go Page 695 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Asshole Kids Try Their Best To Ruin Blackhawks Victory Parade
Reader Paul attended today's Blackhawks victory parade in downtown Chicago. Instead of seeing Patrick Kane get nice and toasty, he saw asshole teenagers doing what asshole teenagers do best: be asshole teenagers. His story, a video, and more photos after the jump....
Your Culturally Insensitive World Cup Goal Roundup Of The Day (Video)
Two games today, two goals. Both of them in the first game. Bafana Bafana's Siphiwe Tshabalala knocked in a real beaut at the 55-minute mark, but Mexico's Rafael Marquez nailed the equalizer in the 79th. See, ties are fun....
Video Evidence That Maradona Still Knows How To Play
In amongst the fog created by the stone cold fact that, as a manager, Maradona is as mad as a box of oranges, it appears that everyone's forgotten that he used to be pretty handy with a football....
Walking Boner: The Story Of A Boy Who Hit Puberty At Age 9
"Do not, under any circumstances, ever leave your son alone with a girl. There could be serious consequences. A big complicated embarrassing mess that could affect his whole life. And yours. He can get a girl pregnant. "[The Good Men Project]...
Patrick Kane: A Portrait In Inebriation
Via NBC Chicago, here's a compilation of Kaner during the Blackhawks' victory parade today in Chicago. Watch him chug champagne, catch crowd beers, drink from the Cup, and slur his speech with the moxie of a 10-year veteran. Video inside....
Ozzie Guillen, GM, "Almost Come To Blows"
The White Sox front office has been upgraded to DEFCON 2, after Guillen and Ken Williams nearly threw down during the MLB draft. The catalyst? The Sox waiting until the 22nd round to take Guillen's son....
Blackhawks Dealt With Pronger About As Maturely As Chicago Paper
The Tribune may have insinuated it, when they poorly photoshopped Chris Pronger's torso onto a skirt. But someone in the Blackhawks locker room went whole hog, writing "Pronger Is Gay" on their whiteboard....
Wait 'Til Next Year (When It Grows Out)
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Adam Burish Takes High Road, Offers To Punch Chris Pronger One More Time
Chicago may have ended their ridiculous Stanley Cup drought on Philly's home ice, but apparently that's no reason to be magnanimous. Celebration or no celebration, there's always time to remind people that Chris Pronger is a bit of a jerk....
Dear Roenick: It's OK, Let It Out
Jeremy Roenick is a 40-year-old man. He was one of the NHL's best players during one of the NHL's least enjoyable periods. Last night, he cried on national TV. It's really fine that he did....
Blackhawks Celebrate Cup Win With 8AM Trip To Chicago Bar (MORE UPDATES)
The Hawks arrived back in Chicago today and, like all good hockey heroes, took the Cup to northside bar The Pony Inn around the time you were leaving for work....
Last Night's Winner: The Team That Won The Stanley Cup, Duh
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like the Chicago Blackhawks and Rocky Wirtz, who needed just three years to undo what Dollar Bill Wirtz spent 40 years screwing up....
Golden Tate's Dramatic 911 Donut Call: "They're Drunk And Being Retarded"
Listen in as an exasperated donut maker asks police to save her from two buffoons who stole her donuts and her keys. Also: an NFL wideout with "average" build who is "maybe 5'9"? Maybe he needs more than donuts....
Chicago Blackhawks Win The Stanley Cup
It's over. Patrick Kane wins it for the Blackhawks with a "secret" goal in OT. Good for him. (Update: Now with bonus video of Jeremy Roenick's tears.) [NHL.com]...
Did ESPN Photoshop Dwight Gooden's Mug Shot On To A Suit?
Doc Gooden called into the Scott Van Pelt radio show today, but since it is also simulcast on ESPN2, they needed a suitable head shot to show viewers. Or failing that, a police mugshot with a suit painted over it....
Last Call For Hockey? (a.k.a., The Cup Is In The Building)
Wait, a second....sports on NBC....on a school night? My stars! Let's hope it's not the last time. Unless you're a Blackhawks fans, in which, I don't care for your kind. (Why do I say things like?! So rude.)...
Great Passing Sequence Reminds Everyone That Spain Is Pretty Good At Soccer
Spain defeated Poland in their final World Cup tuneup and the obvious highlight was this stunning series of passes that led to a David Silva goal, which officially put the rest of Group H on pants-crapping notice. [Business Insider]...
Now The Stanley Cup Finals Is For Serious
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Golden Tate Breaks Into Donut Shop Due To Maple Bar Addiction
Police were called to Top Pot Doughnuts in Bellevue, Washington, at 3:00 a.m. on Saturday after two men were found entering the store after hours. Turns out new Seahawk Golden Tate just had a case of the munchies....
Jim Nantz Honors Justin Rose With Emotional Reading Of Bette Midler Classic
Justin Rose got his first PGA tour victory over the weekend at the Memorial tournament, which allowed Jim Nantz to reach deep into his back catalog of allusions. This week: Hocus Pocus chanteuse Bette Midler....