k Page 4152 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Everybody Keep Piling On Notre Dame!
As we come to the final death spasms of the glory/hideousness of the Notre Dame season, we stop to do a brief dance on the Irish grave. How bad has it become? Freaking Duke thinks it has a chance to win in South Bend this weekend....

What Group of People Will Phil Jackson Offend Next?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think....

The Woebegone Bay Area
This has been brought up before, but in the wake of this whole Barry Bonds business, it's worth mentioning: The San Francisco bay area is going through the worst stretch of sports news in recent memory. They're like the anti-Boston....

Not A Good Night To Be A Duck
With everything else going on and dominating those sports pages of ours, it almost passed notice that the BCS race imploded again last night with Oregon's loss to Arizona. It also obliterated Dennis Dixon's Heisman chances; he's not likely to play the rest of the season. All told, a rather eventful ...

After All That, Some Disappointing A-Rod Normalcy
Say what you will about Barry Bonds, but we certainly owe him one favor: For 20 hours or so, he made everybody stop talking about Alex Rodriguez. We are sure Scott Boras is appreciative....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as your favorite t-shirt commits suicide in the dryer ... • College football: Oregon at Arizona. Ducks march toward a royal screwing when they hand out the bowl bids. [ESPN] • College basketball: 2K Sports College Hoops Classic, semifinals, at New York, Connecticut vs. Gardner-Webb; Me...

Troy Aikman Screams Along To The "Music"
Troy Aikman, the man who can unite both Skip Bayless and Brandon Lloyd, sees Brady Quinn's hanging out with Bret Michaels and just guffaw. He hangs out with THE Hannah Montana....

Sign Here, So That We Might Own You
SI's Seth Davis, whom we always enjoy, brings up a point we've been wondering about for a while: Why in the world would anyone in the real world sign one of those letters of intent they make new college basketball recruits sign....

"Dear Furry Guy ... I Am Sorry I Hit You"
We've already played with "Who's Sorry Now" earlier this morning, but we couldn't help but point out this particularly bit of humiliation: A college hockey player has to write a letter of apology to a mascot....

Jamboroo, Week 11: A Quick Tribute To The Strongest Motherf—ker In The NFL
Big Daddy Drew's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo previews the upcoming weekend of the NFL every, well, every Thursday afternoon....

Early 2000s Kings Get Their "Wacky Pose"
Remember how, when you were in Little League, right after you did the "serious" team photo, you got to do a "wacky" one? We used to put our hat backwards and pull up one pantleg. We were pretty freaking hilarious when we were 10. Anyway, the 2002 Kings apparently pulled a similar stunt....

Phil Jackson Just Can't Quit You
Sure, Phil Jackson's post-game comments on Tuesday were controversial. But the cinematography was spectacular, and we say he deserves an Oscar. Wait, what? After losing to the Spurs on Tuesday, Jackson said "We call this a 'Brokeback Mountain' game because there's so much penetration and kickouts." ...

It's Almost Like A-Rod Never Left
So, after all that, after the World Series "breaking news," after Scott Boras' posturing, after it all ... A-Rod's probably gonna end up a Yankee after all. A-Rod is apparently getting his publicity advice from Kobe these days....

Break Up The Blue Jackets!
It's the NHL Closer. We pass the mic to the kids at Orland Kurtenblog. Their NHL Closer is written by Canadians for Americans....

Marbury Decides Against The Nuclear Option
So Stephon Marbury played for the Knicks on Wednesday — albeit $180,000 lighter in the wallet — saying "I'm positive all the way around. Whatever happened in the past is in the past." Damn it. Apparently some sort of deal with Isiah Thomas was brokered, and the skeletons will remain in the closet....

Hmm, Who Would Win A Fight Between Herschel And Spurrier?
There's not much more ironically amusing than Steve Spurrier lecturing someone else on sportsmanship, but he's been going after Georgia recently for their big touchdown-pile-on a few weeks ago. He said he'd have sent in a third-string Gamecock to start a fight, therefore getting a bunch of Bulldogs ...

The Buckeyes And Wolverines Are Still Playing This Weekend
This year's Ohio State-Michigan game, thanks to Illinois' win last week (woo!) and the lack of a legendary coach dying right beforehand, doesn't quite have the inherent drama of last year's. But it's still freaking Ohio State-Michigan....

Defying The Odds, Our Hero Makes It To Week 2
My Talking Dennis Miller Action Figure arrived in the mail today, and I'm happier than Wink Martindale on the Island of Topless Double-D Spokesmodels. Although on close inspection Talking Dennis more resembles the guy who sold me my term life insurance. So far I haven't been able to find the button ...

Packers Bong Guy Keeps Putting Lotion In The Basket
You may remember the not-at-all-creepy fellow who celebrated Brett Favre's 420th touchdown in the only appropriate fashion. Well, he has a new hit video, in honor of the Packers' shellacking of the Vikings last week....