go Page 697 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Ozzie Guillen Not Helping North-South Side Relations
It's time for another round of every Chicago baseball fan's favorite game, "Guess The Deleted Expletive In Ozzie Guillen's Anti-Cubs Rant." Or for bonus fun, just make up a word and get an even better quote....

So We All Still Love Soccer Now, Right?
Does anyone know when the next USA soccer game is? Because unless it's this Wednesday*, I'm guessing our nation may have trouble parlaying the magical Confederations Cup showing into a nationwide love affair with the sport....

In Which Kobe Shows The Mayor Who's Boss
Kobe Bryant thinks he's bigger than the mayor of Los Angeles. And you know what? He's right. Divas don't share the spotlight with anyone....

Billy Mays Dead At 50
"Billy Mays here!" Not anymore. Chad Ochocinco was wrong. This is worse than 9/11. Now let's all watch his ESPN360 commercials and weep gently. [TBO]...

Milton Bradley Is Uncomfortable, And So Is A Certain Water Cooler
Lou Piniella, Milton Bradley and a water cooler — not as sexy a ménage à trois as it sounds. And unfortunately, it turns out the water cooler is the Lucky Pierre in this uninviting threesome....

Lou Piniella Adds Context To The Soto Stoner Saga
"Look, I have smoked dope one time in my life, and it didn't do a damn thing for me, and I never tried it again.... But a lot of people do (smoke marijuana). You can buy it in California from a pharmacy." [ChiTrib]...

The Donald Trumps The LPGA Championship
"Ever since opening his Trump National-Bedminster golf club four years ago, Donald Trump has been angling for a major championship or tour event.... Trump received his first major championship offer: the LPGA Championship. He turned it down." [Star-Ledger]...

Jesus Christ Football Star
How you feel about this account of football-playing home-schoolers will depend largely on your stomach for misspelled signage and sentences like, "Tebow ... demonstrated that a home-schooler could absorb a playbook as well as the Book of Deuteronomy." [NYT]...

The Warriors Take Stephen Curry, Knicks Fans Boo
7. Golden State Warriors: Stephen Curry, Davidson And to be honest, the Warriors probably just did the Knicks a favor....

Please Join KOGOD This Evening For NBA Draft Insanity
Deadspin's official draftnik for 2009 will be "KOGOD" aka "Unsilent Majority" aka "Baby KOGODINO." He will live blog until he falls asleep in a comfy chair covered in peanut shells and Velveeta. Have fun with him. [KSK]...

Geovany Soto Likes That Weed
Pictured, Left to Right: Chicago Cubs catcher Geovany Soto and the sweet, sticky herb that he loves to burn and inhale into his lungs, an activity he somehow got caught doing around the time of the World Baseball Classic....

Pistol-Wielding Old Man Would Like To Play Through
It is super annoying when you're out on the golf course and the group in front of you is playing very slowly, but I was not aware that I had a "moral obligation to destroy" these duffers with hollow-point bullets....

Ryne Sandberg Joins Wade Boggs In The "Stay Out Of Our Club" Brigade
If you are currently in the Hall of Fame and anywhere near a microphone, please state your preference on whether “steroid era” players deserve plaques like yours. Ryne Sandberg is the latest to go on record with a “no.”...

Lenny Dykstra Lets The World Know He's "Flying Higher"
Here's the portion of Bernard Goldberg's follow-up with Lenny Dykstra from last night's "Real Sports" where The Dude daftly mumbles his way through an interview he appears to have completely forgotten was scheduled....

Drunk Golfer Tries To Drive Home In Rented Golf Cart
A golf cart may seem safer than a regular car—especially when you've just downed 10 beers over 18 holes—but that does not mean you should try to drunk drive one home after a day on the links....

Breaking: North Carolina Natives Prefer Ol' Roy To Coach K
Roy Williams has a higher in-state approval rating than Mike Krzyzewski, but here's the shock statistic: Only 14 percent have an "unfavorable opinion" of K. Must be that we (part-time) North Carolinians put country first. [Under The Dome, PPP]...

Harold Reynolds Won't Embrace OPS
Now that Joe Morgan is telling tales 'round the national campfire, who out there is left to make specious, proudly ignorant arguments about the value of baseball statistics? Batter up, Harold Reynolds!...

John Daly's Bus Does Not Fit In There
John Daly's Magic Bus continues to roll around the country, but it's running a little bit lower than usual after he knocked off the top going through a low-clearance tunnel....

Lucas Glover Wins The U.S. Open
It's all over, folks. Glover holds on to win a messy five-day U.S. Open. More below:...

Former Lingerie Football Quarterback Is Now Golf Phenom
Blair O'Neal is a woman who enjoys posing in pubis-bone baring bikinis as well as frumpy khakis. Oh, and she's apparently quite the golfer too. [InGameNow]...