irl Page 15 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Not a Good Day for Tiger or Mistress Uchitel
PGA Championship's next week. How's Tiger doing at his warm-up event in Akron?...

I Scream, You Scream, We All Scream For Free Readings
Hey, New Yorkers: it's time for another portion of Gelf magazine's Varsity Letters series of free readings. Tonight at 7:30: gambling, bodybuilding, and The Girl Who Struck Out Babe Ruth. That's 7:30, DUMBO, and free....

Paraguay's Cellphone-Boobs Girl Robbed, Probably Shouldn't Have Shown World Where She Hid Her Cellphone
Larissa Riquelme—bust-out star of the World Cup, "owooga"-inducer, and cellphone-placement-innovator—was robbed by "bandidos" while vacationing in Rio, losing her cellphone, passport, and other "documents." More pictures, including where she's been hiding her phone Post-World Cup after the jump....

FMK: Ichiro, Werth, Strawberry
I've fielded kyuu or juu tips-emails about this video of Blossoming Young Lady Giddying Up After Ichiro Elbows Her Face, Caresses Her Outer Thigh....

Paraguay Cellphone-Boobs Girl Says She's Received Creepy Death Threat. Or Something. (Update)
Larissa Riquelme — aka Paraguay Girl, aka Cellphone-Boobs Girl — has taken to Facebook to alert everyone that she is being threatened! Possibly! The Google-translated message after the jump....

Paraguay Girl, Larissa Riquelme, Will Shed What Little Clothing She Wears If Team Wins Cup
So this girl has turned into living, breathing, boob-heaving monster. Paraguay defeated Japan on PKs and the world seems more interested in the possibility of her disrobing (which she often does) than if her country miraculously wins the World Cup....

Spirit Airlines Graduates From Hornball Puns About Oral Sex To Hornball Puns About Catastrophic Oil Spills
The crappy budget carrier, known for its studiedly edgy marketing tailored to the Cocks-hats-and-Rohypnol crowd, is now cracking wise about the BP oil spill: "Check Out The Oil On Our Beaches." Seriously? Who besides Joe Hazelwood is this supposed to appeal to? [Sparty & Friends]...

World Cup Open Thread: Greece-Argentina; Nigeria-South Korea
The second batch of games has some potential. Greece will need to hold back the relentless Argentine attack if it wants to advance. Can Nigeria play spoiler to the ambitious South Koreans? Comment as you watch....

Extremely In-Depth Profiles In Courage: Sara Carbonero (A.K.A. The Spanish Goalkeeper's Nagging Girlfriend)
That's Sara Carbonero, the Spanish TV reporter and ladypal of Iker Casillas, and wouldn't you know it, she's being blamed for Spain's loss to Switzerland. But what do we really know about her? Here we go again....

Cell Phone-Bosomed Paraguay Girl Is The Star Of The World Cup So Far
You can be happy, the rest of your life, with a Paraguay Girl. Even the Italians, who had to settle for a troubling tie from the scrappy republic known primarily for its political unrest and its chief export, mandals....

An Alternate History Of The Miami Sorority Zoo Party Bus Of Doom
Earlier this week, we told you about the Zeta Tau Alpha sorority that was disciplined by Miami University for alleged drunken assaults on a limousine driver. Well, a friend of the Zetas have stepped up to defend their honor....

Yet Another Miami Sorority Formal Ends In Drunken, Pukey Anarchy
The Fightin' Zeta Tau Alphas of Miami University became the third sorority at the Ohio school to be placed on probation this semester after a night of messy, over-served lunacy. At the zoo, of all places. Those poor animals....

Your Indy 500 Open Thread
Cars! Left turns! Indianpolis! ABC! Danica! Helio! VROOM VROOM VROOM...

"Balzer" Girl Just Doesn't Have The Same Ring To It
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day...

All Your Fantasies Can Come True, With Vintage Laker Girl Outfits
For the low, low price of $10,000, you can own two outfits from 1979, the rookie year for the Laker Girls. Make a Halloween costume! Pleasure yourself to them! Become a shot girl in Branson! [eBay, via Brooks]...

Shaq Lip-Syncs To That One Rick Springfield Song, With Puppets
Shaquille O'Neal loves to have fun, and fun is what you get when you mix Shaq, puppets, and Rick Springfield's "Jessie's Girl." The only thing missing is a Chinese man named Cosmo lighting some fireworks. [Ustream]...

Here's Your Annual Wet USC Song Girls
An excellent palate-cleanser during the most jam-packed sports weekend in a while. The Song Girls hit the pool for a good cause (a charity, not your shameful urges). [BeatSC.com]...

She's Like Danica, But Good
Venezuelan Milka Duno has signed on to run a full IndyCar season. Danica really has been a trailblazer. If Duno does well, maybe she can fail in NASCAR too! [Indy Star]...

Ducks Cheerleader Full Of Liquid Cheer
The inimitable Blazer Girl points us (very specifically) to an Oregon freshman cheerleader who got herself a DUI over the weekend. That’s her, second from left. Say hi! [Register-Guard]...

Cultural Oddsmaker: Who's The Next Longhorn Girl?
To commemorate the emergence of Arielle Whatsherface, the new hot, young teenager that collapsed the internet with her winsome good looks, the Cultural Oddsmaker column makes a brief return....