list Page 20 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The NFL Schedule, Ranked By Week
Whoa, hey, the NFL schedule came out last night. Sure, thanks to perfect divisional symmetry, you already knew all 16 of your team's opponents this upcoming fall, but you didn't know the ORDER of those opponents, and the NFL knows that putting things in order is fun! Also, you get to measure your t...
Ten Sports We Want To See In A Mall
Tonight the Drake Relays will stage the fifth annual Mall Vault, which features the nation's best pole vaulters pole vaulting in a mall. Here are ten other sporting events that we want to see contested in a mall:...
Oh Hell, Root For The Wizards: John Wall's Brave, Stubborn Playoff Run
If you have watched much Washington Wizards basketball over the past four seasons, first of all, why, and I am so sorry—but also, you have seen John Wall chase down a ballhandler in transition, take off like a fucking F/A-18 off a carrier deck, and swat the absolute shit out of the ball. It's reall...
Spring Beers, Ranked
Good news: No matter how you do your seasonal accounting, it's definitely spring now. You're already kinda bored with baseball, you've got mud in previously undiscovered orifices, and your favorite fair-weather hot dog stand will come and go before Dick Vitale screams at you again. Furthermore, I so...
Can Anyone Stop The Beliebers? Vote On The Bitchy Bracket Final 8
We're down to the regional finals of our survey of the most thin-skinned, defensive fanboys in America, and apparently you people aren't familiar enough with the lunatics at TEAM BREEZY because Chris Brown's virtual harem got spanked in the Sweet 16 by Beliebers, who make such obvious targets. Here...
Skyline Figures You'd Like Blue Noodles Under Your Diarrhea Sludge
Would you get a load of that horror. I mean lean on in here and get a nice big load of it. That is a pair of tubs of pasta, dyed red and blue by Louisville's Skyline Chili locations as a... what? celebration? like hell! ...of the upcoming Louisville-Kentucky Sweet 16 matchup. Because Skyline Chil...
The Most "What The Fuck State Is This College In?" Colleges
With the NCAA tournament on the horizon, the Deadspin staff is once again thinking about what fucking state certain colleges are in. Here are our annual additions to our list of ambiguously located colleges, and below is our original ranking from last year....
Mankind's 10 Stages Of Drunkenness, According To Our Best Sportswriter
In honor of his new book (and in grudging acknowledgment of Frat Boy Thanksgiving), we give you Dan Jenkins's famous list, from Baja Oklahoma:...
Irish Beers, Ranked
St. Patrick's Day is tough on a civic-minded, humanist boozebag. I love New Year's Eve and Thanksgiving Morning and Arbor Weekend and all the other "amateur hours" that too many self-proclaimed sophisticates haughtily dismiss, but Paddy's Day comes soaked with complications beyond the rivers of glit...
Who Was The Best Oscars Host Of The Past 25 Years?
11. James Franco and Anne Hathaway (2011). Always beware of courting the "young," particularly two young people who are basically 50-year-olds in grownup clothing. Franco, stripped of all self-referential schtick, turned into an empty suit with nowhere to hide, and Hathaway's desperate attempts to p...
24 Light Beers, Ranked
Raise your hand if you're even fatter now than you were on New Year's Day. No, your other hand, the one that isn't strangling a donut. Oh, I see. Well, do you have a third hand? Never mind, the tear tracks carved through your powdered-sugar beard are affirmation enough....
Which Rapper Had The Best Athletic Career?
This list is ranked in order of athletic proficiency, not skills on the mic....
Cereals, Ranked
Here is a list of breakfast cereals, in order of deliciousness....
Flying Mattress Attacks Cyclist
Danish cyclist Matti Breschel was a bandaged mess after a mattress caused him to take a spill on his bike. Yeah, a mattress....
Get It Right, People: Bobby Knight Didn't Throw A <em>Folding</em> Chair
Despite being one of the most infamous coaching meltdowns in history and either the first or second thing that comes to mind when you hear the name Bobby Knight, there is one crucial aspect of The Incident With The Chair that is consistently misremembered: the type of chair he chucked across the flo...
The FBI Believed Clay/Liston I Was Fixed
There has long been chatter that Clay/Liston II, in which Sonny Liston went down to a phantom punch, wasn't on the up-and-up. But documents obtained by the Washington Times show the FBI suspected that their first fight, in 1964, may have been fixed by the mob....
Russian Beers, Ranked
When we think of Russian drinking customs, we like to envision steely-eyed, furry-hatted folk guzzling vodka with silent partners, grim determination, and maybe a pickle. That image has a certain nihilistic charm. It's less romantic to acknowledge that too many of these sad bastards wind up taking ...
Who Are The Best Dribblers In Champions League? A Ranking, 1 To 160
Dribbling is the most visually striking aspect of soccer. The excitement in the game flows from both nearly and actually made goals, and the beauty from the intricate passing and telekinetic movement of a true team. But from a strictly visual perspective, there is no clearer demonstration of mastery...
Bar Games, Ranked
Wait a minute, you can only watch the real, live Olympics on weirdo foreign computer TV at 3:00 in the morning? So my fellow ancients and I don't get to see our beloved curling and snowboarding, or even any of the lesser face-first sledding events, until whichever not-Costas is working finally deign...