k Page 4137 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
NFL Divisional Pants Party: Patriots Vs. Jaguars
It's always nice to see the NFL adopting baseball's strategy of scheduling the most exciting postseason games really late at night. Though we might just be getting old....
It Is Time, Once Again, To Wank For A Cause
It's the news you dared not hope was true: Nearly 10 years after it was introduced in San Francisco, the Masturbate-A-Thon is making its triumphant return. To The Netherlands! What took you so long, Dutch people? (Carl Monday dons raincoat, sounds the Action 4 News Team alert). Oh, like you had anyt...
Brady Quinn's Unfortunate Circumstances
With the news yesterday that the Browns are looking to sign Derek "Horse Balls" Anderson to long-term contract, we look ominously to a future that, sadly ... could be Brady Quinn-less....
Divisional Playoff Cranium!
Big Daddy Drew's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo previews the upcoming weekend of the NFL every, well, every Thursday afternoon....
NFL Divisional Pants Party: Packers Vs. Seahawks
OK, everyone, it's the best football weekend of the year. Seriously: Four awesome games, all weekend. What more could someone want?...
Darren McFadden's Piano Bar Brawl
It has to be kind of boring for a college football phenom, when the bowl games are over, your college career is done and you have nothing to do until the Draft workouts begin. It has to make a man antsy. So we sympathize with Darren McFadden, who got himself arrested early this morning....
Attention Oprah's Book Club: The New Reggie Bush Tell-All Is Here
Not in time for Christmas, darn it, but sure to make for cozy fireside reading nonetheless; the new Reggie Bush book, Don Yaeger's Tarnished Heisman, is here. Is this the Game of Shadows of college football? There's apparently enough evidence of financial impropriety involving Bush at USC to make th...
Boy's Mother Secures Lifetime Of Beatings
You might ask yourself: What is it, exactly, that the "Kentucky Commission on Human Rights" does? Do they make sure that the varmint menace is vanquished? Are they there to clear the way for Kige Ramsey's right to free speech? Nope: They make sure boys can be cheerleaders....
Nebraska's New Coach Is Quite Handsome
A reader who went to the BCS Championship Game sends in this photo of former LSU defensive coordinator and new Nebraska coach Bo Pelini, rocking the French Quarter at 3 a.m....
Just Five Unbeatens Left
Jonah Keri writes the college basketball closer (more or less) daily. E-mail your questions, comments or Clarence Ceasar-related memories to [email protected]....
Upset In Beantown
The NBA Closer is written by our Canadian weekend maestro J.E. Skeets. When he's not busy scouring the box scores or voting Benson '08, he can be heard on The Basketball Jones daily podcast....
What Happens In SportRobe, Stays in SportRobe
Attention bloggers: There's now no reason to ever again wear pants. The SportRobe is here! (No truth to the rumors that the Orioles are using these as their actual home uniforms). Several models available; and we suppose that Marbury is wearing his pretty much constantly. And Seaver, of course, rout...
The San Diego Chicken Still Rules The, Uh, Roost
All you other mascots, you better step off. Your newfangled antics are just hatin'. You will never touch the San Diego Chicken....
ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its wittiest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......
Tiger Victim's NFL Allegiance Revealed
Continuing the long tradition of people who have been laid to rest while wearing the gear of their favorite NFL team, that guy who was killed by the tiger at the San Francisco Zoo was sent to his great reward on Tuesday while wearing a ... you guessed it ... Oakland Raiders jersey. No word on what j...
The 'Fire Isiah' Movement, Now In Rap
Merciless boos in his home arena, eight-foot pink slips calling for his job, sexual harassment claims; Isiah Thomas has heard, seen and squeezed it all. And yet still he stands tall; an unwavering pillar of grinning cocksureness. Until now....
Political Experts Aren't Any Better Than Sports Experts
We stayed up late last night watching the election returns last night with far more vigor and intensity than we watched the BCS Championship Game on Monday night. Sure, we might have had more personally at stake in this one, but that's not the real reason we were so compelled. We were amazed because...