lance Page 28 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Lance Allred Is Not The Smiling Face Of Polygamy
Cleveland Cavaliers bench player Lance Allred was raised on a polygamist compound until the age of 13, and since, you know, that’s been in the news lately, CBS “The Early Show” interviewed him about it this morning. We wouldn’t say it went well....
Welcome Back, Baseball. We've Missed You
Shhh, listen ... baseball season is here! We know because we hear the anguished cries of collegiate players being pummeled by the pros. In sports' version of a large man chasing a dachshund with a shovel, baseball continued its storied and venerable tradition of major league teams opening spring tra...
A Report From One Of Briggs' Fellow Motorists
Now that Bears linebacker Lance Briggs has confirmed he was the one driving that Lamborghini Monday morning that was left on the Edens Expressway in Chicago — he's giving some ridiculous explanations too — we are happy to provide you with a report from a reader who was right next to Briggs' car last...
Where Not To Park Your Lamborghini
Whenever Chicago Bears linebacker Lance Briggs wakes up, groggy, confused, wondering where his car is, we hope he turns on CBS-2 in Chicago. There, he will learn exactly where his car is. Sorry: His Lamborghini....
Being An Obscure Gay Basketball Player Won't Help You Sell Books
It's difficult, in the world of sports book publishing, to garner better advance publicity than John Amaechi had for his book Man In The Middle....
Lance Armstrong, The Only Pure Cyclist
Mercifully, the Tour de France is over, and some guy we've never heard of but is probably doping like everybody else won. Yahoo. The race's public implosion got us to thinking about Lance Armstrong....
You Cannot Hide From Lance Armstrong
Far be it from us to insinuate that Lance Armstrong is still in the heads of the French cycling establishment, but now they're accusing him of breaking into their email....
Iowans Are Easily Entertained
"Wow, look at Lance Armstrong, eatin' that pie. Just look at him." "I wonder if there's EPO in that pie." "Is he going to eat the whole thing?" "He might. He's got incredible endurance." "Screw pie, man. You wanna see someone eat some pie? I'll eat some goddamn pie. I'll eat five of them." "Just ...
Apparently, Lance Likes It In The Rear Too
For all the talk last week about the supposed "offensiveness" of Lance Armstrong's joke at the ESPYs about Jake Gyllenhaal "liking it in the rear," many have noticed that the non-doping Tour de France dominator and the guy who looks like Spider-Man but isn't have been hanging out a bunch of late. ...
Cycling To Kill Time Between Doping Scandals
The Tour de France is underway, despite the fact that four of last year's top five finishers have been banned from the competition for being dirty, dirty, dopers. Meanwhile, the other one of the five is currently cruising through Iowa. I'm not sure if it's possible to dope on corn....
Get Ready For Tourgasm, 2006
Lance Armstrong will not be participating in the Tour de France this year; he got word that astronomers have found traces of his lost home planet, and he's gone there to investigate. So that leaves it to the mortals to fight over the remains, and if early indications are correct, the French aren't g...
The French Are Shockingly Persistent With This
The French media's treatment of Lance Armstrong is starting to make the American media's treatment of Barry Bonds look downright Jason McElwain-ish. They're still hung up on the idea that they can somehow prove that Lance Armstrong used steroids, EPO, or some other sort of performance enhancer....
Jalopnik's Last Missive From Indy
For those of you who weren't around this weekend, our corporate (and spiritual!) friends at Jalopnik were at the Indianapolis 500 this weekend and did their best to cause all kinds of trouble. (They also informed us that Danica Patrick is "much hotter in person." Noted.)...
Lance Armstrong Puppy Updates!
Remember back when ESPN was actually providing updates on the health of Lance Armstrong's dog? Well, we can't just blame them anymore; the Associated Press has take up the cause of Lance's puppy, which was apparently born with a defective valve in its heart, as if any of you could possibly care....
Blogdome: Don't Make White Sox Fans Angry
• When you're in the middle of a frantic pennant chase, it's very, very bad when your cable provider can't even figure out how to put your games on TV. [South Side Sox] • We repeat: ESPN was encouraging people to send Lance Armstrong's dog a get-well card. We are not kidding about this. [The Mighty ...
Leftovers: Take This Job And Shove It
• There is nothing more dangerous than an angry man in compression shorts: Lance Armstrong re-retires. [Instant Punditry] • Kim Clijsters' coach quits, perhaps in a huff, we're not sure. [tennisace] • Fantasy Prison Camp: Former Braves pitcher sent to the Gray Bar Hotel. [Atlanta Journal-Constitutio...
Leftovers: Peddle Your Rumors Elsewhere
• Cycling Union: Lance is no dope. [Tour of Texas Cycling] • Assist leader: Magic Johnson shows the love to Katrina victims by offering jobs that aren't on television talk shows. [LA Daily News] • San Antonio to host four Saints games, but the music won't be nearly as good. [Big Easy Blog] • Salon c...
The Invincibility Of Lance Armstrong
Well, it appears that Lance Armstrong has been hit with more doping allegations. We understand that Armstrong is unpopular with the French, and that they're convinced he's blood doping. We also understand that we don't really care, because it's freaking cycling, and now that Armstrong is retired, ...