i Page 8472 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
See You Later, Whizzinator
You know, if you're an NFL running back, and you get caught at an airport with any sort of a prosthetic penis, it's probably a good idea to also be a very, very, good running back. Otherwise, anytime you're ever mentioned for any reason, someone's going to bring up your rubber dong. I will now demon...
Justice For Barry Bonds
A little upset that Jason Grimsley had been stealing his thunder, Barry Bonds is back in the headlines. He's dropped his lawsuit against Mark Fainaru-Wada and Lance Williams, authors of "Game of Shadows," a book that contained parts of his grand jury testimony. The lawsuit was intended to stop the...
Federer Remains Nadal's Bitch
Rafael Nadal further cemented his place as the world's greatest athlete in capri pants by beating Roger Federer in the finals of the French Open this morning, 1-6, 6-1, 6-4, 7-6 (4). And in celebration, not settling for a simple kiss of the French Open trophy, he attempted to perform fellatio on it....
Robben Ignites The Dutch Oven
It was the Arjen Robben show this morning for the Netherlands, as they took down Serbia and Montenegro by a score of 1-0. He was a pain in many S&M asses this morning, controlling the ball, creating plays, and scoring the day's only goal. Serbia and Montenegro had their chances, but came up with s...
For Your Sunday Afternoon Viewing Pleasure...
1:00, CBS: Formula One Racing. British Grand Prix. A high-speed race, contested entirely on the left-hand side of the road. 1:00, Disney: Movie: Air Bud, Golden Receiver. Catch some vintage Air Bud action, before he started accusing his quarterbacks of being gay and getting tired during the Super ...
About Last Night...
• NHL Stanley Cup Finals: Carolina 1, Edmonton 2. Well, when you can't figure anything else out, just plow into the goalie and hope for the best. Seems like it's a series now....
Lord Stanley Sashays Over To NBC
In case you haven't noticed (and judging by the ratings, you haven't *), the Carolina Hurricanes have opened up a 2-0 lead against the Edmonton Oilers in the Stanley Cup Finals. The series moves back to Edmonton (and back to network television) this evening....
To Watch Tonight...
• NHL Stanley Cup Finals: Carolina Hurricanes @ Edmonton Oilers. "I don't get OLN" is no longer an acceptable excuse not to watch. So you'll need to come up with another one. 8:00, NBC. • NASCAR: Busch Series, Federated Auto Parts 300. And "I wanted to watch the NASCAR race" is not going to do, eith...
Arrrrgh. Angry Pirates. Fans.
Some pissed-off Pirate Fans are mad as hell, and... well, they probably don't have any choice but to continue taking it. They can start a website and a club, though, to band together and express their anger with Pirates management. It's at IrateFans.com, which is PirateFans.com, without the P. Get i...
Leftovers...
• A plea from a fantasy baseball owner that would like you to get out to your local ballpark and heckle the players on his fantasy team. [McSweeneys]...
Another World Cup Visit...
• Argentina 2-1 Côte d'Ivoire. A fine game with a lot of chances for both teams, but Côte d'Ivoire was unable to pull it out. Drogba gave them a goal in the 82nd minute, and it was frantic for a while, but they couldn't get the equalizer. And Argentina looked sharp, getting first-half goals from Sav...
Favre, Jeter, Kobe, Barry... All Your Favorites
Harris Interactive conducts a poll every year to determine America's favorite athletes. Michael Jordan has occupied the top spot every year since 1993, but this year, Tiger Woods shoved him out of there like Bryon Russel, and Tiger took MJ's top spot. I guess the people of America really loved tha...
Let's Get French For A Second
Justine Henin-Hardenne beat Svetlana Kuznetsova 6-4, 6-4 this morning to win her third Freedom French Open, and her second in a row. It is the fifth Grand Slam win of her career....
In This Case, We Have Quite Enough Cowbell, Thank You
I wasn't lucky enough to see the World Cup's opening ceremonies yesterday, but according to The Sun Online, I missed a hell of a show. The three-paragraph article uses the words "dingalings," "dongers," and "clangers." It's so rare that you see that in any of our newspapers, and I think that's the...
Checking In With The Copa Mundial...
• Trinidad & Tobago 0-0 Sweden. T&T goalkeeper Shaka Hislop was like a vintage Patrick Roy out there, making save after save, helping little Trinidad & Tobago earn the unlikely point against the yellow-clad Swedes. Shaka, who, according to ABC's Dave Revsine, played at Howard University and interned...
For Your Saturday Afternoon Viewing Pleasure...
1:00, ESPNU: College Baseball. College of Charleston vs. Georgia Tech. I'm not sure that this game can live up to the storied football rivalry between these two schools. 1:00, FOX: MLB. Oakland A's @ New York Yankees. Giambi's dealers back in Oakland... who do they root for? They must be torn. 2:0...
About Last Night...
• MLB: Phillies 8, Nationals 9. Twelve innings and thirteen pitchers used in this one. The 10,000th fan in the building today gets to throw the 9th inning for the Nationals....
Week In Review: Life Begins At 45
• Come party with Carl Lewis. • Victor Conte likes to bring the rock. • Who would have thought Jim Bob Cooter capable of such a thing? • It's the NBA Finals, and we can never get enough of our man Mark Cuban. • So did Frank Solich dope himself, or didn't he? • It's ant soccer! • Rick Reilly, stand...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as Russell Crowe heaves a phone in your general direction ... • Boxing: Welterweights, Brian Minto vs. Danny Batchelder, at Atlantic City. [ESPN2] • College baseball: NCAA Division I, super regionals: Game 1, North Carolina vs. Alabama [ESPN]; Game 1, Missouri vs. Cal State Fullerton [...
Terrell Owens, Symbol For The Youth
You know, this is the NBA Finals, the World Cup, the start of some obviously exciting baseball pennant races and, of course, ant soccer. One would think it would be our one Terrell Owens-free time of the year....