life Page 32 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Guy Loses Fantasy League, Has To Make Embarrassing Photo Calendar
This is a pretty great way to punish the person who comes in last in your fantasy league. Instead of merely living with shame in the abstract, make it tangible (and practical!) with a calendar full of embarrassing photoshops, like naked Prince Fielder....
West Ham Idiot Runs Length Of Pitch, Takes Free Kick For Spurs
An Idiot On The Field invaded the pitch at Upton Park today, and made the most of his time in the spotlight: he took a crucial free kick for the visiting Tottenham Hotspur....
How To Cook Pork Belly, Which Thoroughly Kicks Bacon's Ass
Albert Burneko is off. Your guest Foodspinner is pudding defender and friend of the program Miserable Shitehawk....
Just A Few Baseball Fans Dressed As Peapods, Chatting
"I dunno, I feel like I don't read anymore, you know? Have you read any good books recently? Nothing interests me. New fiction, classics, non-fiction, none of it. My kid tried to get me to read Lord Of The Rings and I was like, "I already read Jordan's autobiography."...
Angry Driver Versus Cyclists Makes For Great Roadside Screaming Match
Drivers and cyclists getting into confrontations is a thing that happens so often that it's hardly ever worth pointing out, but this is a special circumstance....
How To Make Hushpuppies, Which Are Man's Second-Best Friend
You may already know one of the many (likely apocryphal) hushpuppy origin stories, in some form or another. A familiar one has an old-timey Deep South cook (possibly a slave, depending on the storyteller's willingness to acknowledge the foundational crime of American history) preparing food for som...
Hot Mic Catches Jon Jones And Daniel Cormier Talking Incredible Shit
"Hey pussy, are you still there?" ...
Don't Buy All The Pies At Burger King To Spite A Child, You Asshole
By now you likely have encountered this thing, currently wending its way across the internet. In short, the story goes that the guy—a redditor (of course) known as thr111—spited the whiny, out-of-control child and distracted, defensive mother behind him in line at Burger King by purchasing every ...
Roddy White Finally Made Good On That Twitter Bet
Back in March, Falcons wide receiver Roddy White got on Twitter and made a foolish bet with a guy named Brian Hoyt on the Duke-Mercer game. White told Hoyt that he'd give him Falcons season tickets if Mercer beat Duke. Of course, Mercer went on to win. Oops....
Which NBA Player Farted And Put His Dick On This MTV Lady?
This is Carly Aquilino, a comedian and cast member on MTV's Girl Code, doing a spot on the Brilliant Idiots podcast, hosted by Charlamagne Tha God (who tells great stories) and Andrew Schulz. Aquilino's story is about the time she hung out with an NBA player who farted very loudly and then put his p...
Do Not Challenge This Lady To A Game Of Musical Chairs
Here we have a friendly bout of mid-rodeo musical chairs wherein some poor sap gets hit harder than Mike Tyson ever hit anybody, harder than Napster hit the music industry, harder than Jadeveon Clowney hit whoever that was. This dude gets lit the fuck up, is what I'm saying, and per the full video...
This Is The Best Excuse For Failing A Breathalyzer Test
The Daily Mirror's Sophie Gadd called attention to this News of the Weird item, and we here at Deadspin had some thoughts about it. We discussed it in our staff chatroom....
Dude's Massive Rave Leads To Historically Great Local News Segment
This is a local news report about James Taylor, a wonderfully goatee'd, 20-year-old West Michigan man who threw a big-ass party at his house that featured multiple DJs, fire-throwers, go-go dancers, and about 2,000 attendees. It's a really funny news report, but it achieves transcendence around the ...
How To Make Clam Chowder Like Real Fackin' New Englandahs Do, Maybe
There is a reason why every run-down, disreputable, reeking, inexplicably charming fish joint in North America serves New England-style clam chowder, and that's that New England-style clam chowder is goddamn delicious. Also, there are two other reasons....
Adam Duritz Receives Birthday Greeting From <i>AARP The Magazine</i>
Counting Crows frontman Adam Duritz, one of the least polarizing and most objectively audio-visually soothing singers in rock 'n' roll history, is a half-century old today. This has attracted the notice of the official magazine for the American Association of Retired Persons, which is far more Twi...
Coconut Water Not All That Good For You, Also Lousy And Gross
Many people like to drink coconut water. Some like to drink it because they believe it contains miraculous health-chemicals. Others like to drink it because they believe it tastes good. Both of these groups are incorrect....
Man Seeks Girls To Host Fantasy Football Draft, Possibly While Topless
The cool bro you see above is, according to this Craigslist post, looking for two girls to host his upcoming fantasy football draft. All he needs is a couple of girls to run the draft board, serve the fellas some drinks, and, you know, wear a bikini or some sexy lingerie and maybe even pop those...
Extremely Intoxicated Metro North Passenger Munches On Floor Chips [Update]
This horrible incident occurred on one of New York's Metro North trains, which are often booze-fueled nightmares, full of shit-hammered White Plains residents trying to get home at 1:45 a.m. after drinking themselves stupid in the Meatpacking District....
A-Rod Looks Thrilled To Be In This Group Photo
A-Rod may just be looking into a different camera, or he may be staring off into the distance, wondering what's become of his life, but either way, he just doesn't feel like smiling. He could also have incredibly serious thoughts on salad....
How To Make Chicken Salad The Star Of The Show, For Once
Your whole life, chicken salad has been there for you. When you had leftover chicken, drying out in the refrigerator, and no appetite for it, ol' chicken salad was there to make it interesting and appetizing again. Ol' reliable. Silent and steady and dependable. A closer....