go Page 691 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Escaping Ben Terry's Grasp Is Harder Than You Think
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

FIU To Boycott Cancer Benefit Unless They Don't Have To Play Mean Old UNC
I believe Oddjack would have set the odds of Isiah Thomas causing controversy at Florida International at 0.5 games into his college coaching career. If you took the under, you are a winner....

Bad Golf-As-Sex Metaphors Will Get You Fired
Which do you think this government official really got fired for: showing his peen to a golf course employee, or coming up with a truly awful one-liner?...

Why Your Team Sucks: Detroit Lions
Some people are fans of the Detroit Lions. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Detroit Lions. This 2009 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group....

And Now A Look At The Actual Brett Favre Goat Tied Up In The Lady's Trunk
Finally, you can put your photoshopping skills to rest — the comically cruel Brett Favre goat video has been released to the local news. Yes, the goat, although tied down, is still alive in these photos. [WCCO]...

Goats Are The New Mutton
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Narcing On Michael Vick And His Fruity Alcoholic Beverage
Vick was recently spotted sipping a fruity and legal adult beverage, a non-story in any league that isn't run by a guy who thinks he's Father Flanagan in Boys Town, which is to say, any league but Roger Goodell's NFL....

Favre-esque Goat Led To Slaughter In Trunk Of A Car
Mechanics in Minnesota were slightly alarmed this weekend when a woman came in for a new fan belt and then announced that she had a live goat—that was also a effigy of Brett Favre—in her trunk....

New Cubs Owners Will Probably Fix That
The Chicago Cubs are officially sold (finally) to the Ricketts family. Meanwhile, Derek Lee's helmet becomes a metaphor of a fading season. Even the logo can't hold its head up high. [WSJ/The CMSB]...

Jericho Scott Redux
"Some parents contend that a 13-year-old youth football player was kicked off his team because he's too good of a player." Sigh. [The Indy Channel, True/Slant]...

MANAGER FIGHT!!!
As is customary when a player throws a fastball three feet behind a batter's back, umpires deliver a warning to both managers. Then they tap gloves and come out swinging! At least that's the way it should be....

Why Your Team Sucks: New Orleans Saints
Some people are fans of the New Orleans Saints. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the New Orleans Saints. This 2009 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group....

Pig Rodeo Rides Home The Bacon
Do you like mutton bustin', but wish it had less adorableness and more frightened squealing? Then maybe the Japanese pig rodeo is more your speed....

Crappy White Sox Tickets No One Wanted Are Now Expensive Keepsakes
Maybe you didn't see Mark Buehrle twirl a perfect game live, but now, thanks to the glories of American commerce and the indifference of Sox fans, you can buy an unsold ticket from that day and pretend you did. [Ticketmaster]...

Tiger Woods: Golf's Newest Choke Artist
Someone actually had the nerve to ask Tiger Woods—on Saturday—if he'd ever come close to choking in a major. 14 for 14 when leading the final round. So congratulations, anonymous jinxer. You won the weekend....

And Now A Story That Is Trying To Break Your Heart
Deadspin's fondness for Pat Jordan's writing is well documented and it's always a good day when he publishes something new. But his latest piece for Men's Journal is a bit of a departure from his usual chest-thumping....

GOP Is The Preferred Party Of Most Ex-NFLers
Congressman J.C. Watts opines: "The values that Republicans espouse in terms of capitalism, free enterprise, responsibility, working hard, sacrifice and commitment – that message probably resonates with the majority of athletes a lot more."[Politico.com]...

No Sense Waiting Til Tomorrow To Start Engraving The Wanamaker Trophy
Consider this your official PGA Championship open thread. Is it too early to declare this Tiger's two-day victory lap? After Federer's and Nadal's early exits yesterday, we need confirmation that gods still walk among us. [PGA]...

Beer Tosser Confronts Those He's Wronged; Next, Victorino's Fist
Beer Chucker and Fall Guy finally tell their stories. Do they share a sweaty manhug and a tearful manpology? Does Chicago forgive them? Is Bartman on the hook again? [WGN] [Image: Cubbies Crib]...