go Page 751 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Michael Phelps Getting Him Some Lindsay Lohan (OMG, LOL)
When it comes to Michael Phelps, Lindsay Lohan is apparently willing to postpone this whole lesbian thing. While interviewing Michael's mom Debbie on Monday, Hobbit-like Access Hollywood correspondent Billy Bush received a text message from Lohan, which he proceeded to show Debbie while on the air. ...
The Prodigal, Bloodshot, Neckbearded, Booze-Swilling Son Returns
In the past hour there have been no less than three emails with "The Neckbeard Returns!" as the subject line. This is either a bold move or an absolutely desperate one, but it's true: Kyle Orton is the starting quarterback for the 2008 Chicago Bears' season opener. Orton overcame Rex Grossman in the...
BOCOG Vice President Wang Wei Wants You to Stop Bothering Him
The Olympics are in full-swing and they're in China, so, you know, it should be a rather fascinating world event, if you're into fascinating world events. And we are proud to welcome back our Deadspin Beijing Bureau, our own trio of correspondents living in China and reporting on everything they see...
Welcome To The Post-Phelps Malaise
Late Saturday night Michael Phelps finally accomplished the impossible-turned-inevitable: 8 gold medals, setting hearts aflutter and cementing his legacy as an Olympic icon destined for corporate millions, milk mustaches, and being an overexposed special guest on NBC shows for the rest of his life. ...
Some More Mustard On That 100-Meter Gold Medal, Mr. Bolt?
So, what if Michael Phelps had a huge lead in the 200 meter freestyle, and as he approached the finish he flipped over and started doing a lazy backstroke, spitting water up like a fountain? Or the U.S. women's basketball team, ahead by 30 in the gold medal game, running around making Harlem Globetr...
Sunday Night Baseball: Padres-Phillies
Will Cole Hamels keep the Phillies in the NL East race? Will Cha Seung Baek prevent San Diego from being the worst team in baseball? Will you even be able to see this live blog? These queries and few others will be answered once you jump to the rhythm. (Jump jump to the rhythm.) * * * Okay, so nobod...
Who's You Haddadi? Iranian Basketballer Banned From NBA
If any of you pro basketball fans were watching Iran play in the Olympics and thought to yourself that Hamed Haddadi might be a good addition to your team, you can put those dreams to bed. Haddadi, who has averaged 16 points in four games in Beijing, has been advised that the NBA office has forbidde...
The Communists And Trendy AIDS Campaigns Might Be Onto Something
Amid all the allegations of scoring bias that seem to come out of these (and every other) Olympic Games, there may be an even simpler controversy involving the colors on an athlete's uniform. A study from a German university is indicating that teams and athletes that wear red are actually the benefa...
Beijing Does Not Lend Itself To Getting Stinky On One's Hangdown
Numbers are in from Beijing that paint this Olympiad's cadre of athletes as a prudish lot. I suppose it's one thing to compete in that communist land without taking any sort of stance on human rights, Darfur, or the environment. But that's clearly their prerogative, and one that we can generally und...
May-Treanor And Walsh Are Like A Shark Riding On An Elephant's Back, Trampling And Eating Everything They See
Beach volleyball speaks to me about the innovative nature of America. Here we have a spinoff sport, where two people are doing the same work originally done by six, and doing it on arguably the slowest surface one could find in any sport. And the juggernaut that is Misty May-Treanor and Kerri Walsh ...
Phelps Achieves Perfection With a Little Help From His Friends
Michael Phelps has just made history by eclipsing Mark Spitz's record of seven gold medals in a single Olympics with a win in the 4x100 medley relay in Beijing. Phelps maintained a small lead swimming the butterfly in the race's third leg and once again it was Jason Lezak holding off the opposition ...
Those Chinese Certainly Know How To Conduct A Job Search
It's been both enjoyable and sad to see some of the stories coming out of Beijing. It's been seemingly one unpleasant discovery after another, between the poor girl who was deemed unpretty enough to sing the Chinese national anthem and the faux ethnic kids around the flag during opening ceremonies. ...
USA Basketball Beat Spain By 37 With Perimeter Shooting, Superior Apparel
The United States' And 1 Mix Tape Tour quest for their first gold medal in basketball in eight years claimed another victim this morning. America shot 12-of-25 from behind the freaking arc as Spain was blown out, 119-82. Eight Americans scored in double-digits as Spain was held to just 39 percent sh...
Gay Can't Come Up With Burst In Heat, Denied Shot At Gold
By now you've almost certainly realized that American sprinter and butt-end of sophomoric humor (hehe, butt) Tyson Gay didn't even qualify for the final in the 100-meter (328 feet) dash, which was won in record-breaking fashion by Jamaica's Usain Bolt. Two great last names, each respectively illustr...
Daryle Ward Will Eat Your Children In Broad Daylight
The Chicago Cubs have just won their ninth straight game. In related news, Hell has frozen over, pigs are flying, gas is now 75 cents a gallon, and Andy Dick just had sex with a girl. This wild chain reaction began when Ward, in the midst of an 0-for-13 slump, hit a three-run homer in the ninth to p...
Amid Protest, Use Of Instant Replay, Phelps Wins 7th Gold
Michael Phelps, arguably the face of the United States contingent in these Beijing games, is seven-for-seven. Last night, he came from behind in the 100-meter (328 feet) butterfly, edging out Serbia's Milorad Cavic by 1/100th of a second. It appeared to some that Cavic had beaten Phelps to the wall,...
Robots In Spandex, Sleeping Until Noon And Falling On Your Ass
Once upon a time, a site called The Black Table had a regular feature entitled Waxing Off, in which women gathered in an online roundtable to discuss issues of the day, and also to make fun of Will Leitch's shoes. And so we got to thinking: With so many great female sports bloggers out there, why no...
Beijing Opening Ceremony Performers And American Astronauts Have Much In Common
Say, remember those Opening Ceremonies from Beijing the other night? Pretty awesome, right? There was a globe! And glowsticks! And a scrim! And all kinds of crazy shit! As we now know, many of the elements from the ceremony were faked (or as fake as something involving a staged presentation can be)...
Behold, The Power Of Cheese: Phelps Wins No. 6
The surgeon general is frantically trying to keep a lid on the latest story out of Beijing, in which Michael Phelps has revealed his daily diet. He won gold medal No. 6 on Friday — in the 200-meter individual medley — leaving him one away from Mark Spitz' record with two races to go. And he has 12 g...
Andrea Joyce Got Off Easy
The video below made the rounds a couple of months ago, but considering recent events, it really needs to be revisited. It purportedly shows slippery-footed American gymnast Alicia Sacramone punching some dude and knocking him out (following the jump). As you can see, Ms. Sacramone has a pretty dyna...