its Page 17 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Choking-Ass Glory Boy Rabbit Blows Huge Lead To Tortoise
Numerous genetic surveys have been done on the rabbit, but until this point in history, the potential existence of a clutch gene has been a scientific mystery. Are rabbits reliable performers in the clutch or are they wilting-ass chokers? Finally, we know for sure: Bunnies are weak as hell under pre...
Jason Pierre-Paul And ESPN Settle Invasion Of Privacy Suit
Free agent defensive end Jason Pierre-Paul has settled his invasion of privacy lawsuit against ESPN, the network announced today in a statement:...
Jameis Winston Sexual Battery<em></em> Lawsuit Formally Dismissed
This morning, a U.S. District Court judge dismissed two lawsuits involving Jameis Winston, finally ending a four-year legal saga. A sexual battery lawsuit filed by Kinsman against Winston in 2015 and an earlier suit filed by Winston against Kinsman for defamation were both dismissed. The pair settle...
Jimmy "Superfly" Snuka Dies At Age 73, Weeks After Murder Case Dismissed
Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka, the legendary wrestler more recently charged with the 1983 death of his girlfriend, has died. He was 73. The case against Snuka was dismissed earlier this month after a judge ruled him incompetent to stand trial. His death was announced by Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. ...
What's The View Like From Your Window?
It’s Friday afternoon. That’s the big window in the living room of the forest cabin that my family and I moved into a little over a week ago. It’s nice. I sit in that chair on the right side and do blogs. I’m sitting in that chair right now!...
Every Episode Of <i>It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia</i>, Ranked
It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia has been on the air since 2005, and somehow, a show about five terrible idiots who hatch insane schemes and treat each other with unabashed disdain is probably going to end up as the longest running live-action comedy series in TV history. The show is just getting i...
Newt Gingrich Is In A Dark Place<em></em>
Newt, my boy. My dear, morally bankrupt Newt. What did Mr. Trump do to you? Did he hurt you? You can tell us. You don’t have to do this....
Ex-UConn Soccer Player Sues School After Losing Scholarship Over Middle Finger
In 2014, then-UConn women’s soccer freshman Noriana Radwan flipped off the ESPNU camera in a fit of excitement after the Huskies won their conference championship. I don’t think it reveals too much bias to say the act was, however shocking (not that shocking), effectively harmless....
Lawsuit Accuses DeMarcus Cousins And Matt Barnes Of Punching And Choking Nightclub Patrons
Matt Barnes and DeMarcus Cousins got into a scuffle of some sort at a New York City club early Monday morning, prompting the NYPD to seek out the pair for questioning. A pair of people who claim that Barnes and Cousins assaulted them filed suit yesterday in a New York U.S. District Court, and demand...
Manchester United Might Play On A Pitch That's More Ice Than Grass
Soccer is an all-season sport that is often played on snowy pitches in the dead of winter. It is not, however, traditionally played on a frozen tundra that, when you step on it, makes sounds like you’re walking on a frozen pond. And yet that may be the case for Manchester United’s away trip to Ukrai...
Government Alleges Collusion Kept The Dodgers Off The Air In Southern California<em></em>
Three years ago the Los Angeles Dodgers partnered with Time Warner Cable to create SportsNet LA, a regional sports network that carries Dodgers games and no other interesting programming. The deal was worth a reported $7 to $8 billion over 25 years for the team, by far baseball’s largest local telev...
San Antonio Cop Reportedly Fired For Feeding Homeless Man A Literal Shit Sandwich
Our American law enforcement system enables its officers to abuse their power and harass the citizenry in ways both petty and outright barbaric. Here’s a particularly cruel example, from down in San Antonio: a cop was fired this week after he fed a homeless man a shit sandwich. I do not use “shit sa...
Former Gymnast Alleges USA Gymnastics Enabled, Ignored Pattern Of Sexual Abuse
In a lawsuit filed today in Los Angeles Superior Court, a former member of the United States gymnastics team alleged that Marta and Bela Karolyi (legendary USA Gymnastics coaches) and others helped create a “regime of intimidation” and abuse that allowed Dr. Larry Nassar to sexually abuse a series o...
The Sub2 Project Takes Credit For Kenenisa Bekele's Near-World Record Marathon<em></em>
Ethiopian Almaz Ayana set a new world record of 29 minutes 17.45 seconds in the women’s 10,000 meters at the Rio Olympics. About a month later, fellow Ethiopian Kenenisa Bekele sped through the streets of Berlin, covering 26.2 miles in 2:03:03. That’s just six seconds shy of the world record, and a ...
![There's Actual Hardcore Porn Hiding In iOS 10 [NSFW]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/ochj2ldnzor9mkskixbn.png)
There's Actual Hardcore Porn Hiding In iOS 10 [NSFW]
Last night, we discovered that typing the word “butt” into iOS 10's new, baked-in GIF search leads you to a certain My Little Pony in a fairly compromised position. Apple’s already corrected that particular oversight, but they’re not done yet—because the new Messages app is also hiding actual, very ...
Dinosaurs Suck Now
If there’s one thing that really upsets me, it is the scientific community’s continued insistence on turning dinosaurs into lame little fuckers. Today brings us news that paleontologists have created the most accurate depiction of a dinosaur in history, which means we now know that the Psittacosauru...
Why Was Mitch Williams Fired From MLB Network? Why Is He Suing His Former Employer?
Mitch “Wild Thing” Williams’s lawsuit against MLB Network was scheduled to go to trial this week in New Jersey, two years after the former major-league pitcher and TV analyst filed a complaint in Camden County Superior Court alleging—among other things—breach of contract, negligent misrepresentation...
South Dakota State Tight End Makes A Gorgeous One-Handed Touchdown Catch
The fade route, in theory, should exploit the height mismatch between the receiver and defender, but it usually results in an aggravating incompletion. In Saturday’s game against Drake, South Dakota State tight end Dallas Goedert made it work....
Jason Pierre-Paul Is Suing ESPN Because Its Reporting Was Too Accurate<em></em>
New York Giants defensive end Jason Pierre-Paul is scheduled to face off against ESPN and reporter Adam Schefter in a Florida federal court next August. At issue is a tweet Schefter posted in 2015 containing two photos of Pierre-Paul’s medical records....
Lawsuit: Warriors App Secretly Allowed For Creepy, NSA-Style Tracking Of Users<em></em>
The Golden State Warriors are the team of the megalomaniacs and bloodsuckers of Silicon Valley, and they are run by a trophy-fucker who thinks he invented smallball. From their continued obfuscation of their own ridiculous luck with a teleological argument about how their success was predetermined b...