go Page 705 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Michael Phelps Is Enjoying His Swimming Exile
What's a famously rich, famously awkward swimming champion to do, when he's banned from the pool for too much outrageous behavior? Horrifying clubgoers with drunken makeout sessions is a good place to start....

Please Refrain From Humping The $1.5 Billion Stadium, Thank You
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Last Blogdome Ever
• But keep sending links: We'll make our best efforts to find a place for it. [The Tainted Supplement]...

'Favre Just Dropped An F5,' And Other Observations On Jock-Female Relations
It's time for Waxing Off, the only Internet feature which can tell the time in the U.S., London and Prague. Today's topic; why the rules for dating women seem to be different for top athletes....

Chicago, Meet Your New Quarterback: Jay Cutler
In somewhat of a stunning move in the, wow-that-happened-fast sense, the Denver Broncos have traded Jay Cutler to the Chicago Bears for, well — A LOT....

'Where's The Love?,' Asks Blogger Who Broke Green Death Email Story
Call this the story of how a Boston blogger broke the "Green Death Crazy Soccer Coach Email" story, yet somehow failed to get any credit for it....

Michael Silver To Josh McDaniels: “You Haven’t Done Dick”
For this week's Deadcast, we brought on Michael Silver from Yahoo Sports (who sounds remarkably like Leonardo from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles) to talk about the Jay Cutler situation. And retractable third arms....

Is This The End Of The Line For Matt Bush?
Troubled former Padres' No. 1 overall draft pick Matt Bush released by Blue Jays, for not complying with the "zero tolerance terms of his agreement." Uh oh. [Toronto Globe And Mail]...

Cubs Just Can't Let Go Of Kerry Wood
Kerry Wood's Wrigley Field locker will remain unoccupied this season, even though the fragile fireballer is now pitching for Cleveland. They've also been asking mutual friends if Wood has said anything about them. [NBC Chicago]...

Oregon Basketball Infected By Cannibalism?
Three Oregon basketball players were cited on Monday for shooting BB guns ... at ducks! That's just sick! [Register-Guard]...

Pat Bowlen To Cutler: JUST GO AWAY, YOU STUPID BABY
Actually it was a bit more reasonable than that — but just as emphatic. So which team will snag Jay Cutler? [DenverPost]...

Massachusetts Girls Soccer Coach Resigns Over Hilarious, Possibly Insane Email
If George Patton had coached a girls soccer team, he probably would have run things this way; only without so many references to red meat. Meet Michael Kinahan, ex-coach of the Scituate, Mass. Green Death....

This Lucky Lady Might Be The Person Riding In Tim Tebow's Sidecar
But who knows! Is she just an amorous fan? A waitress? A cousin? A young woman in need of a circumcision? It's a mystery that's sure to cause Gainesville's single ladies to hyperventilate. [TheBigLead]...

Tiger Woods Now Fully Armed And Operational
GolfBot 5000 birdied 18 to complete a five-stroke comeback and destroy yet another helpless victim yesterday at Bay Hill. Golf was fun while it lasted, huh, folks? [Los Angeles Times]...

Darren Daulton Still Delightfully Nuts
One would think that with the power of astral travel, Darren Daulton would choose to visit Vienna during the Renaissance, or Rome during the reign of the Caesars. But a card show in Ephrata, Pa.?...

NCAA Sweet 16: (1) North Carolina vs. (4) Gonzaga
East Region: No. 1 North Carolina (30-4) vs. No. 4 Gonzaga (28-5) When: Thursday, 9:57 p.m., EDT Where: FedExForum, Memphis, Tennessee NORTH CAROLINA TAR HEELS 1) Make it Wayne Let's get this out of the way for those waking from comas: Tyler Hansbrough is the ACC's all-time leading scorer and Tywo...

Getting To The Bottom Of The Lingerie Football League
It's time for Waxing Off, the only Internet feature to turn down federal stimulus bailout money. This week's topic: The scourge of the Lingerie Football League....

More Thinking Outside The Box From The NFL Meetings
The NFL "is exploring the possibility of having sponsor logos worn unobtrusively on practice jerseys." For the Bengals I suggest Chico's Bail Bonds. [USA Today]...

Shawn Johnson Stalker Manages To Make 'Dancing With The Stars' Interesting
Duct tape, two loaded guns, a cross-country journey in a dilapidated car; yep, spring is in the air. And that's when a young man's fancy turns to thoughts of love, and Shawn Johnson....

Trey Wingo Thinks Jay Cutler Should "Get Over It"
"You know what? Players lose in the NFL. That's the way it goes. Everybody is a commodity...Everybody is tradable. If Joe Montana was tradable I'm pretty sure Jay Cutler is..." [OnTheDL]...