irl Page 16 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Cell Phone-Bosomed Paraguay Girl Is The Star Of The World Cup So Far
You can be happy, the rest of your life, with a Paraguay Girl. Even the Italians, who had to settle for a troubling tie from the scrappy republic known primarily for its political unrest and its chief export, mandals....

An Alternate History Of The Miami Sorority Zoo Party Bus Of Doom
Earlier this week, we told you about the Zeta Tau Alpha sorority that was disciplined by Miami University for alleged drunken assaults on a limousine driver. Well, a friend of the Zetas have stepped up to defend their honor....

Yet Another Miami Sorority Formal Ends In Drunken, Pukey Anarchy
The Fightin' Zeta Tau Alphas of Miami University became the third sorority at the Ohio school to be placed on probation this semester after a night of messy, over-served lunacy. At the zoo, of all places. Those poor animals....

Your Indy 500 Open Thread
Cars! Left turns! Indianpolis! ABC! Danica! Helio! VROOM VROOM VROOM...

"Balzer" Girl Just Doesn't Have The Same Ring To It
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day...

All Your Fantasies Can Come True, With Vintage Laker Girl Outfits
For the low, low price of $10,000, you can own two outfits from 1979, the rookie year for the Laker Girls. Make a Halloween costume! Pleasure yourself to them! Become a shot girl in Branson! [eBay, via Brooks]...

Shaq Lip-Syncs To That One Rick Springfield Song, With Puppets
Shaquille O'Neal loves to have fun, and fun is what you get when you mix Shaq, puppets, and Rick Springfield's "Jessie's Girl." The only thing missing is a Chinese man named Cosmo lighting some fireworks. [Ustream]...

Here's Your Annual Wet USC Song Girls
An excellent palate-cleanser during the most jam-packed sports weekend in a while. The Song Girls hit the pool for a good cause (a charity, not your shameful urges). [BeatSC.com]...

She's Like Danica, But Good
Venezuelan Milka Duno has signed on to run a full IndyCar season. Danica really has been a trailblazer. If Duno does well, maybe she can fail in NASCAR too! [Indy Star]...

Ducks Cheerleader Full Of Liquid Cheer
The inimitable Blazer Girl points us (very specifically) to an Oregon freshman cheerleader who got herself a DUI over the weekend. That’s her, second from left. Say hi! [Register-Guard]...

Cultural Oddsmaker: Who's The Next Longhorn Girl?
To commemorate the emergence of Arielle Whatsherface, the new hot, young teenager that collapsed the internet with her winsome good looks, the Cultural Oddsmaker column makes a brief return....

Longhorn Girl Arielle Angelovich: A Lesson In Instant Internet Fame
How does one go from anonymous math major to a sought-after interweb celebrity in the span of 40 minutes? All it takes is some fortuitous timing, a bit of fate, and a bright orange t-shirt....

Well, We Found Longhorn Girl
A helpful classmate tipped us off to the young lady's name, and Deadspin Investigative Services sprung into action. There turned out to be quite the paper trail; follow it with us, won't you?...

The Curious Case Of Longhorn Girl
Who is this comely lass with the burnt-orange hair and why was she strategically placed behind the Kansas bench last night? Was she there to distract Jayhawk players from their defensive assignments or as ESPN's Valentine to lonely basketball fans?...

Coach Who (Accidentally) Nailed Girl In Face With Volleyball Forced To Apologize Again
This is Southern Regional High School girl's volleyball coach Eric Maxwell, whom you probably remember from this memorable episode, which occurred earlier this month. He apologized immediately after it happened. Unfortunately, he gained aa new audience yesterday....

The One Where Some Vindictive Lady Sends Us Pictures Of Matthew Stafford Making Out With His Girlfriend
Due to that awful stomach virus going around, I was unable to get to Deleted Scenes on Friday. Thanks for your concern. So this week you get a double-shot of unseemly Deadspin Deleted Scenes today and Friday....

Paul Shirley Has Been Down This Road Before
Here's the thing about saying something controversial: people are then going to look back through everything you've ever said to find more. Paul Shirley's got a few nuggets in his past....

Paul Shirley Spits Out "A Reaction" To His Dipshit Haiti Column
"[M]y goal was to question the psychology of donating, the way we react to natural disasters and the nature of responsibility leading up to and immediately after[it]. Regardless of the outcry, [I] think I did [that]."...

And ESPN Runs, Runs So Far Away From Paul Shirley
Here's their entire statement: "He was a part-time freelance contributor. The views he expressed on another site of course do not at all reflect our company's views on the Haiti relief efforts. He will no longer contribute to ESPN."...

Paul Shirley To Haiti: Go Help Yourself (UPDATE)
Onetime baller, sometime music critic and all-around man of letters Paul Shirley has published his thoughts on the stricken Haitian people. Namely, that they put themselves in this mess, so he's not about to help. This may not end well....