lies Page 101 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Adorable Scamp Steals America's Heart, Throws It Back On The Field
The most important story in the world right now is that of Emily Monforto, the precious 3-year-old protester who led a bold and courageous anti-ballhawking demonstration at Citizens Bank Park this week....

God Apparently Not A Fan Of Allen Iverson
AI tweets this morning:''God Chose Memphis as the place that I will continue my career.'' The Good Lord struck Iverson a 1 year, $3.5 million deal with the Grizzlies. [Commercial Appeal]...

Cole Hamels Continues His Slow Transformation Into A Doily
Here, via Philebrity, is an advertisement from the new issue of Philadelphia Magazine, in which the Hamels family tries to sell you a luxury condo by posing like a couple of Precious Moments figurines in front of a horrified city....

Lousy Franchise Hitches Wagon To Fading Star
The Memphis Grizzlies confirm they have offered a contract to Allen Iverson, because the best way to bring along a young, unpolished team is to add a shoot-first point guard with no patience for teaching....

Bruntlett's Unassisted Triple Play Closes Out the Mets
The Mets rallied off of Phillies closer Brad Lidge in the bottom of the ninth, only to watch Jeff Francoeur line out to Eric Bruntett. The second baseman stepped on second and tagged Daniel Murphy to end the game....

Fisticuffs In New York: Mets Fan Gets Soaked, Dropped
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Brett Myers Just Can't Stop Being An A-Hole
The Phillies cantankerous pitcher Brett Myers is attempting to bounce back this season to inject life into the team's depleted bullpen, but first he has to let his eye socket heal after it landed on a fist....

Mob Justice Prevails Again (UPDATE #3)
Sick of seeing his overly-manicured facial hair plastered up all over Chicago, the suspected Wrigley Field beer chucker has turned himself in. We'll stay with this story all night if we have to! God, I feel like Nancy Grace....

Wrigley Beer-Tossing Hand Job Still At Large (UPDATE) (UPDATE NO)
I imagine that since we're very close to identifying the man who soaked Shane Victorino last night at Wrigley, that the Chicago PD are close as well....

Petey Throws Five Innings Of Slop For The Win
It wasn't pretty, or inspiring, but he did end up with the win. And Charlie Manuel used the hillbilly logic to monitor his new, old pitcher: "Five innings and he was ready to be got." [Philly.com]...

Stay Classy, Cubs Fans (UPDATE)
So, yeah, this happened tonight. Maybe it's time to retire that old stereotype of Philly having the worst fans? The culprit identified, after the jump....

All The Umpires Must Be Shot
Victorino's inexplicable ejection prompted Sporting Blogger, Dan Levy, to seethe: "Somewhere along the way in, umpires forgot the game isn't about them. They stand on the field to call balls and strikes, out and safe, and that's it" [SportingBlog]...

Cliff Lee Wins Roy Halladay Sweepstakes
Phillies give up farm parts for last year's Cy Young Award Winner and also add right-handed bat Disco Ben Francisco.[The Phillies Zone]...

And Here Are The Three Men Who (Allegedly) Beat The 22-Year-Old To Death In A Parking Lot During The Phillies Game
On Saturday there was a silly dust-up at McFadden's (a bar at CBP), which spilled out onto the parking lot and one young man was beaten to death for God knows what. These are the men who (allegedly) killed him....

And Now For A Minute Of Actual Sports
Roy Halladay is not a member of the Phillies ... yet. The Toronto Blue Jays' demands of executive bathroom privileges proved too steep for the Philadelphia bigwigs....

Pedro Martinez: Philadelphia Phillies
Level of excitement had this happened in 2004: 9. Level of excitement in 2009: 4. Still? Number of red Martinez jersey-shirts sold at Modell's over the weekend?: 8,016 [Cherry Hill Courier Post/PHOTO: EveryJoe]...

Yeah, But You Still Have To Live In Pennsylvania
Quaker staters, use your hand to shield your eyes from your three championship trophies, together for the first time. And take your other hand out of your pants. [Pittsburgh Post-Gazette]...

Oh, And The Mets Looked Great This Weekend
To be fair, Johan Santana did run up against Joe Blanton, a card-carrying furry. Even with this much-needed sweep, it still feels like the Marlins are going to backdoor the NL East when no one's looking.[Philly.com]...

Darren Daulton Wants To Makes It Clear That He Has Done A Lot Drugs
Everyone knows Darren Daulton was not a saint and he maybe indulged in some personal excess during his 14 major league seasons, but he just wants assure everyone of the real truth—the man was absolutely full of drugs....

Ask J.C. Romero About Steroids At Your Own Peril
Fan asks Phillies for autographs. Phillies walk away. Fan makes a steroid-related crack to J.C. Romero. Romero curses fan, then says, who, me? Fan says, yes, you. Romero allegedly chokes fan. [St. Pete Times]...