hi Page 799 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Usain Bolt, Aspiring Soccer Player, Scores Two Goals In His First Start
Usain Bolt’s conversion from track star to soccer player continues apace. In August, Bolt got his first taste of the footy when he came off the bench for Australian team Central Coast Mariners in a friendly match and actually acquitted himself fairly decently. He built on that performance today, mak...
You Can't Hide Eli Manning
Here’s a fun thing to think about: Has an offense with the quality of skill players that the New York Giants possess ever looked this bad? This is a team that lines up one of the best wide receivers in football, a rookie running back who treats defenders like bad guys in a Kung Fu movie, and a big, ...
Odell Beckham Jr.'s Extended Meltdown Continues
The Giants are getting flattened by the Eagles Thursday night. It’s a dismal show, bad enough that almost anyone could be forgiven for bailing on it early. But not everyone! Some people should stick around. Like, for example, Odell Beckham Jr., who was spotted marching angrily to the locker room wit...
Let Us Now Enjoy Two Thrilling USMNT Goals, Truly The Only Meaningful Events In The Colombia Friendly
The fresh and interesting Americans—also Michael Bradley was there—responded to Colombia’s first-half onslaught with a couple of goals early in the second half to take a by-God lead! And that was all that happened!...
Report: Pat Riley Called Tom Thibodeau A Motherfucker For Trying To Squeeze Him On A Jimmy Butler Trade
It’s no secret that Timberwolves coach and president of basketball operations Tom Thibodeau does not want to trade the disgruntled Jimmy Butler, since sacrificing short-term success for long-term planning is not in his own best interests. But thanks to ESPN’s Jorge Sedano, we have a really good stor...
James Rodriguez Defies The Laws Of Physics And Ruins Some American Scrubs
A squad of Team USA kids who are mostly less interesting than the American soccer boys who are currently injured—and also this guy who looks just like Michael Bradley oh God wait that’s actually somehow Michael Bradley—is getting wildly overmatched by a World Cup-caliber Colombian team in a Tampa fr...
Connor's Back
Connor McDavid got an assist on each of the Oilers’ goals in their 5-2 season-opening loss to the Devils, but heading into Edmonton’s second game—against the Bruins tonight—it had still been 196 horrible, awful days since hockey’s beautiful young stud had graced us with a goal....
Report: Police Investigating Possible Sexual Assault During Football Hazing Incident At Northern Virginia High School
Loudoun County Public Schools and the Leesburg Police Department are investigating an allegation that football players at Tuscarora High School in Leesburg, Virginia, held down and sexually assaulted a teammate during a post-practice hazing ritual earlier this month. Per a Loudoun Times-Mirror repor...
Which NBA Team Is Most Like Your Favorite NBA Team?
It’s almost time for the tip-off of the new basketball season, and you know what that means: It’s time to point out that not only does the NBA exist, but that other things also exist. A few outlets have already beaten us to the punch here, imagining NBA teams as rom-coms or TV shows or fake movies, ...
Report: Untrained Pac-12 Exec Was Allowed To Reverse Controversial Targeting Penalty
According to internal documents obtained by Yahoo Sports’ Pete Thamel, a Pac-12 executive who is not a trained official put his thumb on the scale and personally overruled what should have been a targeting penalty. On the final play of the third quarter of Washington State’s Sep. 21 loss to USC, WSU...
Khabib Nurmagomedov Threatens To Quit UFC If His McGregor-Attacking Buddy Is Fired<em></em>
One of the guys who jumped into the octagon and attacked Conor McGregor during the post-match mayhem at UFC 229 was Zubaira Tukhugov, who himself is a fighter on the UFC roster. After the match, UFC president Dana White made it clear that Tukhugov would never fight in the UFC again, and now Khabib N...
Trae Young Did A Very Trae Young Thing To Beat The Spurs
Look, I know it’s just preseason, and just a few hours ago I yelled, “You’re all freaks!” at my colleagues because they preferred to watch pointless NBA games tonight instead of a competitive Stanley Cup Final rematch. But this game-winning trey from Trae Young is worth your time, even if you’re a h...
Jimmy Butler Continues Trashing The Timberwolves And Karl-Anthony Towns In Post-Practice Interview
The Minnesota Timberwolves are having such a bad day today. It started with Jimmy Butler showing up late to practice, subbing himself into five-on-five scrimmages, and taking a gigantic shit on basically every central figure in the organization—Tom Thibodeau, Scott Layden, Andrew Wiggins, and especi...
Roger Federer Literally Couldn't Hit This Ball
Today at the Shanghai Masters, Roger Federer played his first match since he left the U.S. Open looking like he’d fallen in the pool. Federer barely survived a sharp Daniil Medvedev to win 6-4, 4-6, 6-4, but the Russian, who ripped through seven wins last week to qualify and win Tokyo, made the shot...
The Flyers' Home Opener Went So Badly, They're Swearing
Now, you pieces of shit know that I can’t abide cursing. There’s no fucking reason for an educated, grown man to resort to swear words. How goddamned bad could the Flyers’ home opener against the Sharks have been to spur not one, but two players to work blue?...Oh! Oh. Jesus fishfisting Christ. Yeah...
Game 4 Winning Pitcher: "I Thought Ángel Hernández Called A Good Game." Game 4 Losing Pitcher: "He's Absolutely Terrible."
CC Sabathia got touched up for five hits, two walks, and three runs over three lousy innings Tuesday night, and took the loss in Boston’s series-clinching win over the Yankees. Afterward, he lit up umpire Ángel Hernández, who was behind the plate in Game 4:...
Good Dog Throws A Mean Alley-Oop
Max Pearce is an extremely good dunker. He participated in the 2018 College Dunk Contest, where he threw down a memorable and pleasingly violent one-handed self-alley-oop while filming himself with a cell phone in his off hand. The website of Purchase College says Pearce has signed with the Harlem G...
Jimmy Butler Adds An Arbitrary Deadline To His Trade Demand<em></em>
Jimmy Butler, who has not practiced with the Timberwolves since September 25, still wants a trade out of Minnesota, and told head coach Tom Thibodeau as much on Monday, The Athletic reported today....
Good Dog Interrupts Soccer Match, Is Rudely Denied Belly Rubs
Many dogs have invaded soccer pitches in the past, but few have made clear their motivations for doing so. This was not the case during a soccer match in Georgia, where a friendly dog ran onto the field with a clear goal in mind: to score some rubs on his belly....
Former NFL Linebacker's Solution For The Struggling Eagles: Hump Less
The Eagles are 2-3, but fortunately for them, their division sucks. Former NFL linebacker and Philly news anchor Garry Cobb has a suggestion to get the team back on track: Don’t let the players fuck....