its Page 43 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Be Joe Buck's Sidekick At The Super Bowl
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day.(PHOTO:)...
David Brooks Recalls That Time When Athletes Weren't Impressed With Themselves, Which Was Never
"Joe DiMaggio didn't ostentatiously admire his own home runs, but now athletes routinely celebrate themselves as part of the self-branding process," writes Upmarket Jeff Foxworthy, who, in addressing the Tucson shootings, trains his surveyor symbols on our national immodesty. Any thoughts, Babe?...
Frivolous Lawsuit Theater: Seahawks Fan Hit By Jet's Giant Snowball Wants Some Money
You'll recall the Jets being pelted with snowballs by the Seattle crowd, when Shaun Ellis decided to return the favor. Two years later, a fan has decided to sue....
German Santa Drunkenly Stumbles, Pisses, Falls His Way Into History
Bookmark this one for the day when you don't deliver your kid everything he or she asked Santa slide down the chimney with. Hell, bookmark this for when your family looks at you all judgmental while funneling nog....
It Was Only A Matter Of Time Before Snoop Dogg And Waffle House Found One Another
Snoop Dogg posed a question to his Twitter fam just before 11 a.m.: Denny's or Waffle House? Two hours later, Waffle House was a trending topic....
The Florida Marlins Will Try To Take Soldiers' Minds Off All Those Bullets Flying At Them
[Ed note: Yeah, that pic might could actually be Val Kilmer, but I'm of the mind that Wes Helms and Kilmer share the same soul after looking at it for a good long while.]...
Mike Leach Sues ESPN
The former Texas Tech coach has filed suit against ESPN and the PR firm repping Craig James alleging both libel and slander. Leach was fired after allegations he mistreated James's son Adam. Someone unfreeze the ombudsman! [AP]...
Birds Of War Lead Rangers To Game Three Victory
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Letter Chiding Baylor Students For Clogging Plumbing System With Semen Is Too Good To Be True, Alas
According to an anonymous tipster, the residence halls at Baylor were recently clogged with semen, leading to this desperate plea from one residence hall's director. Sadly, it's a fake, as our brief conversation with the hilariously put-upon director confirmed....
The Imperfect Man Pitched A Perfect Game, Lost His Pants
Welcome to Private Stache, an occasional feature in which Andy Gray, keeper of Sports Illustrated's indispensable Vault, spotlights the sports photography of yesteryear, a time when athletes wore short shorts and facial hair, and everyone looked vaguely uncomfortable....
Jerry Jones's Bizarre Sexual Assault Lawsuit
Remember Jerry Jones's drunk video, in which he slammed Parcells and Tebow? A woman claims that later that night Jones assaulted her, had her drugged with GHB, and almost gave her a prostitute's STD. Strange stuff in here....
John Wall Is Good At Basketball, Is Better Showman
When he isn't dancing, John Wall plays some exciting point guard. Here's video of him splitting the defense not once, but twice and finishing with an absurd 360-degree lay up during a recent Wizards scrimmage. [Wizards Extreme; via D.C. Sports Blog]...
This Is A Photo Of Danzig Wearing A Danzig Shirt After Buying Cat Supplies
Glenn Danzig is Glenn Danzig from the band Danzig. Therefore, it is surreal to see Glenn Danzig wearing a t-shirt that promotes the band Danzig. It is doubly surreal when Glenn Danzig of the band Danzig wears a Danzig t-shirt while carrying—or possibly returning—various cat supplies....
Poonami: Brooklyn Canal Turns Into Literal River Of Human Shit
The Gowanus Canal, which has already tested positive for gonorrhea, ran brown with human waste after this month's tornado. It's like the eleventh plague of Egypt, only, you know, poop. [via Brownstoner]...
Werner Herzog's Thrilling Car Accident Rescue Story Has Been Animated
Saying Werner Herzog is interesting is an understatement. He gives that Dos Equis Guy a serious run for his money in the Interesting Department. Here's an animated version of the time he saved Joaquin Phoenix from a hideous car wreck. [Kottke]...
"Look At The Tree" Tornado Video Is The East Coast's "Double Rainbow"
So, we had a tornado here in New York yesterday evening. Most people took it in stride. These bros in Brooklyn freaked right the fuck out. Let's enjoy....
Bernie Kosar Has Taken His Talents to Cleveland Traffic Court
So, former Cleveland Browns QB Bernie Kosar got pulled over by the law a couple weeks back. He apparently struck a cop's motorcycle while U-Turning his Range Rover....
Melo, D-Wade, Cubes and Nolan Ryan All Sued By Crazy Prisoner
Jonathan Lee Riches, in prison for wire fraud, spends all his time filing lawsuits against public figures. This week sees a new one, involving a number of prominent sports stars, and it is a doozy....
Incongruous Athlete Mix-Tape Theater: Toni Kukoc
Welcome to Incongruous Athlete Mix-Tape Theater, the frequent feature where we examine fan-made video love letters to athletes and their baffling soundtrack choices. Today's superstar: the Croatian Sensation, Toni Kukoc, set to Michael Jacksons's "Remember The Time."...
The University Of Miami's Jose Canseco Arrives, Shocks No One
Nevin Shapiro—an alleged Ponzi schemer and ex-University of Miami booster—is threatening to publish a tell-all book about the program. It'd be like that movie The Program, but with less James Caan and more fiduciary malfeasance. Or something along those lines....