lol Page 14 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Ron Baker Sucked A Contact Lens And Then Put It Right In His Damn Eye<em></em>
Ron Baker played 17 mostly second-half minutes in Monday night’s Knicks preseason game, which went to overtime. It was in overtime, with just under a minute left, when Baker was whacked in the face by Wizards rookie Troy Brown and had his contact lens dislodged. Lacking a few drops of nice clean sal...
Todd Bowles Hates Risk, Loves Meaningless Field Goals And Punts<em></em>
Was it really only three weeks ago that the Jets thumped the Lions on Monday Night Football? Did that win, which ushered in that unfamiliar sensation of honest-to-goodness hope, actually happen this season? The Jets haven’t won since, and Sunday’s 31-12 loss at the Jaguars was a total fartbomb that ...
Paul Pogba And José Mourinho's Relationship Is Rapidly Deteriorating
When last we updated you on the fraught situation between Manchester United manager José Mourinho and his star player Paul Pogba, the two parties were slamming their team’s performance this weekend and low-key (or in Pogba’s case, explicitly) blaming one another for the loss. In just a few short day...
The Mets Are Somehow Screwing Up David Wright's Farewell
Ask a group of Mets fans what they want and you will get a variety of different answers. Some, maybe many, will say “hard drugs, the hardest you’ve got” and others will start talking about signing Manny Machado before trailing off and just staring into the middle distance. Bring the focus in some w...
Mourinho And Pogba Agree That Manchester United Suck, But Disagree On Who Is To Blame
If there’s good news to come from Manchester United’s home draw against newly promoted Wolverhampton on Saturday, it’s that José Mourinho and Paul Pogba agree on what the problem is. If there’s bad news to come from that good news, it’s that Mourinho and Pogba more or less think it’s the other one’s...
Soccer Man's Goal Celebration Takes Surprise Detour Into The Twilight Zone
Meet Benjamin Kololli, a 26-year-old soccer player currently plying his trade in Switzerland. Kololli was in Cyprus yesterday, with his squad FC Zürich playing a big match against AEK Larnaca. Kololli is an important player, so he would not have been shocked to have been placed smack dab in the midd...
The Fake Ban On Russia's State-Run Doping System Is Over
In 2015, the World Anti-Doping Agency suspended Russia’s national anti-doping agency in the face of overwhelming evidence that the government was running a sophisticated doping operation for its top athletes. As of today—despite Russia’s failure to meet the basic conditions of its suspension, and ou...
Disease-Carrying Vermin Still A Little Too On-The-Nose As Coincidental Mets-Adjacent Phenomenon
The Red Sox, healthy, secure, surging toward the best season in franchise history, played with the toy skeleton of a rat in their dugout Friday night, mounting it on the dugout wall and putting seeds in its little mouth. Ha ha! The Mets, helpless, sick, crawling along in ignominy toward the conclusi...
Report: Joakim Noah And Knicks Will Be Liberated From One Another
The bitter feud between the New York Knicks and their most overpaid and underused player may be close to a resolution, per Shams Charania of The Athletic:...
David Wright Will Come Back To The Mets, And Then He'll Get To Leave
On Tuesday—before a 5-3 Mets loss to the Marlins, in which Jacob deGrom broke a 108-year-old MLB record by allowing three or fewer runs in his 26th straight start and also saw his record drop to 8-9 on the season—David Wright took a meeting with his team’s COO, who is the son of the team’s owner, an...
A New Jersey federal judge dismissed a class-action lawsuit that accused the New York Jets of screwing over PSL holders. “Agreement expressly disclaims that plaintiff is not acquiring the PSL as an investment or with a view to profiting from future distribution or resale, and further that Defendants...
Fresh Out Of More Obscure Maladies, Fate Sends A Baseball Into Noah Syndergaard's Ribs
In a turn of events that is both scarier and less troubling than his recent battle with hand, foot, and mouth disease, Noah Syndergaard was nailed in the ribs by a screaming comebacker Saturday night against the Phillies, and had to leave the game....
Lucas Moura Cooking Chris Smalling Is A Metaphor For Tottenham's Spanking Of Man United
It takes a firm lashing of José Mourinho’s asscheeks to get him to walk into a press conference and opine about international humanitarian crises before storming out of the room while doing an unironic Birdman impression, and that’s exactly what Tottenham administered to Mourinho’s Manchester United...
The Mets Did It Again
Oh brother, what are those freaking Mets up to this time?...
Paul Pogba's Agent Shit-Talks Man United Legend, And Things Are Looking Bad
Following Manchester United for the couple years, it’s hard to combat the sense that Paul Pogba isn’t very happy at the club right now. But for as up-and-down as his return to England has been, it seems like right now—with his manager criticizing him and the team playing poorly and unadventurously a...
Only José Mourinho Can Save Manchester United From Himself
If he weren’t such a hemorrhoidal asshole, you could be inclined to feel somewhat sorry for José Mourinho....
The Mets Made The Phillies Look Like The Mets
The New York Mets are the greatest baseball team of the past two days. Following up on a 16-5 drubbing of the Orioles on Wednesday night, one of the biggest laughingstocks in baseball took down the Phillies this afternoon by a staggeringly competent score of 24-4. Those 24 runs today are a Mets fran...
Break Up The Mets!
The Mets beat the Yankees Monday night, 8–5, for their second consecutive win, and fourth in five games, and sixth in nine. They’re coming off their first consecutive series wins since April, and recently got long-suffering Jacob deGrom his first win since mid-June. Things are finally looking ... kn...
James Dolan's New Song Is About How He Should Have Stopped Harvey Weinstein
Knicks owner James Dolan was a longtime friend of disgraced sex pervert Harvey Weinstein, and now he wants to let everyone know that he, James Dolan, is sorry that he never stopped Weinstein from sexually assaulting countless women. Because he is James Dolan, he has expressed this regret through a p...