in Page 4009 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

What Will Be The Next Health-Oriented Ballpark Promotion?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think....

With Endless Love, We Left You Sleeping. Now We're Sleeping With You. Don't Wake Up.
He was full of plans. Have you got any plans, Jim? Do you want us to find a cure and save the world, or just fall in love and fuck? Plans are pointless. Staying alive's as good as it gets....

Blue Jays, You've Done It Again
What's coming up in the world of minor league baseball ... we proudly give you Rick Chandler's Minor Enterprise!...

NHL Stanley Cup Pants Party: Red Wings Vs. Ducks
We have always found it amusing that Anaheim decided to take the positive modifier "Mighty" out of its name; we know they wanted to avoid the Disney context, but usually when there's a "Fighting" or a "Runnin'" in there, it's supposed to be a good thing. Now they are Ducks, simply Ducks....

You Will Honor "God Bless America," Or The Yankees Will Have You Shot
We want to make this absolutely clear: We love America. We love it. We love the freedom to speak our mind, we love we are allowed to wear American flag underpants, we love that we can super size any combo meal, regardless of which sandwich we choose. We love it here....

Who's Sorry Now? Curt Schilling Edition
The Curt Schilling/Barry Bonds Tempest in a Specimen Cup took another odd turn on Wednesday, as friends and loved ones of the Red Sox pitcher hastily organized an intervention on his behalf. On Tuesday Schilling lit into Bonds, with the famous "He admitted to cheating on his wife, cheating on his ta...

The Airing Of Grievances: Curt Schilling Edition
It kind of makes sense that with Curt Schilling pitching only every fifth day, he would then have four days left over for complaining. First on his list is Barry Bonds. When asked on WEEI's "Dennis and Callahan" radio show if he thinks Bonds' home run totals are tainted, Schilling said:...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while attending a wake for all of your old REM cassette tapes ... • NBA: A cut above ... Suns even series with Spurs 1-all. • MLB: Beckett! Red Sox 9, Blue Jays 2. • Tennis: Claymation ... Federer advances at Rome Masters....

Kevin Kolb Will Cut You
For this still wondering why the Eagles used their first draft choice on a quarterback, this might shed some light on the situation: Kevin Kolb really loves stabbing and gutting wild pigs....

Floyd Mayweather, Preparing For Rain
After his loss to Floyd Mayweather on Saturday night, Oscar de la Hoya likely went home, drank some tea, filed some financial papers, played with his kid, maybe reviewed some business endeavors. Mayweather, on the other hand, did something else entirely....

Today In Poor Gambling Decisions
Among grand, innovative ideas in the annals of gambling on horse racing, this is not one of the better ones....

Great Moments In Foul Ball Retrieval
As we continue to try to come to terms with the gruesome spectacle that is the 2007 St. Louis Cardinals, we note that, these days, even the ballboys are afraid of the baseball....

Turn Your Head, Order A Beer And Cough
The Milwaukee Brewers continue to outclass the rest of the National League Central — particularly that sullen goop currently residing in last place — but they're not resting on their laurels and ignoring their diehards. The Brewers truly care about their fans' well-being and longterm health, and to ...

How Not To Ride In A Golf Cart
It's a beautiful day in New York City today, and though we don't golf, it does seem like a lovely afternoon to be on a golf course. Particularly for a ride in golf cart. Drunk. What could possibly go wrong?...

Mariners 3, Yankees 2: Major League Baseball Regrets The Error
Notes on a day in baseball:...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while trying to catch Ferris Bueller in the act ... • MLB: Division title brewing? Milwaukee 3, Washington 0. • NHL: Red Wings cause Sharks to go extinct, 2-0. • NBA: Second City ... Pistons clobber Bulls once again, 108-87....

Floyd Mayweather Gets His Frito Bandito On
Because of the bad people at Time Warner Cable in New York City, we were unable to order the Mayweather-De La Hoya fight Saturday night — the customer service guy, obviously beaten down by talking to countless frustrated customers like us, actually thanked us for not yelling at him — but from all ac...

Where The Hell Is Carl Monday?
Remember the old days, when the bus driver who drove you and your school friends to the ball game just masturbated with his hand? Now they're using mechanical devices and popping pills ... it's just like everything else in baseball; cheating is rampant. All the records are tainted....

It's Important That You Remember That Roger Clemens Is Your Savior
Last week, Curt Schilling was accused of self-aggrandizing ego worship for supposedly painting blood on his sock, or whatever it was. Schilling's impassioned defense of his own heroism was both absolutely correct — the man has a right to defend himself against false claims — and completely fitting, ...

Not Bad, Oscar
Amazing. A heavily-promoted pay-per-view fight that left the fans standing and cheering at the end, without a great amount of controversy. Hm. They should try that again sometime....