in Page 4095 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

A Beer Gut For A Beer City
We know it hasn't been the most productive offseason for our beloved St. Louis Cardinals, and we feared they would, in the face of growing public criticism in the face of a new stadium, make a rash deal just to say they're doing something. But jeez: We didn't think they'd start paying guys by the ...

We're Going To Resist A "Giving Him Blue Balls" Joke
See that? That's a Christmas ornament as designed by Colts quarterback Peyton Manning for the Alive Hospice. It's kind of cute, a hand-drawn little angel. Other ornaments featured on the site include designs by Amy Grant, LeAnn Rimes, Tennessee governor Phil Bredesen and, yes, country music croone...

Sweet Lord, Let Him Not Be Kidding
Last week, Cincinnati Bengals wide receiver Chad Johnson disappointed us — and pretty much every sports fan we know — by scoring a touchdown and simply handing the ball back to the ref....

Year In Review: June
The year is almost over. All the magazines are doing year-in-review type stuff, so we figured, why should we be any different? Therefore, for the next 12 days, we will be looking back on each month on the calendar, pointing out the weird/important/amusing stuffs that happened that month. Deadspin ...

You're Doing A Heckuva Job, Ticey
Imagine, if you will, Ron Artest blasting fans for getting in fights, or Damon Stoudamire organizing a protest against High Times, or Fred Smoot screaming at those who would use contraptions to "please" two women who happened to be lying prostrate on the deck of a boat. Hypothetically speaking....

Fred Smoot Is Depressed
Well, here's a surprise: Vikings cornerback Fred Smoot has had a little different first year with the Vikings than he initially thought he would. (Not to be crude, but, uh, "holding a double-headed dildo and moving the dildo while each end was inserted into the vagina of two women" is a phrase tha...

Year In Review: May
The year is almost over. All the magazines are doing year-in-review type stuff, so we figured, why should we be any different? Therefore, for the next 12 days, we will be looking back on each month on the calendar, pointing out the weird/important/amusing stuffs that happened that month. Deadspin ...

How 'Bout That Darrell Armstrong?!
We've always wondered what would happen if we ended up a semi-prominent public figure in, say, Chicago, or Iowa City, Iowa. As lifelong Cardinals and Illini boosters, it would be impossible for us to hide our loyalties; we couldn't pretend to root for the Cubs or the Hawkeyes even if our livelihoo...

When In Trouble, Go After Magic
In the midst of his take-me-back contrition tour, Indiana Pacers small forward Ron Artest spoke to an Indianapolis radio station on Friday. Artest was asked his thoughts on Magic Johnson's recent comments that Artest didn't deserve a second chance....

Professor Irvin's Class Is In Session
The Miami Herald points us in the direction of something that was new to us: The Michael Irvin Academic Resource Academy. Irvin recently dedicated the "learning center" in Ft. Lauderdale, and whatever our thoughts about Irvin, it's difficult to find much fault in the gesture. Its goal is to help "...

The Vikings Meet The Seventh Floor Crew
Sometimes, someone comes up with a concept that's so perfectly in our sweet spot that we can merely stand up and salute, and that's really saying something, because we spend the whole day on our ass....

Boxing's Sad March to Oblivion
We have to admit we were a bit intrigued by the boxing headline this morning, "Angry Ruiz wants rematch after losing to giant." (Made us skip right over the "Centaur wins fifth race at Pimlico" story). It turns out that, indeed, American John Ruiz lost by decision to 7-foot Russian Nikolay Valuev ...

The Mind Of The Kentucky Fan
It's noon on a Saturday, you're a junior at the University of Kentucky and the game starts in two hours. You'll be close enough to the court that, if you hit just the right point, you could be on the TV. It's time to make your voice heard by the masses. But what to say? What to say?...

NFL Roundup: Sad Colts, Happy Bolts
• We'll confess, we were actually kind of rooting for the Colts not to finish 16-0. Not because we have anything against them — we don't, save for maybe a suspicion that Edgerrin James did a guest spot on the seventh floor crew — but because we will never have faith in Tony Dungy and Peyton Chessn...

To Watch Tonight...
• NFL. Atlanta @ Chicago. If you'd like to watch a quality football game sometime over the next 36 hours, I suggest you enjoy this one. The Monday Night game is Baltimore vs. Green Bay. • NHL. San Jose @ Anaheim. It's always fun when Original Six teams go at it. Wait, San Jose and Anaheim weren't Or...

Clearing The 4 o'clock Table...
• Cleveland 9, Oakland 7. If you watched this one, you're a diehard Browns fan, a diehard Raiders fan, or a person with severe emotional problems, and I'm worried about you. Let's get you some help. • Bengals 41, Detroit 17. Even Chad Johnson knows that it's bad form to celebrate the mundane accom...

The Severe Beating of the Dallas Cowboys
The Redskins are beating the Cowboys in just about every possible way that a team can be beaten. You have to wonder how all of our lives would be different if more of the original cowboy vs. Native American matchups had gone this way in the early history of our nation....

FIRE MILLEN
Sorry about the headline, I just felt left out. Everyone else is chanting it or holding a sign. I wanted to join the parade....

So, A Bit Of A Correction...
This is the first correction I've had to post here. It's a little bit of a landmark for me, so I'm kind of proud, though it's probably best if it doesn't become a trend....

Clearing The 1 o'clock Table...
• Chargers 26, Colts 17. This advice may be a little late, but I really think Tony Dungy should've rested people this week. • Pittsburgh 18, Minnesota 3. Pretty poor performance at home today by the Vikings, especially in a game they needed. They went down like Bryant McKinnie. • Seahawks 28, Titans...