In This Case, We Have Quite Enough Cowbell, Thank You

I wasn't lucky enough to see the World Cup's opening ceremonies yesterday, but according to The Sun Online, I missed a hell of a show. The three-paragraph article uses the words "dingalings," "dongers," and "clangers." It's so rare that you see that in any of our newspapers, and I think that's the problem with American journalism.

From what I can gather, guys dressed as German farmers had huge bells attached to their belts, the bells covering their masculine areas. Some pelvic thrusting followed, and evidently, so did some fan confusion.

Fifa insisted organisers hadn't dropped any clangers. A spokesman said: "I assure you it was entertainment. They weren't part of an S&M party or anything."

Probably not a good sign when you have to make it clear that your opening ceremony was not actually an "S&M party." There were also male dancers clad in leather shorts, hopping around, slapping their thighs and ankles. Leave it to the Germans. Bring on the fluggegecheimen!

We're bells of the ball [Online Sun]