lol Page 35 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Charles Oakley Says James Dolan Won't Even Look Him In The Eye
Former Knicks player Charles Oakley went on the Boomer & Carton show today to talk about the stuff cranky old basketball players love to talk about: How the game just isn't the same anymore, and how today's players are too damn soft. Once those topics had been exhausted, though, Oakley went on to ta...

Basketball Is Dead. The Knicks And Sixers Murdered It.
All the precious, fragile, bitterly-won gains of humankind's wretched, fitful, brave, millennia-long upward struggle went up in white-hot magnesium flames last night in Philadelphia and burned away to powder. All for nothing. All fantasies, every damn one. The Knicks and Sixers have shown us ours...

Are The Mets Charging Players To Attend Offseason Workouts?
The Mets are currently holding offseason workouts in Port St. Lucie, Fla., and based on some chatter coming from reporters who are at the camp and local beat writers, the Mets are running some bullshit....

Knicks Heroically Win Fourth Quarter By 17, Only Lose By 28
Hey New York resident, how'd you spend the Saturday early afternoon? Maybe finishing up a long brunch? Enjoying a sunny (but chilly) stroll on the High Line? Catching up on the last season of Sherlock? Really, anything would've been great because Saturdays are great and full of promise. Unless you...

Knicks Fans Have Finally Reached For The Paper Bags
This is it, Knicks fans. This is your life for at least the next few months, and probably much longer unless Phil Jackson can somehow pull off the miracle of luring Marc Gasol to New York to play with a past-his-prime Carmelo Anthony....

ESPN Wants Nothing To Do With The Knicks
When the NBA released the national TV schedule in August, the Knicks appeared across ESPN, ABC, and TNT a total of 16 times, tied for ninth most in the league. The NBA has long catered to fans of large market teams—the LOLakers got 20 national TV games even though everybody knew they would be awful ...

Bad Knicks Goober Flings Hook Shot To Nowhere
That's Cole Aldrich, starting center for the New York Knicks, draining a sweet turnaround hook shot on the invisible ghost-hoop six feet to the right of the regular one. Good move....

<i>Times</i> Sending Knicks Beat Reporter Anywhere But Madison Square Garden
Being a sports reporter isn't all that it's cracked up to be. Fans think reporters have the ultimate dream job—"you get to watch sports all day long, man!"—so they have to pretend like they love every single second of it or get called jaded or ungrateful. And to be sure, most sports reporters (I t...

How In The Ever-Lovin' Hell Can The Knicks Be So Much Bullshit?
Oh yes, this is the good stuff. This is the pure Colombian. This is the braindead, dogshit, dick-in-the-wall-socket-type Knicks experience that's been missing for the last, uh—fuck it, the last couple months, at least. Welcome back, assholes....

NFL Execs Keep Refusing Interviews For The Jets' GM Job
The New York Jets need a new coach and a new general manager, and they've been asking a lot of people around the league if they might be interested in interviewing for the latter job. A good chunk of the people they've reached out to have answered that request with a hard pass....

Oregon's New Uniforms Are Sewn Together With Lies
The uniforms that the Oregon Ducks are going to wear in the national championship are not only bad and boring, they were created by liars....

Kobe Flips Out Because Jeremy Lin, Rest Of Lakers Are Morons
Kobe Bryant hit a clutch three last night to bring the Lakers within one of the Grizzlies at Staples Center. He did this with 24 seconds remaining in the game, which meant that Los Angeles needed to foul and stop the clock. Jeremy Lin, guarding the Memphis ball-handler, did nothing. So Kobe took mat...

The Knicks Just Can't Catch A Break
It's been a nightmare season so far for the New York Knicks, as their 5-28 record places them just in front of the dreadful 76ers at the bottom of the Eastern Conference. Today, the team got more bad news:...

New York Jets Allow Longest Play Of 2014 Season
Here's the Dolphins' Lamar Miller going 97 yards on a rush against the New York Jets, who provided us this wonderful gift as a testament to their efforts this season at being incompetent in every way. ...

Report: Rex Ryan Has Already Cleared Out His Office
How positive is Rex Ryan that he is going to be fired after six season as the New York Jets head coach? According to a report from Dom Cosentino, Ryan has already cleared out his office in advance of Sunday's game at Miami. Jets owner Woody Johnson has reportedly hired former Texans GM Charley Casse...

So Good News And Bad News, Then
Yesterday, Carmelo hit a Christmas Day scoring milestone and the Knicks hit a futility-in-general milestone. This seems exactly right. ...

John Wall Is In Control
You may have skipped yesterday's Christmas Day game between the Knicks and Wizards, in part because the craptacular Knicks were involved, and in part because a certain level of pacing is required when there are 12 hours of basketball to watch. If you did skip it, you didn't miss the greatest game ev...

Cristiano Ronaldo Statue Features A Big Ol' Bulging Dick
Cristiano Ronaldo is, quite deservedly, an icon in his hometown of Funchal, Madeira, Portugal—so much so that he has a museum dedicated in his honor. This weekend, Ronaldo was on hand to witness the unveiling of a new statue made in his image. What can we say? The statue is sporting a huge erection....

Kobe Needs To Have A Seat
Kobe Bryant had himself an atrocious game against the Kings yesterday, scoring 25 while missing 22 of his 30 shots and committing nine turnovers in 38 minutes of sad, clunky run. Old Man Kobe maniacally shooting his team out of games is something that's been happening a lot this year, but yesterday ...