellen Winslow Jr. Charged With Raping Unconscious Teenager
Former NFL player Kellen Winslow Jr., currently charged with multiple counts of forcible rape and kidnapping, got the feature treatment recently from USA Today and the San Diego Union-Tribune. Buried in those stories were some important updates on the criminal case filed against Winslow—he’s now cha...
UFC Champion Khabib Nurmagomedov Posts Gross Video Mocking Homeless People
Conor McGregor will return from his two-year hiatus from the UFC to fight Khabib Nurmagomedov for the lightweight championship belt on Oct. 6. The press tour for that fight will inevitably be full of wild, often-exhausting trash talk, and fans will all get sick of these two assholes before one of th...
Javy Báez Is Now As Great As He Is Captivating
Only a true turd would try to claim that Cubs infielder Javy Báez has not been the most consistently entertaining player in baseball over the last few seasons. From the moment he arrived in the big leagues he went about turning his every movement on the field into highlight-reel material, but there ...