lol Page 35 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Mets Rookie Steven Matz Is A Man Of Many Talents
Everyone loves Mets rookie pitcher Steven Matz today, mostly because he did a lot of cool shit in his first big-league game, and also because he has a swell grandpa. Well, did you also know that Matz is really good at spinning stuff on his finger?...
Jahlil Okafor Looks Pretty Excited To Play For The 76ers
The Philadelphia 76ers presented their new draftees to the press yesterday, though it seems third overall pick Jahlil Okafor isn’t too psyched to put on the jersey....
Maybe Kristaps Porzingis Is An Okay Rapper After All
Here’s Krzykyzffgzl so and so, the Knicks’ top draft pick last night, singing a song in his car. At first I didn’t like this:...
The Knicks' Selection Of Kristaps Porzingis, In Four Images
Tonight the New York Knicks drafted Latvian forward Kristaps Porzingis with the fourth overall pick in the 2015 NBA Draft. Here are some images of Knicks fans reacting to this selection....
Nine Possible Knicks Draft Picks
The Knicks have the fourth overall pick in tonight’s draft, which should guarantee them a shot at a very talented young player. But the rumor mill suggests they’re strongly considering taking Frank Kaminsky or trading the pick away, because the Knicks can always find a way to screw up a good thing. ...
This Moment Of Phillies Ineptitude Brought To You By The Bullpen Phone
How bad were the Phillies against Baltimore tonight? So bad they had to bring in Jeff Francoeur to pitch. Except that Francoeur couldn’t get anybody out, so pitching coach Bob McClure tried to call down to the bullpen to get a real pitcher up. One problem: the bullpen phone was off the hook after Ph...
With Just One Retweet, You'll Help A Pathetic Team Give Something Away
The Mets have approximately 356,000 followers on Twitter. Today, they asked 5,000 accounts—who, according to the fine print, must follow them—to retweet their tweet in order for them to give away an autographed Bartolo Colon jersey....
Phil Jackson Needs To Take A Nap, Stop Tweeting
Phil Jackson’s Twitter is the gift that keeps on giving. After previously backing himself into a corner with his byzantine views of three-point shooting, Jackson AGAIN tried to stand up to the two-point bullies on the internet today: ...
Timberwolves Will Draft First, Knicks The Big Loser Of The Lottery
The NBA held the annual draft lottery Tuesday night, and as usual it provided drama in equal measures of hope and disappointment. This is the order teams will be picking in next month:...
Nick, The Cubs Threw Out Your Grandma’s Personalized Brick
Nick, my man, we have some bad news. Remember when your sweet grandma bought a commemorative brick to be placed outside of Wrigley Field, one that would stand as a testament to her love for you and the Cubbies forever? Well, the Cubs just made a sucker out of your sweet grandma, because they threw t...
Cristiano Ronaldo Scoffs At Championship, Exults In His Own Ronaldoness
For pretty much everyone involved or invested in La Liga, the biggest opportunity on offer during yesterday’s penultimate match day of the season was, seemingly, for Barcelona to wrap up the league title by beating Atlético. Cristiano Ronaldo, though, had his eyes on a larger prize. While Barcelona ...
Cristiano Ronaldo And His Teammates Were Really, Really Sad About Losing
We all know how great Cristiano Ronaldo and his Real Madrid teammates are. But acknowledging that doesn’t preclude us from cackling maniacally when they lose, and especially at the distraught looks on their faces when it happens, like today against Juventus. So here are a bunch of pictures of just t...
Dipshit Mets Fan Throws Beer At Grady Sizemore
Here’s a dipshit Mets fan spending $12 in a futile attempt to disrupt Phillies right fielder Grady Sizemore from fielding a ball in the fourth inning at Citi Field today. Stop wasting beer, dipshit!...
Mets Closer Jenrry Mejía Suspended 80 Games For Steroid Use
Jenrry Mejía, who became the Mets closer partway through last season after beginning the year as a starter, has been suspended 80 games for testing positive for stanozolol:...
Cristiano Ronaldo Shills Underwear With His Dong
Fresh off a couple great performances for Real Madrid, Cristiano Ronaldo posted a new picture of himself stumping for his underwear line, prominently featuring his favorite teammate. Here’s the full photo of his crotch in all its glory:...
David Blatt Just Stands There Like A Buster And Parrots LeBron's Calls
ESPN NBA writer Brian Windhorst, who is as connected to LeBron James and the Cleveland Cavaliers as any reporter can be, was a guest on Bill Simmons's latest podcast, and he dropped some juicy stuff about the various melodramas that have been hanging over the team all season. The whole thing is wo...
Gregg Popovich Calls Team "Pathetic" After Loss To Knicks
Last night, Gregg Popovich's San Antonio Spurs somehow managed to lose an overtime game to the Knicks, a team that regularly turns possessions into crimes against humanity. This wasn't one of those games where Pop sat all of his starters, either. This was a full-strength squad getting beasted by the...