lol Page 34 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

With Just One Retweet, You'll Help A Pathetic Team Give Something Away
The Mets have approximately 356,000 followers on Twitter. Today, they asked 5,000 accounts—who, according to the fine print, must follow them—to retweet their tweet in order for them to give away an autographed Bartolo Colon jersey....

Phil Jackson Needs To Take A Nap, Stop Tweeting
Phil Jackson’s Twitter is the gift that keeps on giving. After previously backing himself into a corner with his byzantine views of three-point shooting, Jackson AGAIN tried to stand up to the two-point bullies on the internet today: ...

Timberwolves Will Draft First, Knicks The Big Loser Of The Lottery
The NBA held the annual draft lottery Tuesday night, and as usual it provided drama in equal measures of hope and disappointment. This is the order teams will be picking in next month:...

Nick, The Cubs Threw Out Your Grandma’s Personalized Brick
Nick, my man, we have some bad news. Remember when your sweet grandma bought a commemorative brick to be placed outside of Wrigley Field, one that would stand as a testament to her love for you and the Cubbies forever? Well, the Cubs just made a sucker out of your sweet grandma, because they threw t...

Cristiano Ronaldo Scoffs At Championship, Exults In His Own Ronaldoness
For pretty much everyone involved or invested in La Liga, the biggest opportunity on offer during yesterday’s penultimate match day of the season was, seemingly, for Barcelona to wrap up the league title by beating Atlético. Cristiano Ronaldo, though, had his eyes on a larger prize. While Barcelona ...

Cristiano Ronaldo And His Teammates Were Really, Really Sad About Losing
We all know how great Cristiano Ronaldo and his Real Madrid teammates are. But acknowledging that doesn’t preclude us from cackling maniacally when they lose, and especially at the distraught looks on their faces when it happens, like today against Juventus. So here are a bunch of pictures of just t...

Dipshit Mets Fan Throws Beer At Grady Sizemore
Here’s a dipshit Mets fan spending $12 in a futile attempt to disrupt Phillies right fielder Grady Sizemore from fielding a ball in the fourth inning at Citi Field today. Stop wasting beer, dipshit!...

Mets Closer Jenrry Mejía Suspended 80 Games For Steroid Use
Jenrry Mejía, who became the Mets closer partway through last season after beginning the year as a starter, has been suspended 80 games for testing positive for stanozolol:...

Cristiano Ronaldo Shills Underwear With His Dong
Fresh off a couple great performances for Real Madrid, Cristiano Ronaldo posted a new picture of himself stumping for his underwear line, prominently featuring his favorite teammate. Here’s the full photo of his crotch in all its glory:...

David Blatt Just Stands There Like A Buster And Parrots LeBron's Calls
ESPN NBA writer Brian Windhorst, who is as connected to LeBron James and the Cleveland Cavaliers as any reporter can be, was a guest on Bill Simmons's latest podcast, and he dropped some juicy stuff about the various melodramas that have been hanging over the team all season. The whole thing is wo...

Gregg Popovich Calls Team "Pathetic" After Loss To Knicks
Last night, Gregg Popovich's San Antonio Spurs somehow managed to lose an overtime game to the Knicks, a team that regularly turns possessions into crimes against humanity. This wasn't one of those games where Pop sat all of his starters, either. This was a full-strength squad getting beasted by the...

Cristiano Ronaldo Reminds Us Why He's So Likable
In a weekend that saw Lionel Messi overtake Cristiano Ronaldo as the Spanish league's top scorer this season, Ronaldo can rest easy knowing his Argentine rival isn't likely to catch up to another one of his records: that of world's most-liked Facebook page. What makes him so beloved? Well, besides t...

Knicks Player Accidentally Does Something Good
The Knicks experienced a rare moment of good fortune in Sunday's game against the Suns, when Alexey Shved threw up a no-look shot in an attempt to draw a foul from Archie Goodwin. Somehow, the ball went in, giving Shved the chance at a three-point play....

Girl Scout Cookies: A Hurdle Too High
Full disclosure from the Olympic hurdler......

This Knicks-Lakers Game Is A War Crime
We might be in the NBA's Belle Époque, but this 15 second sequence is the lowest moment in NBA history. These two shots are crimes against humanity. If you are watching the Knicks-Lakers game please hit yourself in the face, and then instead watch the Cavaliers and Spurs on TNT....

Olympian On The IOC's Rules Against Sponsors: "It's Very Un-American"
We all know—or should know—that Olympic athletes don't make a penny from that 17-day extravaganza of running, jumping, throwing, swimming, flipping, etc. That pisses two-time Olympian Nick Symmonds off. It should, especially when you consider that even though about $6 billion went through the Inte...

Jason Smith's Dancing Is The Only Redeeming Thing About The Knicks
The Knicks are bullshit and should be ignored at all costs, but we can make an exception for power forward Jason Smith, who in this video busts out a series of dance moves at an energy level of a Pixie Stick-addled kid who just watched Ace Ventura: Pet Detective....

This Is The Worst Shot I've Ever Seen
The above GIF features one of the 400 or so best basketball players in a world earnestly attempting to make a shot—I think—in a real live basketball game that counted in the standings and everything. It went about 20 feet too high, 20 feet too deep, and 20 feet too wide, but at least Alexey Shved is...

No-Good, Terrible Defending Gives Monaco Commanding Lead On Arsenal
"Hey Gunners," Dimitar Berbatov said with a wry grin, wheeling away towards the corner flag after some shockingly terrible defending sent the former Spurs and Red Devil striker free on goal to put Monaco up 2-0, "remember me?"...