“Where are you going? Heaven or hell?” asked a billboard beside a typically dull stretch of Interstate 65 halfway from Chicago to Indianapolis. Twenty miles south came another sign, this one more urgent than the last, a warning spelled out in white block type against a black background: “HELL IS REAL.”
A hail-mary apology couldn’t save former ESPN and, now, former Denver Post columnist Terry Frei after the seven-time state sportswriter of the year tweeted his disapproval of Japanese driver Takuma Sato winning yesterday’s Indy 500.
A wreck so destructive it led to a red flag for repairs to the catch fence claimed the cars of Indy 500 pole sitter Scott Dixon and Jay Howard 53 laps into today’s race in Indianapolis.
The fabled, original “Yard of Bricks” marks the start/finish line at Indianapolis Motor Speedway and plays host to one of the most recognizable traditions in motorsports. One of the bricks, though, has been thoughtfully graffitied today with “FUCK MIKE PENCE.”
This individual who urgently needed to cross pit road ahead of Mike Pence’s motorcade had a bad time of it.
IMS chairman Mari Hulman George has been ordering Indy 500 drivers to “start your engines” for longer than most of us have been alive. Today, another woman tried to butt in on her command, Kanye-style. Mari Hulman George wasn’t having any of it, and damn near backhanded the young lady.
Canadian driver James Hinchcliffe will probably not race again this year after a brutal single-car crash during Indy 500 practice yesterday. It turns out this was the best-case scenario: according to a day-after report, Hinchcliffe came frighteningly close to bleeding out there on the track.
ESPN on ABC's coverage of the thrilling final laps of yesterday's Indy 500 left many viewers upset, as Bristol's repeated coverage of the race leaders' significant others battled that of the actual racing. Here's a comparison of what ESPN aired versus video from the international feed.
We're gonna assume this is some kind of viral marketing by dairy farmers, but after watching this I think I'm switching to Silk for good.
If race car drivers are good for one thing, it's giving memorable post-race interviews. This one, from Indy 500 winner Tony Kanaan, doesn't share the meandering goofiness of Brad Keselowksi's half-drunk dissertation on believing in oneself, but the two are united in spirit. The spirit of getting hammered.
The Indianapolis 500 isn't just about the racing; it's also about drinking toxic levels of alcohol, and getting thrown in the back of a pickup truck like so much drunk lumber.
The Indy 500 will begin shortly, so here's a list of drivers and their celebratory milk preferences.
Some maniac on Twitter is scouring the web and documenting the Indianapolis 500 in picture form this afternoon. Here are a few of the snapshots we found most interesting. The whole thing is a wonderful contemplation on absurdity and Americana, however, so you should check it out throughout the day. Otherwise you…
Cars! Left turns! Indianpolis! ABC! Danica! Helio! VROOM VROOM VROOM
Helio Castroneves won the pole for next Sunday's Indy 500. But the real story out of qualifying yesterday was Danica getting lustily booed by the crowd. Let's posit some explanations.
In Detroit, I lost a rental car for six hours. In Miami, I left all of my clothes in the hotel dresser. Since I was bringing a "photographer" to the Indy 500, there would be little chance of me leaving something behind. Unfortunately, he lost his camera.
I've been told by many people that the Indy 500 was quite the spectacle at one time. Though its popularity has dwindled and, admittedly, I know about as I do Hungarian cabinet making, I'll be flying down to Indianapolis this weekend in search of greatness.
For those of you who weren't around this weekend, our corporate (and spiritual!) friends at Jalopnik were at the Indianapolis 500 this weekend and did their best to cause all kinds of trouble. (They also informed us that Danica Patrick is "much hotter in person." Noted.)