ink Page 77 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

C. Ronaldo’s Latest Attempt And 9 Great Football Adverts!
Listening to the various ad execs taking him through their latest idea must have caused something of a tightening in the Cristiano Ronaldo trousers....

That's Just Manny Being Manly
According to a Dodgers beat writer, Manny Ramirez is endorsing a strip club-themed energy drink named "Sum Poosie." I would've thought Juicy Juice to be more appropriate, but whatever. [Twitter]...

So You Think NU Can Dance, Weeks 6 & 7: In Which Joe Lunardi Has A Scarlett Johansson Fantasy
A weekly feature in which author Benoit Denizet-Lewis follows the fortunes of the only BCS school to have sucked so consistently and spectacularly that it has never made the NCAA tournament, Northwestern. Record: 16-8. Tournament prospects: NIT prospects? Great!...

Good Old Fashioned T-Shirt Racism In Kansas
A Lawrence retailer is selling t-shirts that say "Frank Martin Mows My Lawn." The K-State coach is Latino. This has understandably become a bit of a firestorm....

SportsNation Unaware That "Weird Web Story" Had Tragic Ending
ESPN's SportsNation crew had a lot of giggles yesterday over this rather insane failed bike jump. Unfortunately, no one on set knew that the man in the crash eventually killed himself because of his injuries....

So You Think NU Can Dance, Weeks 4 & 5: We Are America's Team!
A weekly feature in which author Benoit Denizet-Lewis follows the fortunes of the only BCS school to have sucked so consistently and spectacularly that it has never made the NCAA tournament, Northwestern. Record: 14-6. Tournament prospects: Stranger things have happened....

So You Think NU Can Dance, Week 3: A Star Emerges From The Loins Of An NBA Ref
A weekly feature in which author Benoit Denizet-Lewis follows the fortunes of the only BCS school to have sucked so consistently and spectacularly that it has never made the NCAA tournament, Northwestern. Current record: 12-4. Tournament prospects: Still goodish? Maybe?...

Jeter And Minka To Wed, Says Occasionally Reliable Tabloid
Even an irrepressible bachelor needs to settle down sometime, says the guy who learned nothing from Tiger Woods. [NY Post]...

So You Think NU Can Dance, Week 2: Lurch Dunks On Our Heads
A weekly feature in which author Benoit Denizet-Lewis follows the fortunes of the only BCS school to have sucked so consistently and spectacularly that it has never made the NCAA tournament, Northwestern. Current record: 11-3. Tournament prospects: Goodish....

So You Think NU Can Dance: Will College Basketball's Sorriest Program Make The Tournament? Week 1
A weekly feature in which author Benoit Denizet-Lewis follows the fortunes of the only BCS school to have sucked so consistently and spectacularly that it has never made the NCAA tournament, Northwestern. Current record: 10-1. Tournament prospects: Good....

Overzealous Phillies Fan Gets Her Day In Court
The woman accused of offering sex for World Series tickets had a preliminary hearing, featuring graphic testimony and topless photos. The dog wasn't part of either. We hope....

Tiger Now Crushing Children's Dreams
A Wisconsin middle school band had hoped to fund their trip to Disney World by auctioning off an athlete's autographed photo. That athlete? Tiger Woods. That auction? Last weekend. Shit....

Tiger Woods Rumored To Be Getting His Becky On, Internet Declares.
The National Enquirer has been tailing a 34-year-old NYC woman whom they claim is having a dirty affair with Eldrick. They even have pictures of her in Australia checking into the same hotel as him. Brilliant MediaTakeout commenters respond accordingly....

Canadian Dads Are Sick Of How Much Their Hockey-Playing Daughters Stink
Canadian fathers, already emasculated by their daughters being better hockey players than they ever were, have directed their misplaced aggression at the noxious fumes emanating from their little princesses' hockey gear....

Chuck Klosterman: American Polymath Napkin
Chuck Klosterman plugs his Dinosaur book by doing an interview with the good people at American Polymath blog. Okay, truth be told, this interview gave me a reason to commission another napkin caricature from Craggs....

The Derek-Jeter-Hits-The-Beach-With-A-Starlet Photos Will Make You Miserable
Our Captain is off on his annual off-season jaunt to a humid location with a young, bikini-clad actress-person whom he will most likely never settle down with and, unfortunately for him, there was a slimy photog in the palm tree....

Shocker: AL's Best Pitcher Wins AL Cy Young
It's Zack Greinke by a landslide, which means the Internet won't have the pleasure of yelling at wrongheaded baseball writers until Thursday, when they snub Tim Lincecum. [BBWAA]...

When Ladies Start Throwing Chairs In A Casino Cafeteria, It's Time To Call Tim Floyd
Luckily, before this devolved into some serious Latina ultra-violence, disgraced former USC basketball coach Tim Floyd was there to calmly intervene. Brain go boom. [HermsPerm]...

Is Beer Die A Good Drinking Game Or Not?
Time for your Deadspin Open Mailbag Tuesday. Email us here or submit your questions via Twitter. This week, we're covering piss boners, mayo shits, Nick Adenhart, beer die, fitted sheets, and more....

Kevin Durant Not A Fan Of Mildly Abstruse Basketball Metrics
Durant responds, via Twitter, to criticism of his oddly atrocious plus-minus rating: "love all the REAL basketball fans who appreciate hardwork, passion and love for the game..and not jus 'plus and minuses'...wateva dat is!" Somewhere, Joe Morgan nods. [Twitter, TrueHoop]...