The Phillies Need A Lefty Pitcher Who Doesn’t Mind Getting Lit Up

Even though it’s Opening Day, the Phillies are still short one left-handed pitcher.

It’s not for a spot on the team. The Phillies put out a call Wednesday featuring manager Gabe Kapler, who told the public that the team is in need of a left-handed batting practice pitcher.

“We’re going to ask you to come in and be a strong cultural contributor,” Kapler said. “After all, we’re looking to bring a World Series championship to the city of Philadelphia.” Yes, the left-handed batting practice pitcher may be the piece that puts the Phillies, who haven’t had a winning record since 2011, over the top.

If you want to apply, you have to be 21 years old, available for all 81 Phillies home games, and a lefty who can consistently throw pitches down the center of the plate. You don’t even need baseball experience! (To note: It would be helpful.) You’ll also need to upload a video of yourself pitching.

The Phillies could likely have found a lefty BP pitcher without going public with their request but maybe they’ll find their own Vince Papale. Perhaps one day we’ll be watching a Disney movie about how some dude from Modena Park earned a World Series ring.