lol Page 36 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Knicks Just Can't Catch A Break
It's been a nightmare season so far for the New York Knicks, as their 5-28 record places them just in front of the dreadful 76ers at the bottom of the Eastern Conference. Today, the team got more bad news:...

New York Jets Allow Longest Play Of 2014 Season
Here's the Dolphins' Lamar Miller going 97 yards on a rush against the New York Jets, who provided us this wonderful gift as a testament to their efforts this season at being incompetent in every way. ...

Report: Rex Ryan Has Already Cleared Out His Office
How positive is Rex Ryan that he is going to be fired after six season as the New York Jets head coach? According to a report from Dom Cosentino, Ryan has already cleared out his office in advance of Sunday's game at Miami. Jets owner Woody Johnson has reportedly hired former Texans GM Charley Casse...

So Good News And Bad News, Then
Yesterday, Carmelo hit a Christmas Day scoring milestone and the Knicks hit a futility-in-general milestone. This seems exactly right. ...

John Wall Is In Control
You may have skipped yesterday's Christmas Day game between the Knicks and Wizards, in part because the craptacular Knicks were involved, and in part because a certain level of pacing is required when there are 12 hours of basketball to watch. If you did skip it, you didn't miss the greatest game ev...

Cristiano Ronaldo Statue Features A Big Ol' Bulging Dick
Cristiano Ronaldo is, quite deservedly, an icon in his hometown of Funchal, Madeira, Portugal—so much so that he has a museum dedicated in his honor. This weekend, Ronaldo was on hand to witness the unveiling of a new statue made in his image. What can we say? The statue is sporting a huge erection....

Kobe Needs To Have A Seat
Kobe Bryant had himself an atrocious game against the Kings yesterday, scoring 25 while missing 22 of his 30 shots and committing nine turnovers in 38 minutes of sad, clunky run. Old Man Kobe maniacally shooting his team out of games is something that's been happening a lot this year, but yesterday ...

Jets Owner "Accidentally" Favorites Tweet Calling For GM's Firing
Woody Johnson—the man who once butt-dialed his ex-girlfriend while his current girlfriend was giving birth—is still having issue with technology. Or so he'd like you to believe....

Kobe: "These Motherfuckers Ain't Doing Shit For Me" (VIDEO UPDATE)
The 6-16 Lakers are garbage and will likely continue to be garbage, but Kobe Bryant refuses to give up. His latest motivational tactic: Emotionally dismantling his teammates during practice. Getting yelled at by a champion will make you a champion, maybe....

Laptop Man Unfazed By Kobe-Rondo Meeting
Kobe Bryant and Rajon Rondo got breakfast together in Boston this morning, which is fine and good and probably means that Kobe is trying to convince Rondo to come play with him in L.A. so that the two can form some kind of super team of surly-assness and eventually kill each other. But that's not wh...

John Wall Destroyed The Lakers Last Night
Kobe Bryant and Nick Young hit a bunch of fluky long jumpers in a row during the second quarter of the Lakers' game in DC last night; with around six minutes left in the half they led by 11 points, and if you saw the score (47-36) crawl across the bottom of your screen just then, you might've though...

Cristiano Ronaldo Gets Seriously Mad At Losing Meaningless Competition
Judging by Cristiano Ronaldo's legitimately pissed off response to his team losing what was supposed to be a friendly little contest at a sponsored event, we can add his name to the ranks of Michael Jordan, and other athletes who hate losing even something as small as a coin flip with a fervency u...

Kobe Bryant Is Not Even Pretending To Respect His Teammates Anymore
This moment, from yesterday's game between the Lakers and Denver Nuggets, is just perfect representation of Kobe Bryant's current relationship with his teammates....

Kobe Bryant Airballs From Siberia As The Lakers Lose by 34
The other day my colleague Albert Burneko worried that Nick Young's return had improbably elevated the Lakers from "gonzo terribleness to bland mediocrity." Worried because the Lakers' spectacular brand of suck has been the most entertaining subplot early in this surprisingly dismal NBA season, and ...

Why The Lakers' Brand Of Suck Matters
That Nick Young's return to the lineup would coincide with the Lakers' ascent from gonzo terribleness to bland mediocrity fits, really. Both because at every stop in his NBA career Nick Young has done whatever would annoy me the most, but also because "Swaggy P" is the basketball embodiment of a tw...

The Funniest Thing In Sports: Kobe Bryant Chucking At Historic Levels
Kobe Bryant shot a combined 16-for-48 in the two ass-kickings the Lakers absorbed over the weekend. Even the bad guys from Rambo III are all, "Jesus, man, that's a lotta terrible shooting." The friggin' Ethyl Higby Charm School doesn't have that many misses....

Sad Jeremy Lin Sums Up The Lakers' Season In Six Seconds
I have no idea what question this is in response to, but it could have been anything from "How can you guys improve on the defensive end?" to "At this point, why even continue living?" and this would be the perfect answer....

Knicks Lose Despite Carmelo's Clutch Three With Seconds Remaining
Carmelo Anthony hit a clutch, tying three-pointer with two seconds remaining in the Knicks' game tonight in New York against the Jazz. The Knicks still lost, in regulation, thanks to Trey Burke's buzzer-beater....
