go Page 703 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Oregon Attorney General Asks, "You Paid Mike Bellotti <i>How Much</i>?"
Former Oregon AD Mike Bellotti will receive a $2.3 million severance package from a job that he held for nine months. The state's Justice Department seems to think that's a lot, especially once they heard that Bellotti never signed a contract....

Golf Cart Demolition Derby Is Not Acceptable During Tournaments
A U Of Washington golfer was sent to the hospital after being pinned between two golf carts. This isn't a black eye for the sport; I know people who only watch college golf for the crashes. [Seattle Times]...

Augusta's Chauvinism Enabled Tiger, Says Masters Rabble Rouser
Tiger Woods's return at the Masters is fitting, because it's the mentality at that all-male club that drove him to cheat on his wife with an endless parade of floozies. That's Martha Burk's take on it, anyway....

Barack Obama Did Not Bail Out His Brother-In-Law At Oregon State
Today In Email Forwards From Your Crazy Aunt: Did Barack Obama funnel $17 million worth of federal stimulus money to Oregon State in order to save his wife's brother's coaching job? Uh ... no....

MMA Fight Scrapped Due To A (Yikes) "Brain Irregularity"
Thiago Alves has been scratched from his UFC fight this weekend, after a brain scan revealed two words you never want to hear from your doctor. I'm not a medical (or MMA) expert....but he might need that brain later. [Yahoo/ESPN]...

Dwight Gooden Charged With DWI (Update)
According to the Franklin Lakes, N.J., police, the oft-arrested former Met/Yankee (oh, and Indian/Astro/Devil Ray, too) was pinched early Tuesday morning on suspicion of driving under the influence. The tip we received and press release are below....

The Oregon Ducks Image Rehab Tour Commences
DE Terrell Turner carried his infirm neighbor up the stairs. It's nothing worth canonizing, but after the example set by his Duck teammates, he may as well be Oskar Schindler....

The Mennonites No Longer Hate America
Just hours ago, Goshen College, a private Mennonite-affiliated school in Indiana, played the National Anthem before a sporting event for the first time in their history. It wasn't without controversy. Of course....

Is The NBA Ready For Another Insane Billionaire Owner?
Mark Cuban has cornered the market on "playfully eccentric tech nerd sports owner," but he is in serious trouble if the Golden State Warriors fall into the hands of Larry Ellison. This guy practically invented the arrogant, kooky billionaire....

Chicago Cubs: This Is The Golden Age
Will Leitch will be previewing/musing on every baseball team each weekday until the start of the season. You can pre-order his book and follow him on Twitter. Today: The Chicago Cubs....

Let's Get All The Tiger Woods' "Masters Threesome" Jokes Out of the Way Now
USA Today's unavoidable weekend poll question: Who is best suited to play in Tiger's threesome at the Masters? "For pure theater, why not make Y.E. Yang part of the threesome?" Why not, indeed! [Thanks to Chris S.]...

ESPN On Five-Minute Tiger Interview: "More Important For Us To Have No Restrictions"
ESPN decided that a short, tape-delayed interview with Tiger Woods near his mansion columns was better than no interview - and Lightning Round Tom Rinaldi was the first and obvious choice to conduct the interview, the WWL said....

Golf Channel Actually Asks Tiger Woods Tougher Softball Questions
Golf Channel's Kelly Tilghman actually asks better questions and introduces us to Tiger's magic pussy protector Buddhist bracelet he now wears to keep rooted. She also reveals Ari Fleischer is done working for Team Tiger. Big day for "Kell." [GolfChannelTranscript]...

Oregon's Stolen Projector: The Real Victim
Jeremiah Masoli admitted to stealing a projector, among other things, from an Oregon frat house. But the media has criminally under-reported that aspect of the theft. We have learned exclusively that the frat was really enjoying that projector....

Canine Vs. Citrus: Your Gonzaga-Syracuse Open Thread
A sole early game again, as 'Cuse tries to avoid getting Jayhawked, and Gonzaga tests our patience with its "Cinderella" label for the 20th consecutive year. Follow along in the comments, won't you?...

Ozzie Guillen's Apple Did Not Fall Far From The Tree
The manager's 24-year-old son, Oney, "resigned" from the White Sox video department because of his rogue Twitter account, but his mom cleared it all up with the GM. It's gonna be a good year on the South Side. [FoxSports/Sun-Times/Yahoo; Pic]...

Mike Bellotti Suddenly Needs To Not Work For Oregon Anymore
Mike Bellotti worked at Oregon for over 20 years, both as a football coach and athletic director, but just remembered that he left his keys in an ESPN studio and won't be coming back. Gee, I wonder why that is?...

Pitino-Backed Red Birds Attempt To Screw Bears On Restaurant Table, So To Speak: Lousiville-Cal Open Thread
You were expecting a different picture, weren't you? Louisville had an off-year, and so did the Pac-10; there might as well be two pictures to keep you engaged. Say "Samardo Samuels" thrice into a mirror and comment the results....

Shining Kings Of The Serengeti Beset By Cerulean Satans: Arkansas Pine Bluff-Duke Open Thread
Duke's better this year than it's been in a while; expect the Blue Devils to crack 120 in this game. Look for floor-slaps galore by the scrubs who get into the game with about seven minutes to play....

Andrew Jackson's Least Favorite Team Vs. Everyone Else's: Florida State-Gonzaga
The days of Casey Calvary and Matt Santangelo are gone; Gonzaga has become a West Coast Duke. Solomon Alabi has the name of an extra from Angel Heart but is also a defensive force. Will we see Matt Bouldin cry?...