k Page 4304 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Athlete Run-In: Nick The Quick Knows What Ladies Like
We've had a few protests over our upcoming hiatus from the athlete run-in stories. We're flattered that you like them so much, and we promise they will be back after the new year. We just don't want to rely on them, that's all. We're still taking your great ones at [email protected]. So send 'em o...
Your Takes On The Sex Boat Wrapup
We love doing this site, but, to be honest, what we might love the most are you, the readers. Your comments are the highlights of our days, and not just because you're funnier than we are. We thought we'd take this opportunity to showcase our personal favorite slices of hilarity from today's earli...
The Royals' Alphabet Madness
As one of the few people left on the planet who actually brings a scorebook to baseball games — it's actually leather-bound; it is, without a doubt, our most prized possession — we sympathize greatly with the citizens of Kansas City today....
Athlete Run-In: El-Amin And His Sandwich
We always loved former Connecticut point guard Khalid El-Amin, because we always like point guards who are shorter than us yet still weigh more. Today's first athlete run-in story is about our man Khalid. It comes from Eric in New Hampshire....
Honoring Fantasy Football's Greatest
On the list of strange potential tourist attractions, we have to say, the upcoming Fantasy Football Hall of Fame has to be pretty high up there. Football Outsiders has the story of the new venture, which will be based in Pennsauken, N.J. (and we have to say, New Jersey seems like just the place, d...
Nate Robinson, Naked Shower Jumper
We wouldn't have thought the Knicks locker room would resemble something from "Oz," but hey, when short hopper Nate Robinson is around, one never knows....
A-Rod Loves His Countries Just Too Damn Much
Well, after much careful deliberation — that is to say:...
The Full Report On The Sex Boat
So, hey, anybody else actually dug into these whole Vikings criminal complaints, the ones The Smoking Gun grabbed? If you haven't yet, we suggest you do, because it's even more entertaining than you thought. But, we understand, you're very busy at work today. So allow us to help you out. We've dug...
Clinton Portis' Craziest Costume Yet
Other Clinton Portis costumes have been deep, terrifying glimpses into the most cavernous regions of his soul, a tiny peek at the scary child within, peering out into the world, hoping it's not raining anymore. But this, his most recent one, however, is the most horrifying at all: A monstrous look...
Paging Dr. Naismith ...
As you may have heard, they had a basketball game at Princeton on Wednesday night, with Monmouth taking a hard-fought 41-21 victory over the Tigers. It was the lowest-scoring NCAA Division-I game since the advent of the 3-point line in 1986 — and possibly since 1913, when college basketball opened...
Sex Boat Case Sails Off
It's a sad day when you can't take your rookie teammates out for a little Lake Minnetonka party with a bunch of whores. This goddamned Internet is invading everybody's privacy....
Kris Benson Wonders Where It All Went Wrong
All right, so here's the situation. You're a middle-of-the-rotation starter whose team is trying to trade him. You're a former first overall pick who parlayed one good season into a multi-million-dollar deal. You are married to a woman who is attractive, but not as attractive as she so desperately...
Athlete Run-In: The '72 Dolphins Get Even More Desperate
Today's first athlete run-in story is timely because it concerns a retired player on a team that's in the news right now: The 1972 Dolphins. You know, those guys who hang on to being the only undefeated team like they cured polio or something? Kind of a sad group. It therefore didn't surprise us t...
Roy Keane Does The Celtic Jig
Famed Manchester United Hero-In-Exile Roy Keane has signed with Celtic until 2007, a move that could further signify the end of the Manchester United era. Our soccer expert chimes in with a report:...
Athlete Run-In: Kirk Hinrich, Gryffindor
Today's second — that is to say, final — athlete run-in story is about a guy we probably misidentified yesterday: Bulls point guard Kirk Hinrich, whose Facebook site is probably not actually this site. But anyway, this story, well, this story might not be true either, but you knew that already. Bu...
Kyle Orton, A Cop With ATTITUDE
Our affection for Bears quarterback Kyle Orton is well-documented, so we couldn't help but point out this photo, taken last Monday at Crobar in Chicago. (Linebacker Brian Urlacher was there as well, but he doesn't photograph as well, and besides, we don't want to taunt Michael Flatley any more tha...
Barry Zito's Suddenly A Zesty Italian!
In response to our light tapping of Alex Rodriguez for playing for the Dominican Republic in the upcoming World Baseball Classic, reader Gerald Smith emails us to set us straight:...
Kornheiser To Klosterman: Come Get Some!
It's always funny when writers fight — imagine fourth grade girls, except with more slapping — and it's even funnier when both writers take paychecks from ESPN. Unfortunately, as much as we might like to make this little tidbit into a fight, it's mostly just an old guy with a microphone tossing pe...
A-Rod, The World's Free Agent
Much talk this morning about Yankees hero of the working man Alex Rodriguez telling a radio station that he is leaning toward playing for the Dominican Republic in the upcoming World Baseball Classic rather than the United States. A-Rod has never, in fact, lived in the Dominican; he was born in Ne...
Merry Christmas, I Hate You
Deadspin weekend impresario calls it "the perfect gift for that special someone on your list that you'd like to see commit suicide," and, as usual, we couldn't put it any better....