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Ed And Steve Sabol: The NFL Dream Machine
Today gives the start of the NFL season. What better place to start than Rich Cohen's excellent portrait of Ed and Steve Sabol? The league as we know it is hard to imagine without them. Published last October in the Atlantic, here's "They Taught America How to Watch Football":...

How To Pair Wine With Food: A Guide For Ordinary Drunkards
"Ew, I wouldn't date him. He's a Sauvignon blanc drinker!"...

The Best Recipes And Tips You've Sent In So Far, Scum
This Labor Day weekend, as you well know and have indicated on all of your calendars, both paper and e-, marks the first anniversary of Foodspin—and, while this is not the precise reason why many of you will receive an extra day off from work tomorrow, it is the reason why you have clung to life lon...

How To Barbecue Ribs: A Guide For The Perplexed
Pork ribs are to Serious Barbecue—which is something distinct from the burgers-and-dogs routine for which your average Suburban Dad-type unfurls his "Kiss The Cook" apron on the odd sunny July weekend—what the four-seam fastball is to pitching....

How To Cook Bivalves, The Life-Affirming Pain In The Ass
Listen. Life is hard. You're tired all the time, you're overworked and underpaid, you never have enough time for anything and no one loves you and your hair, seriously, what are you even going for with that look, because it is not working. Most evenings, it's all you can do to doze off into a bow...

How To Make A Decent Goddamn Margarita, For Once
People avoid all sorts of boozes for all sorts of reasons. Maybe you're too broke for Scotch or too smug for vodka. Maybe beer bloats and disappoints you. Perhaps the smell of bourbon reminds you of Grandpa's special beatin' shoe. Or maybe you're like I used to be, and you associate tequila with fr...

How (And Why) To Poach Eggs: A Guide For The Haggard
Poaching eggs is a bit more complicated and delicate—these are nice ways of saying annoying—than frying them or scrambling them or hard-boiling them or throwing them at Rick Reilly, and so the question of how to poach them kinda naturally goes with the question of why to poach them. The true answer...

How To Drink Champagne Without Becoming Even More Broke Than Usual
Let me begin with an uninformed and yet almost certainly accurate assumption: you drink champagne at most twice a year, one of which is the perfunctory glass on New Year's Eve that you end up blaming for your hangover the next morning instead of the 14 Red Bull vodkas you blasted between 1 and 3 a.m...

How To Make Pesto, Using That Terrifying Basil Plant On Your Sill
Hey, remember back in the spring, when your significant other or roommate or own tragic propensity for impulsive decision-making came with you to the supermarket and got all, "Oooh, hydroponic basil plants!" and you bought one and took it home and planted it in a big orange bucket, your head swimmin...

How To Make A Goddamn Omelet
You go to a greasy-spoon diner or an obnoxious chain pancake joint or a seedy meth-scented Waffle House, and you order an omelet. Well, OK, you don't order an omelet—you order a giant chocolate-chip pancake with a smiley face drawn in whipped cream, and then you drown it in pink, berry-flavored c...

How To Drink At Weddings Without Making An Ass Of Yourself
I'm going to a wedding in Delaware in a few weeks, because aren't we all. I was very excited about this adventure when I thought Delaware was in the South—I've never been to the South—but it turns out Delaware's just off to the right of Maryland. So now I'm merely regular excited, because even thoug...

Taste Test: The Ruffles Ultimate Line, Which You Must Never Eat, Ever
Do not eat the Ruffles Ultimate chips and dips. Do not eat them. Don't ever eat them. Ever. They are awful, disgusting, hateful garbage; if they were a prank, no sane person in full possession of his or her faculties would ever fall for them. Don't eat them. Never eat them. Not ever. Never. ...

How To Deep-Fry Soft-Shell Crabs (Yes, Dammit, Deep-Fry Them)
Deep-frying is bullshit. It's messy and labor-intensive and user-unfriendly. It requires a ton of oil, most of which will be wasted, plus—most of the time anyway—dumb annoying messy crap like egg wash and flour and breadcrumbs. In its worst, most diabolical incarnations, it even requires friggin...

How To Make Kebabs, Because You Like To Stab Things And Play With Fire
You dusted off your crummy charcoal grill way back in April, and by now, through all the contrived family gatherings that are really just flimsy pretexts for playing with fire, you've already run through your basic repertoire of grilled foods: chicken thighs and chicken breasts and steak and lobste...

Two Ways To Make Alfredo Sauce So Rich It'll Stop Your Heart
So you've decided to end your life, or at least the segment of your life during which you could walk from here to there without your chest making sounds like a whirring blender full of silverware. Because that is the only conceivable reason why you would choose to make Alfredo sauce, which, scientif...

How To Make Pizza And Infuriate Regional Snobs
Albert Burneko is off. Your guest Foodspin columnist today is longtime Deadspinner David Hume....

Help! My Balls Smell!
Jolie Kerr is a cleaning expert and advice columnist. She'll be here every other week helping to answer your filthiest questions. Are you dirty? Email her....

How To Make A Peach Cobbler So Good You'll Cry
Maybe you don't think of yourself as someone who makes dessert. Maybe you think of dessert as a spoon and a tub of Ben & Jerry's, or a bowl of fruit, or maybe you just don't eat dessert at all because it makes more "sense" to just "eat dinner until you're not hungry anymore" and you "don't want dia...

Taste Test: Uncrustables. What Does The Crustless PB&J Say About Us?
One of parenthood's myriad challenges, as any parent will attest, is finding the time in one's overscheduled, playdate- and tedious-errand-choked day to make weirdo peanut-butter-and-jelly-stuffed pierogi to foist upon our frightened and sobbing children. Thankfully, somebody at The J.M. Smucker Co...

Help! My Couch Is Humiliating!
Jolie Kerr is a cleaning expert and advice columnist. She'll be here every other week helping to answer your filthiest questions. Are you dirty? Email her....