hi Page 792 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Is Joel Embiid's Mask More Superhero Or Supervillain?
After missing a few weeks with a concussion and an orbital fracture, Joel Embiid is finally back on the floor for tonight’s Game 3 against the Heat—with a pretty sick mask, goggles included. Constructing the thing was apparently quite the project......
MMA Announcer Fucks Up Fight Decision Not Once, But Twice In The Span Of 15 Seconds<em></em>
David Booker won a decision against Elijah Terrell last night at regional MMA event Alaska Fighting Championship 139, which was good news for him. The bad news was that he only learned that he’d won after riding a true emotional roller coaster. The announcer at last night’s fights pulled a rare doub...
How Stories About Mundane Things Taking Over Locker Rooms Took Over Sports Media<em></em>
If you’ve consumed even a tiny bit of sports media in the past few years, you’ve no doubt come across a particular kind of story. It’s a lighthearted one, and the hook is something like, “Hey! Did you know that [group of athletes] are really interested in [non-sports related object or activity]? Isn...
Bill Belichick's Tiny Adorable Dog Attends Sporting Event
Meet Bill Belichick’s new puppy! The little tiny Alaskan Klee Kai is named after a Greek goddess, and he got to attend his first lacrosse game last night. Fittingly, he dressed up just like Bill....
Boston's Weather Broke Scores Of Elite Runners, But Not Old Man Abdi Abdirahman
Despite miserable weather, 95 percent of of the 27,042 common folk who started Monday’s Boston Marathon eventually crossed the finish line. The whippets up front proved less stalwart: two-thirds of the elite men’s field dropped out. One who didn’t was 41-year-old Tucson resident, Abdi Abdirahman. H...
Soccer Player Tries To Beat His Manager's Ass For Subbing Him Out Of Game
We’ve all seen players stomp off the pitch in barely suppressed anger after their manager has subbed them out of a game. A far less common sight is a player communicating his post-subbing displeasure by walking off the pitch and straight over to the coach and attempting to kick his ass:...
<i>White Men Can't Jump</i> Is A Lot Of Fun Masking What Appears To Be A Pretty Debilitating Gambling Addiction
If there’s a moral to be gleaned from White Men Can’t Jump, it’s that that if someone carrying many hundreds of dollars in cash—without a wallet in sight—challenges you to an expensive bet, it’s probably because they know something you don’t. I realize people relied on paper money more back in the ’...
Seriously, What The Hell Are The Minnesota Timberwolves Doing?
In Game 1 of the Rockets-Timberwolves series, the eighth-seeded Wolves lost in no small part because they inexplicably froze their two best players, Jimmy Butler and Karl-Anthony Towns, out of the offense. Game 2 was last night, and the Rockets won, 102-82. Here are some stats from that, courtesy of...
The Wizards Of Aughts: The Post-Millennium Washington Wizards And The Bloggers Who Immortalized Them
The late-model Washington Wizards are broadly competent, secretly mediocre, spotty, and more boring than they are not. They could be nutshelled as an equal and opposite reaction to their counterparts of a decade ago. Those Wiz teams, which weren’t better but sure were stranger, boasted a bigger coll...
I'm Pleased To Inform You That Filip Forsberg Is At It Again
When we last saw Filip Forsberg scoring for Nashville, he was putting the finishing touches on a Game 1 win against the Avalanche with a goal of pure sorcery. After a quieter two games, Forsberg’s magic has reappeared in Game 4, opening the scoring with a hurricane of a breakout goal that may have f...
Larry Nance Jr. Spikes Trevor Booker's Weak Shot Attempt Directly Into Hell
The Pacers are grinding their way back from Playoff LeBron’s personal game-opening 16-1 run, with no help from this sorry Antawn Jamison-ass quasi-hook flip shot by Indiana’s Trevor Booker, which Larry Nance Jr., acting as the living incarnation of righteous justice, pounded into the parquet so hard...
Ender Inciarte's Home-Run Robbery Was So Good It Fooled The Phillies Announcer
Braves center fielder Ender Inciarte covered a tremendous amount of ground to get to a Scott Kingery home run attempt in tonight’s Atlanta-Philly game. And even after he got to the wall in left-center, he had to stretch himself as high as possible to snag the long fly ball....
Idiot On The Pitch Tries To Tackle Ref, Fails
Oldham Athletic was playing a match against Rochdale AFC Tuesday when the referee signaled a penalty for Rochdale after a trip in the box. One Oldham fan did what any sensible person would in that situation: He ran onto the pitch and tried to tackle the referee....
Katharine Graham Was Not To Be Fucked With<em></em>
This was first published as “Pillar of the Post” in the May 20, 1976 issue of The National Observer. It appears here with the author’s permission....
Twins Minor-Leaguer Pulls Off The Hidden-Ball Trick
Bases-loaded jams can be tense, but Jermaine Curtis of the Rochester Red Wings found it to be the best opportunity to clown a baserunner. The Twins’ Triple-A affiliate was down 4-3 to the Charlotte Knights in the fourth inning Tuesday when Curtis tested out the hidden-ball trick on Kevan Smith, who ...
The Raptors Put The Wizards In The Trash, Where They Belong
The competitive part of last night’s Game 2 between the Toronto Raptors and Washington Wizards was over, long over, by the time some combination of shame and embarrassment sparked a smidgen of detectable pride or competitive intensity in any Washington player. The result was a laughably misleading ...
Capitals Somehow Manage Not To Lose An Overtime Playoff Game
It had been two games of the same script so far in the Capitals-Blue Jackets series—Washington loses on a gut punch in overtime—but tonight, the Caps themselves actually caught a bit of luck, as they survived double overtime to beat Columbus on the road in Game 3, 3-2....
Francisco Lindor Dinged A Homer In San Juan And Everyone Went Nuts
Cleveland and Minnesota are playing baseball in San Juan tonight, which marks Puerto Rico’s first meaningful MLB game since 2010. That makes this otherwise pretty random April match-up extremely meaningful for Cleveland’s most lovable player—shortstop Francisco Lindor. Lindor was born in Caguas, 20 ...