how-to Page 12 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
How To Eat Your Leftovers: A Guide For Slobs
The morning following Thanksgiving is a bleary, cotton-mouthed, dead-eyed time—a time for questions, a time of Reckoning. "Oh, Jesus, how much did I drink yesterday?" and, "Am I going to die?" and, "Why do I keep doing this to myself?" and, "Am I in Fort Worth? How did I come to be in Fort Worth?" T...
Eating: A Strategic Guide
How does one eat a Thanksgiving meal? On its face this might seem like a ridiculous question, and also everywhere else too. I mean, who doesn't know how to eat? (Excepting the British, of course.) Thanksgiving is marked, more than anything else, by its abundance of tasty foodstuffs; practically spea...
How To Improvise A Last-Minute Feast: A MacGyver's Guide To Thanksgiving
Oh, shit. Thanksgiving is here? Already?...
How To Make A Thanksgiving Side Dish: A Guide For Slackers And Overgrown Children
So Thanksgiving is right around the corner, and if you're lucky, somebody the hell else is hosting it. Lost amid all the talk in recent years of various turkey-cooking methods—the relative merits of roasting versus deep-frying; whether to brine the bird or cook it upside down or baste it every few f...
How To Make A Meatloaf That Doesn't Suck: A Guide For Unrefined Hedonists
It seems fair to say that meatloaf does not enjoy the very best reputation among foodstuffs. You tend to think of it as something harried parents make, and when their kids ask what's for dinner and are told, they say, "Aw, meatloaf?" and then smother it in ketchup and glumly pick at it with their fo...
How To Make Nachos: A Guide For The Daring
You go to a ballpark or amusement park or carnival and ask for some nachos, and you get a plastic tub with three compartments: a large one holding a fistful of tortilla chips, and smaller ones holding, respectively, molten cheese-food and a tablespoon of canned dog food that you are obliged to prete...
How To Improvise A Meal Out Of Whatever Crap You Have In Your Pantry: A Guide For Ill-Prepared Hurricane Shut-Ins
By now you’ve taken all the standard hurricane precautions—closing the drapes, double-checking to make sure you have an umbrella in your coat closet, duct-taping your pets to the walls, and so on—but you’re at a loss when it comes to the most important challenge of a natural disaster: what to do wit...
How To Eat Halloween Candy: A Guide And A Power Ranking For Sad Adults
That the Snickers bar is the best of all candy bars is a point so obvious and unassailable that it needn't be argued here. What's odd and paradoxical-seeming, and thus noteworthy, is that its superiority is the precise reason why the Snickers is not the best candy bar for Halloween. That is to say, ...
How To Sleep Train A Selfish Baby
When you have a new child, you have only one priority in life, one that takes precedence over procuring food, finding a job, or anything else: getting the child to sleep through the night. Everything you do with a baby beforehand—feeding it, putting it on a schedule, repeatedly throwing the baby up ...
How To Make French Toast: A Guide For People Who Are Not Insane
Let's make French toast!...
How To Drink Red Bull Total Zero: Not At All
The first thing you notice about the experience of drinking Red Bull Total Zero is the dread: ice-cold, sweaty-palm dread, bone deep, and you're still at least a half-hour away from popping the top and actually swallowing the stuff. ...
How To Make Chili: A Guide For People Who Aren't Anti-Bean Zealots Or Elitist Scum
It's weird that we fight about chili. ...
How To Eat The New Candy Corn Oreo (Which Isn't As Gross As It Sounds)
Candy corn, folks at home: candy corn sucks. This is neither an ideological nor a conceptual complaint; that is to say, candy corn sucks not because it (almost certainly) originated in some steamy, foul-smelling, nightmarish industrial wasteland, or because it is artificially flavored, or because i...
How To Make A Salad That Doesn't Suck: A Guide For The Nutritionally Unvirtuous
Even the more willing salad-eaters among us tend to think of salad as the culinary equivalent of floss, i.e. as a depressing incarnation of grim, miserable healthfulness wagging a finger of admonishment from the most boring sector of the table. At family functions, you scoop some onto your plate wit...
How To Eat A Popeye's Biscuit: A Guide For People Seeking The Harmony Of The Universe
Consider the Popeye's biscuit....
How To Barbecue Chicken Thighs: A Guide For People Who Aren't Assholes
So it's Labor Day weekend, the holiday that offers up togetherness and honoring American labor as flimsy pretexts for men across the land to stand next to fire, poking things. ...
How To Crip Walk: A Guide To Serena Williams's Very American Gold Medal Celebration
Maybe you've heard that Serena Williams, the greatest female American tennis player of all time, did a controversial dance after winning gold in singles at the Olympics over the weekend....
How To Burp Like A World Champ In 5 Steps, Featuring Competitive Eater And Burping World Champ Tim Janus
The results from the 2011 Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest tell us that Tim "Eater X" Janus is the third-best hot-dog eater in the world. He owns world records for speed-eating burritos, sushi, and ramen noodles....
How To Fold A Fajita Without Looking Like Some Sort Of Dumbass
Oh, fajitas. Oh, how I adore you. The way you arrive at my table still sizzling on a metal platter. The way the waiter warns me to NEVER touch that metal platter, or else all my nerve endings will detonate. The way the steam comes up from the tortillas once I've lifted the lid on the tortilla-holder...
An Instructional Video On How To Pretend To Hit A Forehand Like Rafael Nadal
This is cool, if you're a tennis player/fan, or just a fellow lefty who believes in the general supremacy of lefties. Rafael Nadal hits his forehand with an average topspin of 3,200 RPMs, which is more than any human to ever play the game of tennis. The New York Times explains how he does it. [NYT]...