lifes-rich-pageant Page 2 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Victim Of Golf-Course Finger Biting Said It Sounded "Like Someone Chewing On A Dorito"
Derek Harkins, a 46-year-old Massachusetts man, was arraigned in Plymouth District Court on Monday on charges of assault and battery, mayhem, and disturbing the peace, after he allegedly bit off another man’s finger while trying to enjoy a golf outing....
Man Bites It
So this happened tonight, on FOX Sports South. Watch it endlessly, for it will never stop being hilarious....
Brain Worms Drive Hundreds Of Unfortunate Buckeyes Fans To Gather For Urban Meyer Rally
Ohio State head football coach Urban Meyer is currently on indefinite paid administrative leave while the university completes an investigation of reports that he knew of but did nothing about domestic violence allegations against assistant coach Zach Smith. Meyer is not dead; he is not in jail; he ...
Kidnapped Shark Found Safe; Thief Confesses To Stealing Her To Replace His Old Shark
We have a very happy update for you in the case of Helen, the horn shark who was the subject of a daring stroller heist this weekend at the San Antonio Aquarium. Not only has Helen been found, but she appears to have been lovingly cared for by her captor, who stole her in the first place because he ...
Cops: Trio Stole Shark By Swaddling It Like A Baby, Pushing It Out In A Stroller<em></em>
If you saw a baby being pushed in a stroller near the San Antonio aquarium on Saturday afternoon, guess what, it might have been a shark. According to Leon Valley police chief Joseph Salvaggio, three enterprising shark thieves made off with a three-foot long horn shark around 2:15 p.m. on Saturday a...
National Anthem Controversies Don't Get More Soul-Sucking Than This
Here is a story from the Alaskan hinterlands about an extremely shitty woman who tried to shame a college summer league baseball player and his team on Facebook for failing to properly respect the national anthem. That such a woman exists and would act in such a way is neither surprising nor all tha...
Here's The Police Body-Cam Footage After The Pickup Basketball 911 Call
By now you might be familiar with the story of a Virginia man who sought out law enforcement after he was hit with what eyewitnesses have described as a “hard screen” or “hard pick” in a game of pickup basketball Monday evening at an LA Fitness. After a gym employee called 911 to report that a membe...
Here's The 911 Call Made After A Man Set A "Hard Screen" In Pickup Basketball
A Virginia man sought out law enforcement after someone in his pickup basketball game performed what witnesses have described as a “hard screen” or “hard pick” at the LA Fitness in Sterling, Va. on Monday. Deadspin has acquired a 911 call made by the gym’s front desk clerk at 6:40 p.m. on Monday eve...
![Virginia Man Calls Cops After "Hard Screen" In Pickup Basketball [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/oechpzisr6mrt3uyoxiq.jpg)
Virginia Man Calls Cops After "Hard Screen" In Pickup Basketball [Update]
A man called the police during a pickup basketball game after getting knocked to the floor by a hard pick at the LA Fitness in Sterling, Va. yesterday. ...
Criminal Couple's Harrowing Attempt To Escape Convenience Store Features Unbelievable Number Of Plot Twists
A man and a woman visited the King Street Reddi Mart in Spruce Grove, Alberta, Canada on Monday afternoon, and the convenience store owner eventually called the police on suspicion that the man had been using a stolen credit card. By the time the couple left the store, they had lost a shirt and a sh...
Sweaty Softball Parents Try To Brawl, Roll Around For A Bit, Ruin Daughters' Weekend
The video you’re about to watch is going to look chaotic as hell and sound like the end of days—almost immediately, your ears will be flooded with girls screaming at the top of their lungs while your eyes fixate on what appears to be a violent brawl. Upon closer inspection, however, you’ll realize t...
Fox U.S. Open Broadcast Features Two Dudes Talkin' About Fuckin'
“We were fucking so hard and I head-butted her in the head.”...
Bitchin' Politician Just Blasts Himself Right In The Eyeballs With Pepper Spray!
Levi Tillemann is a Democrat running for Congress in Colorado’s sixth congressional district, and he wants you to know he is a leader who will work to “break through the partisan gridlock” and honestly I missed most of the rest of it because holy shit the guy just unloads a fucking quart of pepper s...
Ho Hum, Dennis Rodman Weeping On CNN Over The Personal Sacrifices He's Made To Broker Peace With North Korea
Monday night North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Un joined a historic summit with Donald Trump, a sleazy failed businessman turned sleazy reality television star turned sleazy opportunistic Republican turned President of the United States, and I mean to tell you we haven’t even gotten to the truly psyche...
Finally, There's Video Of The Mizzou Arena Joyride
Nearly a year later, footage of one man’s bold, very illegal joyride through Missouri’s basketball stadium has been made public. It does not disappoint....
Extremely Online Baseball Knowers Go To War Over "Games Above .500"
Baseball is Ye Olde American Pastime, old enough to have developed its own language and customs and conventions. For example, everyone who follows baseball knows that “7.1 innings” should be understood to mean “seven-and-a-third innings,” even though that’s not at all how decimals work. You could re...
Woman Arrested For Starting Fires In Kansas City Royals Outfield At 4:30 A.M.
A 36-year-old woman named Bridget DePriest has been arrested by Kansas City police and charged with trespassing and open burning after she allegedly set several fires on the Kauffman Stadium grass. DePriest was caught by a ballpark security guard around 4:30 a.m. on Wednesday, after he shined a flas...
"Poo Jogger" Caught In The Act
It’s a story as old as time: A man was taking poops where he wasn’t supposed to, and his neighbors have caught him in an elaborate sting operation by hiding in the bushes with a camera....
Man Nonchalantly Pisses On Plane Seat And Himself
A passenger on a Frontier Airlines flight from Denver to Charleston, S.C. Thursday was arrested and charged after he touched his female seatmate, was moved to a different part of the cabin, and then peed all over himself while still seated....
D-III Closer Gets Final Three Outs After Puking On The Infield
Rhodes College beat Franklin College 4-2 on the opening day of D-III regionals today, but it wasn’t without a ninth inning pitching performance that gave new meaning to the phrase “gutting it out.”...