hi Page 799 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Marlins Give Up Homer On First Pitch Of Season
About 25 seconds into the baseball season, the Miami Marlins were losing....

The Phillies Need A Lefty Pitcher Who Doesn’t Mind Getting Lit Up
Even though it’s Opening Day, the Phillies are still short one left-handed pitcher....

This San Diego Radio Station Has Existed For A Month And Is Already A Disaster
At the beginning of March, Entercom announced the launch of 97.3 The Machine, a new San Diego-based station with talk shows and sports programming. It’s not even the end of the month, and The Machine has already been involved in a feud and a fuckup that might jeopardize its relationship with the Pad...

MLB Season Preview: What You Need To Know For 40 Minutes Of Marlins Baseball
Aw shit yeah, buddies, it’s Opening Day! The good kind of Opening Day, too. One of those classics on which all 30 teams—well, except for the Nats and Reds and Tigers and Pirates, because their games have already been postponed—play on the same day and it’s non-stop baseball. I do have one piece of b...

Critters Demonstrate Perfect Blocking Technique
As Valdosta State offensive line coach Jeremy Darveau points out, these beefy little creatures have a lot to teach aspiring offensive linemen:...
![Markelle Fultz Smacked Heads With Joel Embiid And Sent Him To The Locker Room [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/jcebqxzhod8uf4vlpuq6.jpg)
Markelle Fultz Smacked Heads With Joel Embiid And Sent Him To The Locker Room [Update]
Sixers rookie Markelle Fultz is currently trying to transition from being an injured dude with a busted shot to an actual real-life basketball player, but it’s been a bumpy road, and it hit another hitch in the Philly game tonight....

Report: MSU Spent Half A Million Dollars Monitoring Nassar Victims' And Journalists' Social Media Accounts
A day after William Strampel, the former dean of the osteopathic medical school at Michigan State University and the ex-boss of disgraced sexual abuser Larry Nassar, was charged with criminal sexual conduct and willful neglect of duty, the Lansing State Journal reported that MSU spent in excess of $...

Flood Of Shit Ends Spring Training For Dodgers
Dodger Stadium is full of shit. It was last night, at least....

Vlad Guerrero (Junior) Hits A Walk-Off Homer In Montreal
You could tell me that this walk-off dong is from now-Hall of Famer Vlad Guerrero’s big-league career, and my only question would probably be, “When did he play for the Blue Jays?”...

Lionel Messi Did Not Have Fun At Spain's 6-1 Drubbing Of Argentina Today
Just a couple of months before June’s World Cup begins, a next-generation Spain squad incinerated a mostly full-strength Argentina in Madrid today, riding an Isco hat trick to a 6-1 laugher. It’s only a friendly, but still, it wasn’t good, and Argentina star Lionel Messi, missing the game with a ham...

Man Awestruck By The Sight Of Ian Rapoport
It’s not every day you get to see NFL Network talent in the flesh. Ian Rapoport’s biggest fan even got in a little salute at the end—or maybe he was mimicking a cameraman telling him to get the hell out of the shot....

Now Markelle Fultz Can Begin
He wasn’t a revelation. For that matter in many ways he was pretty clunky. A handful of times last night, in his first game action since October—since some mysterious combination of shoulder injury and Steve Blass disease took away his ability to perform basketball’s most fundamental act—Markelle Fu...

Goalkeeper Tries To Pretend He Didn't Do The Incredibly Dumb Thing He Just Did
To throw a ball into one’s own net is the single worst thing a goalkeeper can do. To throw the ball into one’s own net, and for that colossal boner to not be the biggest takeaway from the incident in question, takes some serious work. So we doff our cap to this Ethiopian keeper who managed just that...
![Larry Nassar's Former Boss, William Strampel, Charged With Sexual Misconduct [Updated]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/nms1bixinapikd6g7iqj.png)
Larry Nassar's Former Boss, William Strampel, Charged With Sexual Misconduct [Updated]
William Strampel, the former dean of the osteopathic medical school at Michigan State University, has been charged with criminal sexual conduct by the Michigan attorney general’s office. Strampel supervised convicted sex offender Larry Nassar while both were employed by MSU....

Enjoy Zion Williamson's Dunks One Last Time Before He Becomes A Vile Dookie
Zion Williamson, the hefty dunking boy whose high-school exploits have been all over YouTube for what feels like a decade now, is finally ready to join the ranks of elite college basketball. Although he’s committed to Duke, he’s not officially a Blue Devil yet, which means you are free to lose your ...

Dr. William Strampel, Former Michigan State Boss Of Larry Nassar, Arrested
Dr. William Strampel—the former boss of convicted serial sexual abuser Dr. Larry Nassar and dean of the College of Osteopathic Medicine at Michigan State—was arrested this evening on undisclosed charges....

Lawyer: Michael Bennett "Never Touched" Paraplegic Stadium Worker
Michael Bennett appeared in a Houston courtroom today and posted bail on his felony charge of injury of the elderly. The charge was filed last week when prosecutors said that, in a rush to get onto the field at Super Bowl 51, Bennett pushed through a crowd and hurt a paraplegic security worker. Toda...

Markelle Fultz Shooting Form Update: Never Mind, Shot Not Ready For Actual Game
After months of working on his completely broken shooting form—making it smoother, longer, better—Markelle Fultz was declared ready for game action and came off the bench tonight for the first time since October. Here’s how his six minutes of play in the first half went: ...

Markelle Fultz Shooting Form Update: Shot Ready For An Actual Game
Over the past month, Sixers first overall pick Markelle Fultz has improved his busted-ass shooting form, not only making his shot smoother but also longer. The culmination of all that hard work came today, when the team announced Fultz will play in tonight’s game against the Nuggets. Head coach Bret...

Loyola-Chicago's Been Here Before
Loyola-Chicago punched its ticket to the Final Four on Saturday by handing out its first decisive ass-kicking of the tournament after all those heart-stopping wins. If you saw them thrash Kansas State, 78-62—or if you’d seen them eke out one win after another en route to the Elite Eight—you know the...