hell Page 23 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Arizona Coyotes draft racist dickhead
The Arizona Coyotes aren’t good at anything. Their on-ice product has sucked for a decade. They bilked Glendale into paying for their arena, but forgot that no one wants to drive to Glendale to see their shit-ass product....
Six Months After Rudy Gobert, 2020 is an Ever-Worsening Hellscape
The six-month mark came and went with hardly any notice, but it did come and go. It’s now been more than half a year since Rudy Gobert, days after jokingly touching all the microphones at a press conference, tested positive for COVID-19 and effectively shut down the sports world....
With Bay Area Air Even Worse Than Last Week’s ‘Orange Sky,’ Niners’ Kickoff Leaves Players in Danger
Last Wednesday, the Oakland A’s played a night game hours after as the Bay Area turned into an orange hellscape. The stunning visuals, and the underlying poor air quality, made national headlines. Now, the air quality is even worse — and while it probably won’t stop the San Francisco 49ers from kick...
We Rank the Worst No. 1 Picks in NBA Lottery History
Since the NBA’s first draft lottery in 1985, there have been 11 first-overall picks who did not make an All-NBA team or appear in an All-Star Game. That number is a little inflated because Zion Williamson and DeAndre Ayton are just getting started, so when you’re trying to figure out which is the wo...
Luka Dončić Learns About the Playoffs the Hard Way
The NBA finally got past the opening act, and now that everybody got a beer, went to the bathroom one last time, and the house-lights have gone down, the real show has begun. The actual playoffs started yesterday, and they were a small lesson in glorious defeat. That’s kind of what the playoffs are,...
De'Aaron Fox Not Playing In NBA 2K Tournament Makes This Thing Trash
De’Aaron Fox is the NBA’s premier gamer. ...
This is Horse$#&!: Nick Foles is Just Some More Chicago Bears Patchwork
For most of their fans, watching the Bears in the offseason is a lot like watching Martin Landau’s Bela Lugosi in the lake with the octopus in “Ed Wood.” Not only does he have to thrash about wildly, but he has to additionally do the thrashing about for the inanimate and unwieldy beast he’s wrestlin...
When The NBA Returns, How Will The League And Teammates Deal With Rudy Gobert?
The internet lasts forever....
Bears Fans Boo Team Off The Field After Offense Freezes At The Goal Line
Is this football? I think it’s supposed to be football, but what I’m seeing is an especially glitchy game of Madden I need to turn off and turn back on again. And the fans in Chicago seem to agree with me. Heading into halftime against the Chargers, down 7-6 with 45 seconds remaining in the quarter,...
Soft Roughing The Passer Call Helps Deprive World Of Elite Joe Flacco Moment
On the Broncos’ final drive of the game, Joe Flacco finally looked like the elite quarterback that John Elway thought he was when the Denver GM signed the ex-Raven this offseason. After leading his team 50 yards down the field, Flacco faced a 4th-and-3 on the Bears’ 12-yard line. The quarterback the...
Big Boban Engulfs Donovan Mitchell On Jump Ball
Team USA lost to Serbia, 94-89, in a consolation round matchup at the FIBA World Cup today, ensuring their worst-ever finish at any international tournament. The underperformance of an talent-depleted national team is less interesting to me than the physical prowess of one of basketball’s very large...
Tramon Williams Adds Further Humiliation To Mitchell Trubisky's Rotten Opening Night
Yes, it’s Week 1. Yes, the Packers defense is expected to be much improved this season, after general manager Brian Gutekunst dedicated big bucks during the offseason to improving the personnel. Still. Chicago’s offense Thursday night was totally punchless, even amateurish, outside of a few nifty pl...
Team USA Routed In Bleak Scrimmage Against D-League Crew
Team USA still needs to winnow its pool of 15 finalists down to 12 before the FIBA World Cup begins on September 1. No one else is getting added to this team, but perhaps they should burn down the roster and start all over....
To Win An Ultramarathon Through Hell, You Need A Devil To Chase
JAMMU AND KASHMIR, India — If you go about as far north as a vehicle can reasonably take you in India, and about as high as your lungs can handle, you may well end up in a city called Leh. One of the few ways to get to this city, which sits 11,500 feet above sea level, is to travel along the Leh-Man...
Steve Yzerman Is Coming Back To Detroit, And It's About Friggin' Time!
It’s finally happening! Red Wings legend Steve Yzerman is spurning that lame expansion team in Seattle, and he’s ignoring lost franchises like the Rangers, and—of course—he kicked the Tampa Bay Chokemeisters to the curb, all so he could come home to Detroit. Yes, that thing that I knew in my heart o...
UNC Basketball Coach Sylvia Hatchell, Who Sounds Like A Real Nightmare, Resigns After Investigation
Longtime University of North Carolina women’s basketball coach Sylvia Hatchell has resigned after more than three decades with the program, following the conclusion of an investigation that found she made “racially insensitive” remarks, pressured players to play injured, and generally failed to conn...
Tiger Woods Just Won The Fucking Masters
The illustrious green jacket is back on the shoulders of Tiger Woods for the first time since 2005. After battling the likes of Dustin Johnson, Brooks Koepka and Xander Schauffele all day, Woods won the whole damn thing with a score of -13. As if everything that had been building to this moment wasn...
Former Auburn Coach Tommy Tuberville Is Running For U.S. Senate And Sean Spicer Is Going To Be On His Campaign Team Because Everything Is Stupid All The Time
Former Auburn head coach Tommy Tuberville tweeted on Saturday that he’s running for one of Alabama’s seats in the U.S. Senate. As if that weren’t bizarre enough, CBS Sports’ Dennis Dodd reports that noted gum-swallower, and former White House press secretary, Sean Spicer will be working for the camp...
Report: UNC Women's Basketball Coach Sylvia Hatchell Accused Of Racially Offensive Remarks And Endangering Players
Sylvia Hatchell, the University of North Carolina’s Hall of Fame women’s basketball coach, is being investigated by the university after players’ parents accused her of making “racially offensive remarks” and pressuring players with serious injuries to continue playing. Hatchell and her entire coach...
Something Weird Is Happening With UNC Women's Basketball
The University of North Carolina released a vague and ominous statement today about their women’s basketball program, announcing that the entire coaching staff has been put on paid administrative leave while a law firm conducts a review and “assesses the culture of the women’s basketball program.” T...