l Page 7859 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

An Unspectacular Arsenal
Bad news for Arsenal fans ... in fact, bad news for all Premiership fans. Thierry Henry is taking his nifty feet and moving to Barcelona. With the move, Arsenal now seems like just another team while Barcelona inspires thoughts of, "Holy Christ, look at that line-up."...

Way Less Charming Than Harold And Maude
There's a lot of track and field on TV today, but it's the boring kind. It's the kind where the female athletes are older than 16, and they aren't married to their 40-year-old track coaches. But don't worry, we've got that covered, too....

Pacman Jones Murders Pacman Jones' Dreadlocks
It always seems like the hair is the first casualty in the cleansing of one's image. Pacman Jones, seen there to your right, has not only washed the stripper glitter off of his face, but he's shorn his traditional dreadlocks. His agent says he was going for a more clean-cut, less dangerous image ......

You Are Up For Adoption
As Will told you yesterday, Weekend Daddy no longer wants custody of you. I've got this weekend, and one more. I had planned to just surprise everyone with my last post, and throw up a full-frontal picture of Jeff Reed's genitalia, but I guess that's not necessary now. Of course, it seems like it's ...

For Your Saturday Afternoon Viewing Pleasure...
1:00, NFL Europa Football. World Bowl XV. 2:00, ESPN2. LPGA Golf. Wegmen's LPGA, Third Round. 2:00, NBC. Track and Field. AT&T U.S. Outdoor Championships. 3:00, ESPNU. High School Football. Belle Glades Central (Fla.) vs. Byrnes (S.C.) 3:00, NBC. World Series of Golf. 3:00, CBS. PGA Golf. Travelers ...

About Last Night...
• MLB. Yankees 7, Giants 3. Barry Bonds' homerun chase continues to distract people from the fact that the Giants suck. • WNBA: San Antonio Stars 70, New York Liberty 63. That'll teach you to trade Becky Hammon, New York Liberty. • MLB. Red Sox 2, Padres 1. Matsuzaka out ueled Greg Maddux, but the b...

Chris Berman Talked To Us About Exercise
• Chase that cheese! • We hope to someday start a crime fighting squad with Harold Reynolds. • Hello, Sen. Dodd! • We love Laurence Maroney. • The Pirates love "The Sopranos." • Yet another tough week for Pac Man Jones. • Robots, on camels. • Gonna Make You Sweat. • So close now, Rick. So close. • E...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you rake the living room ... • NHL: NHL draft, day 1, at Columbus, Ohio. We're in front of the TV until Monday. [Versus] • Motor sports: NASCAR Nextel Cup, Toyota/Save Mart 350, practice and pole qualifying, at Sonoma, Calif. We can never find a good parking place at these things. [...

Enjoy The Comedic Stylings Of Lenny DiNardo
Tonight, the summer of Pants Parties continues: We'll be hitting ole Shea Stadium for the A's-Mets showdown. DiNardo! Glavine! Eight dollar beers! Welcome to New York....

Grumbling About ESPN
• Joe Theismann is not happy with ESPN ... [Metro Boston] • ... but this guy is REALLY not happy. [The Big Lead] • This punter be badass. [WBRS Sports Blog] • Bud Harrelson is grouchy. [One More Dying Quail] • Making it rain keeps going mainstream. [College Gameballs]...

Floating Through Space With Joe Morgan
We're not sure what the rights rules are for Major League Baseball audio and video broadcasts in outer space are, but if Bud Selig hasn't figured out a way to maximize revenue on the moon, he will. Even astronauts are listening to games now. Meet Michael Lopez-Alegria....

Which Athlete Will Be The Next Gay Blog Obsession?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think....

His Brain Has Not Only Been Washed, As They Say. It Has Been Dry Cleaned
There are two kinds of people in this world: Those that enter a room and turn the television set on, and those that enter a room and turn the television set off....

Humanity Prepares For The Terrible Reign Of Mr. And Mrs. Bubbles
What's coming up in the world of minor league baseball ... we proudly give you Rick Chandler's Minor Enterprise!...

Griffey Returns To Seattle
• Welcome back, Junior. [The Reds Rocket] • Somebody tape up Joe Mauer. [10,000 Takes] • Some praise for Vince Young. [The Sports Oasis] • Erin Andrews, traffic machine. [The Wizard Of Odds] • Keith Law's ESPN chat yesterday was incredibly entertaining. [Good Guy At Sports] • The NCAA is TAKING NO P...

The Perfect Man To Play The Yankee Clipper
The upcoming ESPN TV miniseries The Bronx Is Burning has potential, we think. The book it's based on is outstanding, it features Oliver Platt as George Steinbrenner and John Turturro as Billy Martin and it's directed by the guy who made Benny & Joon. (OK, that last one, maybe not so much.)...

In England, Nobody Scalps Tickets
So let's say you're a season ticket holder for the Miami Dolphins. One of your eight games this year is the October 28 game against the New York Giants in London. You think it's unlikely you'll be able to make the trip to London, but that's OK: With StubHub, you can sell that puppy and probably pay ...

Uh Oh, Canada Is Pissed
If you're like us, Thursday was Soccer Day at your house, as you refused to budge from in front of your TV while the U.S.-Canada match raged on. Also, you would only pass the dip with your feet. OK, we didn't watch a minute of it. But from what we understand, Canada thought it had the tying goal in ...

We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 2 p.m. Boxing with Dan Raphael: No kicking, no gouging. And none of this! (bonk!). • 2 p.m. NASCAR with David Newton: Pit crew made up entirely of monkeys. Innovative, or just wrong? • 3 p.m. ESPN host Stuart Scott: My wife does not ap...

Cow Tipping In Madison Is Absolutely Unacceptable
Sometimes, considering our own background, we have a hard time understanding some of these newfangled athlete malfeasances. This "Making It Rain" ... that didn't come up much in Mattoon (though the crops sure could have used it!)...