ja Page 595 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Nine Chinese Figure Skaters May Not Be The Age China Said They Were
After the 2008 Beijing Olympics, the IOC launched an investigation into the ages of China's women's gymnastics team, because it seemed very possible that a few members were not women at all, but actually pre-adolescent girls. The '08 gymnasts were eventually cleared, but it came out that a '00 Olymp...

Karl Malone Talks About The Impact Jerry Sloan Had On Karl Malone
Karl Malone made it perfectly clear at last night's Utah/Phoenix game that Karl Malone thinks former Jazz coach Jerry Sloan is not a quitter. Karl Malone says that he would drop everything Karl Malone is doing at any given time to support Sloan in any venture he undertakes....

The Cleveland Cavaliers Are On A One-Game Winning Streak
Your morning roundup for Feb. 12, the day Mars-commute impregnating became a non-starter in the name of continuing the colony....

There's A 14-Year-Old In Canada With A 39-Inch Vertical Leap
This young man is Jamar Ergas. He is in the eighth grade and can pull off a 360-degree dunk. Ergas will enter the ninth grade at Christian Faith Center Academy in Creedmore, N.C. next year and, barring any rule changes, will play one season of college basketball somewhere around the year 2015....

Everything You Need To Know About The Upcoming NFL Labor War
"Ideally, this dispute would be settled on the fucking field where it belongs, with Ray Lewis jacking up Ralph Wilson and breaking all of his frail old man bones on a single hit." Drew Magary addresses the approaching lockout. Your last Jamboroo of the NFL season. READ »...

Everything You Need To Know About The Upcoming NFL Labor War
The NFL season is over! No! NO! NOOOOOOOOOO! Oh, fuck you, God! You've got some nerve allowing late winter, spring, and summer to get in the way like that! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU!...

Jerry Sloan Goes From Re-Signing To Resigning In 3 Days
After 22+ seasons on the bench in Utah — 21 one of them helming winning teams — Jerry Sloan is reportedly calling it quits. He had signed a one-year contract extension on Monday. Gregg Popovich is now the longest-tenured coach in the NBA....

There Is An Army Of Senior Citizens Spying On Kansas Athletes
A volunteer army, with code names like "Red Dog," roams the halls of KU, making sure the athletes actually attend class. Don't fuck with them. They lived through The Big One....

The Guy From The Visa Super Bowl Commercials Is A Worse Human Being Than Initially Thought
On this, the eve of Visa's Never Miss A Super Bowl Club member and moral cripple Larry Jacobson's big day, it'd be a travesty not to mention a new tidbit that arrived by way of American Profile magazine....

Soaring Moments In <em>SI</em> Super Bowl-ese
Sports Illustrated put all their Super Bowl coverage ever in one place. This is good for you, if you are Ernie Accorsi, or something. Otherwise? You get 44 years' worth of melodrama, dated references and similes....

Dan Gilbert Is The Whore Of Quicken
Cavaliers owner Dan Gilbert, the Comic Sans-styled defender of everything holy and Midwestern, runs a business that habitually craps on its employees and customers alike. A business other than the Cavaliers!...

DeSean Jackson: Renowned Punt Returner, Defender Of Bullied Children
DeSean Jackson's punt return once made a grown man strip and a Katie Bakes enter "the penultimate phase of depression"; after yesterday's appearance on The View with new pal "whoopi goldbird," he inspired a bullied child to cry in gratitude....

Jim Gray Doesn't Like Being Asked About His Sources
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

The Super Bowl Week Orgy, Through The Eyes Of An NFL Player
Every player in the NFL can buy two Super Bowl tickets at face value, if he so chooses. All he has to do is contact his club's ticket guy and arrange for the pickup. Some teams require rookies and second-year players to pick up the tickets at a location in the host city. Presumably, this policy is i...

OMG Puppies! And Other Highlights From Signing Day
A recruit hoisted a puppy, a mother forged her son's signature on a letter of intent, CBS made Rich Rodriguez interview his successor at Michigan, and many hats were donned. Signing day! First comes the built-up signature, next comes crushing disappointment....

You Could Win More Super Bowls If Your Coach Were Autistic
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....

Here's Video Of Last Night's One-Punch NHL Goalie Fight
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Why The Syracuse Point-Shaving Rumor Was Inevitable
After starting the season 18-0, Syracuse lost four straight. Almost immediately, rumors began circulating of a point-shaving scandal involving a number of players, including Scoop Jardine. These two facts are not unrelated....

11 Sumo Wrestlers Involved In (Text-Only) Text Message Controversy
Wrestlers and stablemasters in the Japan Sumo Association (JSA) have long been suspected of match-fixing, but now there might be some textual messages to prove it. Let's hope this doesn't all trace back to a stubby-finger typo....

Here's A Visual Reimagining Of Elway's Super Bowl Helicopter Spin, Starring A Playmate
The fine people at Playboy were kind enough to send along a link to "Greatest Super Bowl Moments With Jaime Edmondson." Here's how they explain what's going on:...