go Page 698 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Yep, a Chicago Cub Just Got Impaled on a Broken Bat
Tyler Colvin is in stable condition at a local hospital after being impaled in his upper left chest by a piece of broken bat during Sunday's game at Sun Life Stadium....
John Harbaugh: God Makes Foolish The Wisdom Of The World (Specifically, Vegas Point Spreads)
"Where is the wise man?" John Harbaugh asks his team. "Where is the scholar? Where is the philosopher of this age? Does God not make foolish the wisdom of this world? That's what He did tonight, because we're the Ravens."...
Antonio Valencia Has One More Broken Leg Than Usual
During the Red Devils recent match against Glasgow Rangers, winger Antonio Valencia was challenged by the aptly named Kirk Broadfoot and ended up suffering a compound fracture in his leg. He will miss the remainder of the season. [Goal.com, H/T JRG]...
Matt Forte Put A Bun In The Wrong Oven
Forte's fiancée dumped him after learning that his ex-girlfriend is seven months pregnant with his child. It worked for Brady! [Sun-Times]...
Who Is Pretending To Be The Togo Soccer Team?
Last week, Bahrain hosted Togo in a friendly, beating them 3-0. Then Togo's soccer federation said they hadn't actually sent their national team, and they didn't know who Bahrain had just played....
Deadspin I-Team: The Case Of Owen Wilson Urinating In Public
See that photo, I-Team? That's the guy from Marmaduke pissing on a golf course yesterday. Yes, he's wearing a Warriors shirt. But there is so much more to know, I-Team. That's where you come into play....
Blackhawks Fans Swing Dancing To That One Annoying Song, Because Why Not
A bunch of Blackhawks fans finally decided to combine their team's insufferable goal-scored anthem with the Lindy Hop because when anyone thinks "middling Scottish rock song," they think "dance celebrating Charles Linbergh." [Puck Daddy]...
Your Other Monday Night Football Open Thread: Chargers-Chiefs
If you're going to be glued to the TV while the Chargers put up thirty-four or so on the Chiefs, this is the open thread for you. Let your hatred of Todd Haley seethe below. ...
Tiger Woods Can't Stop Swearing, Breaking Promises To Stop Swearing
Tiger Woods, whether he's chastising himself or enthusiastically congratulating a friend, cannot stop swearing—around his kids, no less. Oh fuck no....
Weekend Winner: NFL Rule 8, Section 1, Article 4
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the "going to the ground" rule, which cost the Lions a victory yesterday and which comes from a part of the rulebook apparently written in crayon....
Tony Dungy Is An Insufferable Shit
"If I'm Reggie Bush, I give back the trophy," Tony Dungy said yesterday in his capacity as football's freelance moral compass. This is all he does anymore: intone some insufferably pious crap that's just aching to be cross-stitched onto a decorative pillow....
Moroccan Keeper Jumps The Gun In Penalty Shootout
Hilarious scenes during a penalty shootout between Moroccan top division teams Maghreb Fez and FAR Rabat, in the brilliantly named ‘Throne Cup'....
Good Morning, Just, Just Give Us A Few Minutes
Hey, we had an NFL party last night and there's that whole "Turning Five" thing. It got a little crazy. We'll be with you all shortly....
Are You Ready For Some Old-School Re-Imagined Video-Game Football?
And now, Apple II "Oregon Trail" reimagined with Plaxico, Stallworth, Goodell, etc. No wonder buffalo are pretty much gone....
The Camera Will Always Love Joakim Noah
We get so many of these photos that I begin to wonder if Joakim Noah will ever enjoy an undocumented moment in public or at his local head shop. At least he seems to relish these encounters. I mean, look....
Fräulein Soccer Player Treats Other Fräulein Soccer Player In Very Un-Fräulein-Like Way
Taoba Kemmy of FFC Turbine Potsdam is not to be messed with when she's taking a throw-in because she may well throw it at your face. Don't believe it? Just ask FFC Frankfurt's Kerstin Garfrekes. [Unprofessional Foul]...
This Goalie Has Just The Most Adorable Mask
KHL goalie Vasiliy Koshechkin has a fearsome kitty cat painted on his mask. Its name is Cерьiй, and it is "very bored from being on the side of his head all the time." I can haz intimidation? [Hot Ice via Puck Daddy]...
Big Ben To Miss Just Four Games
As expected, the NFL reduced Ben Roethlisberger's suspension to 4 games. Darn. Mike Wise was only off by 1....
Joakim Noah Plays Golf With Pizzazz
Oh, Joakim Noah. Whether you're buying a pipe to smoke tobacco or hanging at Lollapalooza, your off-the-court activities are wonderful. Let's hear some good captions, people. Photo via Sportress of Blogitude...