l Page 8095 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Reeeeeeeeematchhh!!!!!
It was inevitable, it was preordained, it was destined and placed here only to make us happy and the world a better place: Looks like Miami and Florida International, who have a bit of history, are set to butt heads, crutches and Hell 2 Da Naw once again, next year. It's October 6. It's the Orange...

NBA Roundup: Sage Advice From The Files Of Ron Artest
Notes on Tuesday's games in the National Basketball Association ......

About Last Night ...
What you missed while punching out Pauly Shore, kind of ... • NHL: Senators' Ray Emery will turn back every puck ... but will he also turn back your love? • NBA: Lakers forget there are four quarters in a game, but still beat Rockets. Bad news for Odom, though. • College basketball: Antanas Kavaliau...

Sick Is A Nice Way Of Saying What We Are
As we continue to try to foster our uneasy peace with the kids at the Barbaro Message Board, we, as a public service, bring you today's great Angry Barbaro Message Boarder Email Of The Day....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as an Ewok knocks on your door to ask for directions ... • NHL: Buffalo at New Jersey. Later, the Hunting for the Holidays guys stumble into the middle of the Barbeque Championships, with tragic, yet delicious results. [Versus] • NBA: Lakers at Rockets. Several lucky fans will win chun...

David Eckstein Is One Scrappy, Gutty Wrestler
We don't cover much professional wrestling around here, because, as athletic an enterprise as it might be, it's not really, you know, sports. But — shockingly! — tons of professional athletes love wrestling; we think it's the tights....

Leftovers: Yeah, Good Luck With That
• The Cubs should have all kinds of fun with Jason Marquis over the next three years. [Goat Riders Of The Apocalypse] • Women's basketball Bracketology is here? Really? [ESPN] • If you're a Minnesota wrestler, the Navy SEALS would like to talk to you. [WCCO] • On soccer, Chile and politics, of cours...

Big Ben Keeps Teaching The Kids
It was only a matter of time: Ben Roethlisberger's motorcycle mishaps are inspiring minor league promotions....

Troy Smith, Terror In The Skies
Troy Smith might be the Heisman Trophy winner, but you gotta be careful with that trophy. Some people might think it's a potential terrorist device....

Deadspin SHOTY Tournament: Jay Mariotti Vs. Harold Reynolds
We return to the SHOTY Tournament, with the final two quarterfinal matchups, today and Thursday. Of all the Elite Eight matchups, we think this might end up the closest. (The first two have been runaways, though you can still vote.) First, a reminder of the bracket....

'I Regret Nothinnnnnggggggg!'
On the list of things we would never attempt, right after "Barbaro message board moderator" and right before "poking Larry Allen with a sharp stick" comes this. It's base jumping, of course, but these batshit insane daring thrill-seekers have added a couple of twists over the past two years. No. 1 i...

Blogdome: Boras' Loss In Translation
• What in the world is going on with the Red Sox, Scott Boras and D-Mat? [SethMnookin] • If Iverson were on your team, here's what it would look like. [HoopsSmack] • Miguel Batista: Mediocre writer, better pitcher (barely). [Seattlest] • How much would a free agent Pujols cost right now? A lot. [Get...

Year In Review: March
We're reviewing each month of the past year leading up to New Years Day. We call it, imaginatively, "Year In Review." We're digging through our archives pretty well, but if you think we should definitely feature something for the last year that we might overlook, email us at [email protected] with s...

Smash Your Trash With Razor Ruddock
How frustrating it must be, for retired boxers everywhere, to see George Foreman having so much success in his post-boxing career. Most of these guys are screwed over in every possible way while they're fighting, and then when they retire, they have no money saved up and no marketable skills other t...

There Are No Duke Basketball Tickets Here! Now Go Away!
The politics of exclusion permeates many cities, and the sleepy hamlet of Krzyzewskiville is no exception. You've heard of Krzyzewskiville; the campus tent city set up by Duke students each winter to wait in line for basketball tickets to Cameron Indoor Stadium. But this season, residents have gon...

We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 11 a.m. Fantasy Football Focus: Come on Mike Shanahan, all Preston Parsons needs is a chance! • Noon. MLB With Rob Neyer: Oh my God, they're calling him D-Mat. Is it OK if I'm already sick of Daisuke Matsuzaka? • 2 p.m. NHL with Scott ...

The Dance Craze That's SWEEPING THE NATION
We'd like to thank Mister Irrelevant for introducing our Meat Loaf-loving asses to the dance craze that's sweeping dorm rooms across the country: It's "Da Heizman On Dat Ho," a Heisman Trophy-inspired ditty and rompstomp that all the kids are doing. We think this is a dance we are capable of doing; ...

We're Avoiding "With Leather" Jokes, But You May Feel Free
We'd like to thank NBC Sports for using the pictured headline on their site last night, in reference to David Stern acquiescing to the demands of his players to bring back the old basketball, so we didn't have to. It's nice when global corporations do our work for us....

A Night For Loud Bears Fans And Silent Rams Ones
We spent a year and a half of our lives in St. Louis and went to two NFL games. The first was in 1998, when Tony Banks was the quarterback. You can imagine what happened then. The second time was in 1999, when Kurt Warner threw five touchdown passes on our 24th birthday to smash the then-vexing San ...

NBA Roundup: We Wish You A Jerry Christmas
Notes from Monday's games in the National Basketball Association ......