go Page 703 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Ghetto Golf Teaches Us About Urban Blight, Golf
An enterprising video game developer is working on a video game that combines "Grand Theft Auto" with "Tiger Woods PGA." I think even Russian mob-connected carjackers might find this one offensive....

William "Refrigerator" Perry In The Hospital
The Fridge is expected to recover, but is suffering from Guillain-Barre Syndrome, "a chronic inflammation disorder of the peripheral nerves" and also something that doctors call "Shuffleitis." [Sun-Times]...

Cubs Fans Will Never Escape Their Terrible Destiny
A rogue cat invaded Wrigley Field yesterday, reminding Cubbie fans everywhere that the ceaseless torment of loving sport's most accursed franchise will follow them to their eternal damnation beyond the grave....

I Guess This Is What You Live For
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Jim McMahon Is The "MVP Of The Bedroom"
It's come to this: The former Bears quarterback has become a pitchman for a mysterious sex drug. [WGN Morning News]...

Private Parts: John Daly Questions Rick Reilly's Ethics
Full disclosure: I have not read Rick Reilly's book, Who's Your Caddy? John Daly has, however, and would like to know just what it is about "off the record" that Reilly doesn't understand....

Mets Fans Give Thanks For One More Thing To Complain About
The Great Doc Gooden Autograph Controversy is mercifully at an end, the Mets having reversed field on the issue after getting an earful in a glorious media/fan backlash....

Doc Gooden: Wanton CitiField Graffiti Outlaw
Apparently Felix Unger is now in charge of stadium operations at CitiField. Hey, it's a brand new stadium! Don't write on the walls! Even if you've won a Cy Young Award and your name is Doc Gooden....

Jay-Z Defends Michael Phelps' Bong-Smoking Habits
"[A]ll these people who graduated from Princeton and Harvard, who are supposed to be pillars of the community, every day [they're] in the newspaper arrested for some kind of financial fraud." [Hip Hop DX]...

This New Detroit Lion Logo Should Fix Everything
The rumors are true. It seems that the new Lions logo that "leaked" awhile back is legit and a new typeface and squiggly lines will soon usher in a glorious new era of Detroit football....

Trailblazers, I Am Told, Are Often Misunderstood
Um so…did I mention I am also recovering from a sinus infection? How about a YouTube clip of children using obscene language?...

Breaking: Some Sports Franchises More Equal Than Others
"Don't get me wrong I love America," a reader writes. Whatever Wen Ho, think I don't get my fill of pinkos whining about Fox over at Torture Points Memo?...

Chicago: Just Lucky? Or Something More Sinister?
The world probably believes it is witnessing what the sociologist Robert K. Merton calls a "self-fulfilling prophecy." But are we ignoring a blatant conflict-of-interest in the city that gave us Rod Blagojevich?...

It's Not Official Until Stephen A. Tweets It
Yes, The Big Lead's report was accurate and, yes, Stephen A. does have a Twitter. May 1st, he's gone. Goodbyes all around....

The Man's A Menace!
Bill Murray hits spectator with tee shot at Outback ProAm, uses incident as opportunity to test new comedy material. [St. Petersburg Times]...

Rod Blagojevich Will Tweak Your Lineup
Did former Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich really once give Lou Piniella lineup advice? And more importantly, why didn't Piniella take it?...

Well That Didn't Take Long
A tipster writes: "I'm following the Cubs/Cards game on ESPN and the play ticker said that Milton Bradley just got ejected. Haha. I have no idea what happened but I hope it's hilarious."...

'God Bless America' Guy Decides To Sue Yankees
Patriotism taken to horrifying extremes, or a rogue fan intent on mocking decent society? Yankees fan Bradford Campeau-Laurion has his side of the story, the cops have theirs. Now, a court will decide....

Someone Thinks That East Carolina Should Update Its Logo
The hunt is on for the rapscallion responsible for this: An update of East Carolina University's pirate logo. Yes, it may be time for all pirate-themed teams to turn in their swash, and their buckle....
