in Page 4012 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Matt Millen May Not Have Screwed This Up
The Detroit Lions, with the 2nd overall pick, take Calvin Johnson, WR, Georgia Tech. Mike Tanier of Football Outsiders tells you all about it....

Painting The Inside Corner
• We don't trust anything that bleeds for eight innings and doesn't die. • Michael Jordan, enjoying himself. • Michael Vick loves all of God's creatures. Well, the ones that win, anyway. • Goodbye, David Halberstam. • Does LAT health insurance cover this? • Seriously, kid, walk it off. • Alex Rodrig...

Time For 12 Hours Of Names Being Read Aloud!
We will never forget last year's NFL Draft, when poor Matt Leinart suddenly realized he'd been drafted by The Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals. We look forward to a similar reaction from Wisconsin offensive lineman Joe Thomas tomorrow, who might just jump off his fishing boat and try to drown h...

What Will be the Next Sportswriter Confession?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think....

Communism Was Merely A Red Herring
Monkey brains, although popular in Cantonese cuisine, is not often to be found in Washington D.C....

Minor Enterprise: Hey, Kids! It's Blowie!
What's coming up in the world of minor league baseball ... we proudly give you Rick Chandler's Minor Enterprise!...

Misguided Sports Sartorial Decisions
Just Call Me Juice is doing a clever series in which they ask readers to tell the stories of their most embarrassing, rueful jersey purchases. Unsilent Majority keeps the series going with his gruesome tale of buying a Steve Spurrier Redskins jersey (with the number he wore as a player), though we d...

Michael Jordan Ready To Bag Champaign Coeds
Beware, Alpha Phis gallivanting around at Kam's or C.O.'s: Michael Jordan's gonna hit your campus soon, and he doesn't care for your "no cigar smoking inside" rules....

The NBA Is So Damned Cool Sometimes
You know what the NBA Finals needs more of? Douchebags!...

Lakers Make It Just Interesting Enough To Ultimately Disappoint
In a way, we kind of agree with what Free Darko wrote in their playoff preview for us: This could end up being the one playoff series in which, if the Lakers lose, Kobe Bryant might get a pass. But he's not gonna be able to pull it off if the Lakers, you know, actually make it close. A four-game swe...

If You're Not Drafted Saturday, Friends, Don't Worry!
Before anyone gets too excited about the draft this Saturday, the Hall Of Fame Magazine cautions you to remember some of the great NFLers who were never even drafted. They include:...

"No, I Said HOLD The Mayo!"
According to CNN, the five most dangerous jobs in America are:...

Curt Schilling Accused Of Being Self-Aggrandizing. Really.
We're not sure it matters, ultimately, whether or not Curt Schilling, as Gary Thorne famously (and obliviously) claimed last evening, actually painted blood on his sock in the 2004 World Series. We don't think he did, and his performance was rather amazing either way, but Schilling has always seemed...

One Terrifying Ebay Discovery, A Few Months Later
So all you want to do is go to see your beloved Georgia Bulldogs play in the Chick-fil-A Peach Bowl against the Virginia Tech Hokies. You hop on eBay and buy a pair of tickets, go to the game and watch your team win. All is well....

The Royals Can't Even Accept Charity Anymore
Is Torii Hunter about to be banned by Major League Baseball for the next three years? Well, probably not, but he certainly could be....

OK, Get Up, Walk It Off
We don't mean to imply that maybe four-year-olds shouldn't be on the field during college football scrimmages ... but yipes....

Identifying Some Of The Unattractive Men In Sports
The consensus seems to be that FC Barcelona's Ronaldinho is a beautiful athlete to watch ... as long as you don't allow your gaze to venture above his neck. It's great to watch him, but you might not want to really look at him. Sort of the opposite of Sue Bird....

Week In Deadspin: Projectiles In Boston
• In Fenway they throw pizza, and in Toronto they throw beer. • Kids, this is what happens when you aren't good at soccer. • Pete Carroll is in much better shape than Will Ferrell. • Free Darko took us into the playoffs. • Bud Selig solves all racial inequality. • No-hitters are the best. • "Hey, ca...

The Dance That Killed The WNBA
This is old, obviously, but still: It's Friday....

He's Not Our Dad! He's Our Stepdad!
Did you know that on several occasions... he touched us? [long pause] That wasn't true. Made it up. Shouldn't have done that. Sorry....