good Page 46 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Bear Chows Down On A Buncha Dog Food, Passes Out
The beautiful lug you see in the picture above is a good bear, who after munching at a 20-pound bag of dog food decided he needed to take himself a little post-meal nap. ...
Riley Curry Will Crush All Sports Baby Challengers
Last week, 49ers wide receiver Torrey Smith posted some videos of his son T.J. doing adorable dance moves. T.J. showed himself to be a fantastic sports baby, one whom I daresay seemed equipped to snatch the crown from Riley Curry, the world’s reigning top sports baby. But Riley Curry doesn’t suffer ...
Move The Minnesota Vikings To Pluto
Thanks to the New Horizons probe, the world’s seeing marvelous new photos of dwarf planet Pluto and its moons this week. The 10-year trip cost approximately $720 million, and as WCCO’s Pat Kessler pointed out in a lighthearted way, the Minnesota Vikings’ new stadium will require more money and not c...
Sentient Lacrosse Stick/Kicker Trolls Big Ten, Commits To Penn State
This here is Quinn Nordin, and today he committed to Penn State. Below, you’ll find a video he and a friend put together announcing his commitment, set to “Coming Home.” It makes no real sense in the first place—he’s from Michigan—and involving some sort of small, fixed-wing aircraft makes it even m...
How To Move Across the Country, One Step At A Time
Last winter, after waffling between leaving or staying in Brooklyn for close to four years, I finally bit the bullet. I decamped to Seattle. I used to think I couldn’t live without an egg & cheese from the bodega, McGolrick Park, or Pete’s Candy Store (where there’s no candy, but plenty of liquor). ...
The Perfect Grilled Hot Dog
If you’ve ever been in the meat aisle of the grocery store getting ready for a party and trying to figure out how much chuck you need to make burgers, but then decided, “Nah, this is too hard, we’ll just do hot dogs,” then this post is for you. Grilling hot dogs is an American pastime for everyone, ...
Mets Rookie Steven Matz Had One Hell Of A Debut
The Mets’ Steven Matz played in his first MLB game Sunday against the Reds, and went 3 for 3 at the plate with four RBI. Steven Matz is a pitcher....
Looking For A Job? Apply To Be The NFL's New Director Of Investigations!
Want to aid the NFL in its quest to rid itself of the scourge that is player misconduct? Ever find yourself shaking your head at the bone-headed mistakes that ruin one of their innumerable faulty investigations? Think you can do better? Then by all means, apply here for the league’s newest position,...
Pool Bear Is Getting This Summer Started Right
I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but summer is here, my friend. It is officially here....
Teenaged Red Sox Fan Somehow Not Garbage
Three things that are shit: Teenagers, Red Sox fans, and the city of Boston, a trash town that belongs in the dumpster. So I’m not entirely sure what to make of this:...
Marathoning With Wolves
In trying to expunge the newest reports and associated mental images of Alberto Salazar massaging Galen Rupp late at night with Alpha Male, perhaps in the invigorating new Down By The River scent, I came across this bit of fresh air....
Co-Ed Softball Team's Pro-Style Instagram Account Is My Favorite Thing
I would like you to meet the Stinkmitts, a beer-league softball team from Toronto that really understands how to get the most out of social media. Throughout the 2015 season, which the Stinkmitts appear to be dominating, the team has been running its Instagram account as if it was in the big leagues...
Dear Jon Stewart: Thanks For The Ride, Motherfucker
Good day to you, Jon Stewart. I never thought my first Dear Jon letter would explode with expletives, but ever since you, puckish fake newsman, hit what used to be called the small screen with your volcanic potty mouth and flagrant disregard for FCC regulations, you managed to disable just about eve...
Roger Goodell Has More To Lose Than Tom Brady
In just a few minutes, at the NFL office at 345 Park Avenue, Tom Brady will begin his appeal of his four-game suspension for his role in the Patriots’ ball-deflation scandal. And while drama and reality dictate that I say something like “he’ll be facing off against Roger Goodell,” that’s not technic...
This Little Kid Has The Correct Reaction To Seeing Zlatan In The Flesh
We know, we know, little Mikael. We’d make the same face....
Bear To Leaves: "Come Here, Stupid Leaves"
Sometimes life is a fucker and tries to deny you the things you want. Things like financial security, a good metabolism, or, in the case of this moon bear, some tasty leaves. Don’t let life do you like that. Get the leaves....
RIP Ornette Coleman, Who Confounded Most People And Humbled Us All
“There is a law in what I’m playing, but that law is a law that when you get tired of it, you can change it.” So said incomparable musical innovator Ornette Coleman, who died this morning at the age of 85, and while his career was full of these kinds of delightfully cryptic remarks, few unpack his s...
No More Bulldog Mascots
Rude opinion: there are too many bulldog mascots....
How Augusta National Became Golf's North Korea
The following is excerpted from Slaying the Tiger: A Year Inside the Ropes on the New PGA Tour....