ink Page 77 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Overzealous Phillies Fan Gets Her Day In Court
The woman accused of offering sex for World Series tickets had a preliminary hearing, featuring graphic testimony and topless photos. The dog wasn't part of either. We hope....

Tiger Now Crushing Children's Dreams
A Wisconsin middle school band had hoped to fund their trip to Disney World by auctioning off an athlete's autographed photo. That athlete? Tiger Woods. That auction? Last weekend. Shit....

Tiger Woods Rumored To Be Getting His Becky On, Internet Declares.
The National Enquirer has been tailing a 34-year-old NYC woman whom they claim is having a dirty affair with Eldrick. They even have pictures of her in Australia checking into the same hotel as him. Brilliant MediaTakeout commenters respond accordingly....

Canadian Dads Are Sick Of How Much Their Hockey-Playing Daughters Stink
Canadian fathers, already emasculated by their daughters being better hockey players than they ever were, have directed their misplaced aggression at the noxious fumes emanating from their little princesses' hockey gear....

Chuck Klosterman: American Polymath Napkin
Chuck Klosterman plugs his Dinosaur book by doing an interview with the good people at American Polymath blog. Okay, truth be told, this interview gave me a reason to commission another napkin caricature from Craggs....

The Derek-Jeter-Hits-The-Beach-With-A-Starlet Photos Will Make You Miserable
Our Captain is off on his annual off-season jaunt to a humid location with a young, bikini-clad actress-person whom he will most likely never settle down with and, unfortunately for him, there was a slimy photog in the palm tree....

Shocker: AL's Best Pitcher Wins AL Cy Young
It's Zack Greinke by a landslide, which means the Internet won't have the pleasure of yelling at wrongheaded baseball writers until Thursday, when they snub Tim Lincecum. [BBWAA]...

When Ladies Start Throwing Chairs In A Casino Cafeteria, It's Time To Call Tim Floyd
Luckily, before this devolved into some serious Latina ultra-violence, disgraced former USC basketball coach Tim Floyd was there to calmly intervene. Brain go boom. [HermsPerm]...

Is Beer Die A Good Drinking Game Or Not?
Time for your Deadspin Open Mailbag Tuesday. Email us here or submit your questions via Twitter. This week, we're covering piss boners, mayo shits, Nick Adenhart, beer die, fitted sheets, and more....

Kevin Durant Not A Fan Of Mildly Abstruse Basketball Metrics
Durant responds, via Twitter, to criticism of his oddly atrocious plus-minus rating: "love all the REAL basketball fans who appreciate hardwork, passion and love for the game..and not jus 'plus and minuses'...wateva dat is!" Somewhere, Joe Morgan nods. [Twitter, TrueHoop]...

Pitches, Man, Pitches
Looking toward a deep playoff run, the Yankees are trying to get their ducks in a row. That means telling the wives and girlfriends to stop being mean to Kate Hudson....

Georgia Bodypainter Shouts The Virtues Of A Nice Base Layer
This video sort of defies analysis, so I'll just set it up this way and trust you to watch the whole thing: This man is not an albino pro wrestler. Just a very intense and very white Georgia Bulldogs fan....

Somehow, The Chilled Afterlife Of Ted Williams Manages To Get Weirder
Workers at Alcor, the cryonics lab where the frozen leftovers of Ted Williams are being preserved in liquid nitrogen, allegedly decapitated the Splendid Splinter and mutilated his head with a monkey wrench. There goes the greatest sentence ever written....

Teams Giving Refunds For Poor Play Could Bankrupt American Sports
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

The BAC Of The Entire Adelman Family Is About 7.4
This is...impressive. Daughter of Rockets' head coach Rick Adelman, Kathryn Naro, a high school women's head basketball coach was pinched for her second DUI earlier this week, bringing the total number of Adelman children busted for DUIs to three....

Proud Americans Are Getting Hosed For Ballpark Beer (Never Forget)
Why does baseball hate America? America is beer, and baseball hates beer-lovers....

You Are Cordially Invited To The Alvin Keels Pool Party
While the whole Andre Smith contract abortion was playing out, we assumed his agent was working the phones nonstop. Instead, he was making embarrassing videos hyping his pool party....

When Stinky Met Pujols
Be honest: Your inner 8-year-old has been waiting for a moment very much like this ever since Albert Pujols cracked the majors in 2001....

Wait ... Is That Boxer Drinking His Own Urine?
Yep. He sure is. That's Juan Manuel Marquez, who apparently ends his workouts by pissing into a cup and the chug-a-lugging the whole thing. I think HBO may be taking this "24/7" thing too far....

It’s An NFL Preview Pants Party With The Mighty MJD
This week's Deadcast guest is your old Weekend Daddy and editor of Yahoo's Shutdown Corner, THE MIGHTY MJD. (Listen here, iTunes here.) Oh, MJD. How we've missed you....