hey Page 17 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
It's Time To Vote In The Name Of The Year Elite Eight
Each March, we present the Name of the Year bracket to you in the neatest fashion we can muster. The seeding choices we make rank our naminees in the most ideal fashion we can envision. Were all of the higher seeds to conquer all of the lower seeds, it might be a boring tournament, but the result wo...
Vote In The Name Of The Year Sweet Sixteen
With plenty of real estate remaining in 2019, it’s masochistic to imagine what next year could look like. Emperor Trump? World Series champion Mariners? The mind reels! But whatever horrors might unfold in 2020, we have at least one pop culture stalwart to soothe ourselves in the post-Game of Throne...
Name Of The Year Second-Round Voting: Part 2
My move from Brooklyn to Denver this past fall came with a number of advantages: better bike trails, more snowboard runs, and fewer Yankee fans, to name a few. But one thing I wasn’t expecting to find was a city in love with rodeo. The yeehaw agenda has been in full swing since long before Lil Nas X...
Name Of The Year Second-Round Voting Is Now Open
New Yorkers wishing to visit, or travel through, New Jersey have plenty of options. Among them are bridges: the George Washington, named after, um, George Washington; the Goethals, named after ... George Washington Goethals; and, finally, the Outerbridge Crossing. It is not named for the first presi...
It's Time To Run Down The 2019 Name Of The Year Bracket
Stipulate first that, when it comes to the annual Name of the Year Bracket, there are no winners, no losers, and no wrong answers. Every one of the names in the bracket—the psychedelic syllable pileups, the brazen onomatopoeias, the pokerfaced puns, all of them—is blessed, and a blessing in turn. Th...
Name Of The Year First Round: Chrotchtangle Regional
Today we’re talking about that famous heavy-duty generic paper-based product we all know and love. That’s right, folks, it’s cardboard time. You can fold it, you can recycle it, and lord knows you can corrugate it. But can you … Smurfit?...
Name Of The Year First Round: Dragonwagon Regional
Dragonwagon Regional namesake Crescent Dragonwagon is up front about her name: She changed it from Ellen Zolotow when she was a 16-year-old counterculture bride. But the corners of the internet that supply our bracket fodder don’t always offer such clarity. This year’s Dragonwagon contenders contain...
Name Of The Year First Round: Sithole Regional
You could probably think of a famous Johnny with Google-like quickness. Johnny Appleseed. Johnny Cash. Johnny Bench. Wikipedia lists dozens of notable Johnnys, and beyond that dozens more fictional Johnnys. Perhaps you even have a beloved Johnny in your life. An uncle or a cousin? Or maybe you’re a ...
Name Of The Year First Round: Bulltron Regional
Vinay Pimplé doesn’t need your sympathy....
Presenting The 2019 Name Of The Year Bracket
Last August, the NCAA unveiled the NET ranking, a comprehensive synthesis of numbers designed to supplant the much-derided RPI as the definitive metric for comparing the resumes of college basketball teams. Despite some early statistical noise, the NET’s wealth of data ultimately produced a bracket ...
Cody Rhodes, The Khans, And Chris Jericho Made Their New Promotion Official, And It Could Be Big
The news officially arrived through a pair of statements, a rally outside TIAA Bank Field, and a subsequent press junket, but the Jacksonville Jaguars owners Shahid “Shad” Khan and his son Tony made their bold new foray into the pro wrestling business official on Tuesday. The name of the new promot...
As Ring Of Honor Closes The Book On 2018, A New Startup Wrestling Promotion Looms
Ring of Honor’s year-end pay-per-view event, Final Battle, will air live on Friday night from the Hammerstein Ballroom at the Manhattan Center in New York City. It’s become one of the biggest events in independent wrestling, but there’s more intrigue around it than usual this year, as it looks likel...
This Is Too Many Stuffed Toys
I liked stuffed toys. I had a bunch when I was little and despite being 35, I still have Doggy—a stuffed toy that is older than I am, and which is missing its nose and one eye, and also may actually be a rabbit. I had to learn to sew to re-attach Doggy’s head recently....
WWE’s Cage Matches Have Way Too Much Interference
It had been a long PPV—WWE’s Hell in a Cell 2018 clocked in at 3 hours, 40 minutes and 48 seconds plus a pre-show with a match—and by the time the main event was over, what should have been a thrilling match was bogged down by an exhausting parade of interference. ...
Uganda's Answer To Rob Ford Is Somehow Even Less Athletic<em></em>
Moses Ali is the 79-year-old first deputy prime minister of Uganda. He is also enormously fat and wildly unathletic. Following in the footsteps of another politician who possessed a considerable girth and a dearth of athleticism, Ali embarrassed himself while trying to execute a routine physical mot...
Rick Ankiel, Who Could And Then Couldn't, Might<em></em>
We should begin with the important stuff. There is a league that plays at Louisville Slugger Stadium, in Louisville, over the course of a brief eight-team tournament held at the height of summer. It’s called the Bluegrass World Series, and seven of the teams in its field have rosters made up of coll...
Jon Heyman's Fingers Are Interfering With His MLB Scoops<em></em>
Fancred baseball scoopster Jon Heyman was either overwhelmed by the Brewers’ trade for reliever Joakim Soria, or his fingers were covered in Horsey sauce, because he had a lot of trouble reporting out the transaction....
The Passion Of Dr. Narwhals Mating
With Drew still loose in the rustic wilds of Maine—we have received credible and deeply disturbing reports of him scampering up scenic mountains and devouring crustacean-centric meals in ways that horrified bystanders—the Deadcast casts its gaze back upon past glory this week. There’s a lot of glory...
Youth Lacrosse Coach Gets His Team All Rowdy With Pregame Speech About <i>Fortnite</i>
While some lacrosse coaches might rend their garments over their players’ obsessions with the video game Fortnite, others are using it to their advantage. A reader sent in this clip of a Pennsylvania eighth-grade lacrosse coach who last weekend gave a pregame speech full of popular references to pum...
Jason Heyward, Of All People, Finally Got To Josh Hader
Listen, it is illegal to exhibit any sort of excitement about a potential bounce-back from Jason Heyward until he actually finishes a full season with an OPS over .800. I’m sorry, but that’s just the law, and it has been the law ever since he convinced everyone that 2017 was going to be his big come...