k Page 4359 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Old Japanese Man Moves 100 Meters Without Dying
Personally, we had no idea they kept world records for different age groups. If you have to give an all-time record a qualifier, it's not really an all-time record anymore, now is it? We mean, hey, we own the best time in leaping from couch to rapidly burning pizza in stove by someone aged in the...
Mike Greenberg Is Gay Vogue. Really
OK, so you know how ESPN radio hosts Mike Greenberg and Mike Golic are constantly making jokes about how Greenberg is a "metrosexual" and Golic is, uh, hmm, a loutish oaf? (If you need any more substantiation of this Extremely Marketable Odd Couple Quality, check out their newest lame ass cartoon,...
Hockey Eliminates The Middle Man
Hockey has been gone and dead long enough now that we figure it's like when your dad realizes that the old car in the garage is broken and decides he'll just get rid of whatever spare parts he can sell. The AAA hockey league is selling off what many consider the best part of hockey, hosting a Hoc...
Cuban Still Under Illusion That Someone's Listening
In yet another of his ranting, "I know how best to market the NBA because I got lucky during the dot-com boom" posts, Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban babbles on endlessly on how the NBA should market itself. He doesn't have any major ideas — other than the usual "let's put a team in Vegas" and ...
F1 CEO Proves To Best Cro-Magnon Boss In The Business
Until about a week ago, you'd probably never heard of Bernie Ecclestone. This is because you're probably an American, and you don't pay any attention to Formula One Racing, the organization Ecclestone is the president and CEO of. A friend of ours who knows Formula One much better than we do says E...
The Continued Annoyance Of Smart People
What is it about boxing that makes academic and political types all weak in the knees? We think it's because you have to, you know, be a man to be a boxer. Overeducated wonks envy boxing because they work their way up the chain through their pals, their daddies, their fraternity brothers. The man-...
Olbermann Readies Himself For The Rubber Room
Legitimate question: Is MSNBC Serious Journalist Anchor Keith Olbermann crazy? We're not really kidding. Last week, ESPN announced that Olbermann, after eight years away from the network, will return to the Worldwide Bleeder to host a show on ESPN Radio. We suppose, in a certain way, this makes s...
Tyson Suicide Watch Continues
We really can't handle another Mike Tyson story that's about his damn birds. Yes. We know. He smashes people's heads into mush for a living, he's self-destructive, he's served time for rape, yet he's really into birds. We get it. It's supposed to mean something. It's, like, a metaphor, you see. US...
NHL Lockout Update
Yep, there's as much to report as you'd think: Just a bunch of guys with goofy names picking their noses....
Bidding For Danica
We find it encouraging that a female athlete could be a part of a bidding war — and Playboy isn't involved at all. Word has started to rumble (can word "rumble?") that Nascar could make a play for young Danica. She'd certainly have to sing at Wrigley "Stadium" better than Jeff Gordon did....
Guess The Kobe Bryant Activity
In this photo, Kobe Bryant and his wife are:...
If You Care ...
Apparently, we're VERY close to an end to the NHL lockout. Quoth Eklund's Hockey Rumors:...
Giuliani Risks Popularity By Offering To Save Hockey
These days, New York City mayor-turned-walking beacon of hope for all who walk the earth Rudy Giuliani seemingly can do no wrong in the court of public opinion. But that's about to be tested, because Rudy is sticking his mug into the NHL lockout. A group of investors is calling on Giuliani Partner...
Fat Drivers Whine
Last week, before the Indianapolis 500, Nascar dolt Robby Gordon said it was unfair that Danica Patrick was so light, saying she had a natural advantage for speed, being so spindly. We found this amusing, because once we find the one advantage women have over men in the world of sports, some idiot...
Cuban Hopes To Make NBA Like Nascar — Only Blacker
Yesterday we praised Mark Cuban for resisting the temptation to write one of those annoying "you can be a SUCCESS!" books. Of course, he'll pretty much sell anything else. In today's Blog Maverick post, Cuban praises the recent idea of putting advertising on NBA players uniforms. As one message b...
For Background Purposes, Honest
Just in case you thought Danica Patrick was a brand new phenomenon, FHM proudly proclaims that it had pictures of her months ago. So we link them to you, for research purposes. We missed the Rusty Wallace spread; our subscription to Beer Gut just ran out....
NHL Officially Falls Below Lacrosse
Even as it comes a little closer to a deal, according to the invaluable Eklund's Hockey Rumors, the NHL just keeps sliding closer to oblivion. Sportbusiness.com reports that ESPN has decided not to renew its option to broadcast NHL games next season....
Jeter Rips The Lid Off
Following in the steps of Barry Bonds, Derek Jeter has now launched his own Web site through MLB.com. We've been making fun of Barry's site pretty regularly, particularly its tendency to use its position as Barry's Only Place To Talk To His Fans Without That Racist Media Standing In The Way to tel...
Mark Cuban Gets His Pat Croce On
One of the many things we admire about Mark Cuban is that he hasn't written one of those Donald Trump, Pat Croce-esque books about "How To Be A Winner" or "YOU Can Be A Success!" Cuban always seems to be honest about the whole thing; he had a hot dot-com, he sold it at the exact right time and he'...
Danica Mania: The Aftermath
Like a lot of people, we were on the couch Sunday, cheering on Danica Patrick — and, perhaps even more so, David Letterman — at the Indianapolis 500. A friend of ours was asking us the other day, perplexed, whether or not we found Danica Patrick physically attractive; we said that he was wrong to ...